Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: My hope is that a lot of people break themselves free out of the matrix, out of this delusion that they can't have everything that they want, out of this idea that, that they haven't created it all, out of this idea that they're powerless.
My goal is to wake up the earth and say, hey, we all chose this. We all did it for a reason. And let's, you know, let's join hands and join forces and, and really heal ourselves, heal our lineage for any, you know, with a lot of moms, they're so selfless that they won't heal for their own sake. And I tell them, heal for your kids because this is a lineage thing.
You inherited all your parents pain on the moment of conception, all mom's DNA and dad's DNA, boop. Get dropped down into your system. All their pain, all their trauma, all their crap, some they're good stuff too. We can keep that around. But everything that they carried with them back seven generations on both sides, it all gets downloaded into you.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Welcome to Super Normalize the podcast where we challenge the conventional, break boundaries and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, C.J. barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life experience. Each episode, I'm blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you're looking to upgrade your life, you've come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe and I'll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners. If you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge you'd love to share, reach out to me at Supernormalized Roton me. Let's together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual. What it really is completely normal. Welcome to Supernormalized. Today we talk with Tammy Cox. She is a transformational coach who has a line into the inner child and she does so primarily with women. In her work and in doing this work, she actually helps people solve their traumas and work through them in ways that assist. Assist them into pop open a greater understanding of themselves and the ways they actually are behaving and reacting to life, changing their lives in transformational, opening, enlightening sort of ways that assist in personal growth in so many different areas. I can attest to this because of some of the work I've done recently with a. With a hypnotherapist. So I understand how when you go when you get down into the deep, deep, deep stuff, you find a lot of it's related and it's really interesting. So this talk is a really interesting talk about that sort of work.
And, yeah, please, if you could enjoy this show and like, and subscribe, that'd be really nice, too. I'd really like that.
And, yeah, I'm sure you will enjoy the show.
Welcome to Supernormalized. Tammy Cox.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Thank you for having me. I'm very happy to be here and excited for this conversation. I think it's going to be juicy.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I really enjoy doing this, and I love talking to people about helping other people go through their growth and change. So you're a change agent, from what I understand, and you dedicate yourself to transformational coaching and you focus on women and also healing the inner child. Do you want to talk about that and how you got to the. To that sort of path in life?
[00:04:38] Speaker A: Yeah, Well, I got there the way most of us do, through a very traumatic childhood and a lot of pain myself.
And when I became, let's see, around 26, I became a mom for the first time. And that's where all of my triggers started sounding off.
And at that point, I realized that I had a lot of wounding from my early childhood that I hadn't dealt with. That was all now coming to the surface, and it was a point that I could not really ignore it anymore. You know, it was. I. I had reached that sort of boiling point, if you will, and that's when I started on.
I started on my healing journey before that. But I. I'd say that was the time it was, like, so necessary, and I had to go a little bit deeper.
When I had my transformation, going through my trauma healing, that was when I really started to just kind of understand that that that was just my life purpose. Like, it is my life purpose to help others who also struggle in life from those early childhood wounds to then, you know, heal those so that they can have the life that they desire.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: Yeah, right. Can you share some more about your upbringing and how that shaped your views and faith and spirituality?
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So I grew up in a very religious home.
I'd even say pretty dogmatic. And it was very controlled, very isolated. My father was controlling and he was abusive, and he really scared the absolute piss out of me.
So when I was 11 was when my parents sat, you know, me and my siblings down and. And told us that my father was dying of aids.
And this was a moment that, you know, changed my life forever.
And then he died A month later. So all of a sudden I went, you know, at 11 years old, from being in this, like. Like, bubble, right? Like this bubble of a reality. The bubble got popped. And all of a sudden I didn't know up from down, you know, and I questioned everything.
So I went through my teenage years just, like, really angry. I was angry and bitter, and I questioned, like, everything. And the world just felt very unsafe to me. So I think that's why, you know, I reached that place, you know, in my mid-20s, where I just. I couldn't hang anymore because all of that trauma from the father that just scared me so much, to then being relieved by his death, but then feeling I felt guilty that I felt relieved, you know, So I had really this. Like, I had so much going on in my young little mind that I had to really sift through in my later years.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: That's a lot of tension to deal with as a young child. What. How did that manifest for you? I mean, did you. What did you do to actually sort of relieve that tension?
[00:08:02] Speaker A: I mean, I tried everything.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: I think we all.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: I really did. I numbed out with just about any substance that a person could.
For me, I just. You know, when you go through so much trauma when you're really young, what happens is you develop all these voices in your head, right? And for me, it was just. I think most of us do. But for me, the voices got louder and louder the older I got and the. The more I tried to ignore them with all the different things. I mean, when I finally realized, like, oh, I can't run from this. The numbing isn't working.
I need. I need a fix. And so I went through talk therapy, the books, the seminars, religion, you name it. Like, I tried it, and it would help a little momentarily, and then things would go right back to the way that they were. So for me, none of that worked until I got to the trauma work. That's when I really started digging deeper and understanding really how the mind and subconscious mind work. You know, if you are dealing with things on a habit level, if you're like, oh, well, just stop doing these things, that doesn't work. Because if you're not getting to the root cause of why you're doing the things, then you're going to swap it out with something else, right? So for me, I had to get to the core beliefs that were really creating my life experience. All those horrible beliefs I had about myself that were just destroying my life and sabotaging all my relationships.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: Yeah, that's the way Things usually work. It's like the traumatized inner child breaks off and keeps on protecting you in insecure ways. And by doing that, then the patterns continue. And even though you think, well, on the top level, I've dealt with that, that's not true. Until you've dealt with a part that's actually separate and you brought it back.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Yeah. And, you know, a lot of times, you know, like, with my clients, they'll be like, oh, I already dealt with that. And it's like, it wouldn't be coming up if it was fully dealt with. And some of the really big stuff, we just have to. We have to keep going back until it's completely neutralized. So you may think that you dealt with something, and you may think that you've forgiven and you've moved on, but if we're still seeing the patterns, then we know that that's not true. And it's okay to be like, okay, there's a little more work to do here, because I really don't think that we ever get to the end of our healing journey in this meat suit.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: Okay, so.
So you said that you started to work with dealing with your. Your trauma scars. How. How did that actually play out? Did you read anything or do some courses? What did you do to actually start discovering that?
[00:11:08] Speaker A: I started taking courses.
I started, you know, I. I studied under a woman named Dr. Aaron, and she taught me the modality called E4 trauma. And I also. I learned under different teachers and coaches over the years, and I kind of created my own modality within that, which is kind of dealing with the emotion. So we have all this emotion, negative emotion, trapped within the body that's tied to the image in our head, which is the memory. Right. So I learned how to get to that root cause quickly so that we can then deal with the image and then the emotion trapped in the body and move it out. So it can be a very quick process, not the process I originally learned many years ago, but developed over time. And now it's quite quick because I know how the conscious and subconscious mind work, and I know how it programs your system.
So now I. And. And I'd say that modern science, like we. If you want some great teachers to kind of teach you how the conscious and subconscious mind work, Dr. Bruce Lim, he has taught me so much because he's really merged science with the spiritual to really give us a nice structure on how we're actually programmed, because everything we are today has been programmed in those first five years of life.
And so if we're dealing with anything on the surface level, then we're really not going to get much for results.
We really got to go deep to find those. Limiting. In my line of work, we call them commands, and it's really the limiting beliefs that are so deeply imprinted on the subconscious mind that they are coming up in all the traumatic events in their life.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: And so we go. We start with the biggest traumatic events, and we neutralize them one by one.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: Okay, you call them commands. I mean, what did you call them? Commands. How did. How did you get to that understanding?
[00:13:18] Speaker A: So a command, they're the.
They're the belief that you came up with as the little child in that event. So, for instance, when my dad was beating me, instead of having sort of a thought of like, oh, my dad's really mad. Oh, maybe he's trying to help me. Oh, like you can come up with any thought in that moment, but the thought I came up with is, I'm unlovable. And that's why he's treating me like this. So then if I could go back to every event from that moment forward, that was the command that was imprinted in every single event.
I'm not lovable. I'm not lovable. I'm not lovable. It was like a record going on in my mind because it was so deeply imprinted. It came in in those first five years. So it's so good to know that, first of all, you came up with the belief so it can be changed.
And it's also very, very powerful to know the specific words that your little mind came up with. Because when we look back, so I take. Say I take my client through event, we find hers, and we recognize the pattern because it there. There's like three. Three strong one that comes up in each event every time we go back. And so then we go, okay, these are pretty. These are our strong ones. Right. You'll know by the repetition.
And then I'll say, okay, now I want you to list out all the areas in your life where you made that true for yourself.
And that's kind of when I ask them that question, that's kind of where they have the aha of like, oh, that relationship, that relationship, that job, this thing. I didn't go after this dream. I stayed small here. You know, that's where they can kind of connect the dots and say, oh, this belief is so strong. It impacted every event in my life.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Now I can relate to that. I've been doing some work with a hypnotherapist recently. And some of the things that she's put into a.
A recorded session that I listen to is making my mind pop in ways that goes. What? That's all connected to that.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: See?
[00:15:39] Speaker B: Yeah. It's so obvious when you see that.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Right. I'm so glad you're doing hypnotherapy, because that is the fastest way to bypass the conscious mind, to drop into the subconscious.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: If you can do anything that's dealing with hypnotherapy, even on the, you know, with the lighter stages of, you know, brainwaves, it's like you're going to get so much further, so much faster.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I write hypnotherapy scripts for myself and record them for myself. But it was different to actually have this script because she had gone into the understanding from a conversation that we had about things that I was missing in parts of myself that I didn't even catch. You know what I mean? You don't see that. That she was seeing.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: So it was perfect. And it sounds exactly like what you're doing or similar to what you're doing, you know, so that's amazing and powerful stuff. So what do you believe are the most common traumas that women face that impact their relationships?
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Hmm.
You know, it's so interesting because some people would say it's like the big stuff. Oh, a car accident, you know, some sort of, you know, violent act on them, or a rape or, you know, something to that. Of that spectrum. But it's. Sometimes it's something so simple. In fact, I was telling someone this recently.
Oftentimes the first time we go to the. You know, because I kind of. I work with the subconscious mind, kind of ask them, okay, where should we go first? And a lot of times the first one is like the first time they were left by their parent, like the first day of kindergarten. I've had that several times.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: So a lot of times we think it's this big catastrophic event. And I'm like, not necessarily. So I had a big one around money. Right. Because we have limiting beliefs around everything. And I really wanted to figure out my money patterns. And so I took myself back, I regressed myself, and it was like the one event, and it wasn't even, like a trauma, so to speak. You wouldn't. You wouldn't think of it that way. But it was. It was the Christmas after my father died, and I woke up on Christmas morning and came out, looked at all the presents underneath the tree and I got so excited.
And then the. The thought pops in. You have to lose someone you love to have more money. Because we didn't have money when my dad was alive. And then, you know, my dad dies, and all of a sudden, you know, the government gives you money. And it was the first Christmas there were all these presents. And so that was a traumatic event for me because even though it was this wonderful thing, like all these presents, ooh, how exciting. But the next thought was, you have to lose someone you love in order to have more money. And that's followed me all my life.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: So it's. It's very interesting how it could not even be a trauma, so to speak. I'm using quotes just in case someone's listening to this air quotes. But it doesn't have to be what you would describe or think of as a traumatic event, because a traumatic event is just a high state of negative emotion. That's all it is. But it can be just a very subtle thing. And you don't even realize that it is literally blocked you from allowing more money into your life because you have this bogus belief that has been imprinted so deeply that now it's blocking you from allowing more money in.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I can relate to that. I. One of the things I was working on was the fact that when I was eight years old, I wanted to have a.
A plastic dinosaur that was at the corner shop. And so I stole money from my own money box, and I went and got that plastic dinosaur. But then I felt guilty about it for 13 years. And when I talked to my mother about it, she said, it doesn't matter.
All these years I was worried about it, but that stuck with me.
[00:19:37] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: And affected my, you know, money problems and everything. I didn't know that until I really looked at it. What really it was that.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: I mean, that's why I think. That's why I think it's so important. If there's anything holding you back in life, we all have this opportunity to go to look. Like, don't be scared to look.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a form of growth when you actually are able to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to even look. So that's a big thing.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: So true.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
Can you explain your approach to inner child work and the significance it has in healing emotional wounds?
[00:20:25] Speaker A: So my approach, the first thing I do when I start working with a client is really to figure out, okay, what areas have you been stuck? And I'm not talking about, like, recently, let's look at your life let's step back and kind of look at the areas where you haven't been able to get what you want or you can't hang onto it.
And then we start to track it, same as what we've been talking about. We start to track the patterns. Okay, how far back does this go? And we just follow the little lines and we follow it all the way back. The goal is to get into that first five years because like I said, almost your entire personality was created in those first five years. So we want to find how that pattern that you developed tracks back. And then the goal is to neutralize the event so we can identify the event. Then we neutralize it, basically because I said the event that's stored in your body is really holding the emotion. And so we go back to the emotion and we really go like this and just take the emotional plug out of it so that you. So it has no more charge on you, it's no longer in your body, we move it out and then we have this new freed up space within your body where we can now put in the new programming. Who do you choose to be now? What's the new identity you want to believe about yourself?
We have that freed up space to really look at the life and say, we can design it from, you know, ground zero, let's build it up how we want it. So it's really just about first identifying, then neutralizing and then creating the new identity.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: And how do you think that actually plays out when it comes to affecting people's relationships?
[00:22:23] Speaker A: Oh gosh, everything.
When I like my husband and I, we struggled for years in a pretty toxic marriage.
And when I decided to heal for me, I just said, hey bro, I don't know what's going on with you, what you want to do, but I know that I want to be happy, I want to get better and I'm going to heal myself. So I kind of put my blinders on at that point. I said, I'm getting me right.
Well, what happened was, is we changed because I changed, right? When one person change it, it affects the dynamic. All of a sudden he didn't have his buddy to fight and argue with. He had this peaceful, more relaxed, more okay with herself, loving herself because I had such tremendous self hatred, you know, having that as a wife.
But he had this new, new person, right? And so when I changed me, every relationship around me transformed because I showed up differently. I was literally a different person. So, you know, I hear a lot of people that come to me especially, they're like he's the problem, you got to fix him. I don't know how you're going to work with just me and fix this problem. And I'm like, that's all we need is one person to step up and say, hey, I take full on responsibility. I, I want to heal me. And if you're not attached to the outcome as far as like what relationships stay and go, you'll notice that the people around you will either draw near to you and shift up or they'll bounce.
Those are the two things that happen with the, with the people. The women I work with is they either all the relationships will change and definitely they, they have to. It's just law.
But it's like they'll either get better or they'll, they'll just go away.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen that when people actually start to do the healing that, you know, often the relationship gets better and in ways that usually both people didn't expect. You know, when you start to work on yourself, it's just amazing how things happen because usually we're attracted to the parts of another person that can actually assist in your healing.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: So, you know, when we're on our healing journey and then the opposite when we're not. Right, that's right.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: So like my husband and I, we had this, we had the same toxic dynamic. Like we triggered each other. We'd go in this circle, like his, his trauma response was to like hide, get small, get quiet, and mine was to get loud and obnoxious like a little four year old having a tantrum. And so we would just, I would trigger him with my response and he would trigger me with his and we would just do this dynamic. Right. And when I changed mine, you know, how could you, how could it not change? Right? So it's like you attracted that person because of your trauma wounds. If you haven't started on your healing journey yet. Just the way it works. No, no judgment. But that's just the way we work as human beings.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I've seen that over and over. And because of the.
I'm talking about myself. And I should say that too because of the lack of inside of myself at the times, you know, I wasn't able to change and neither was my partner. And so we both would just bounce and go to the next person and torture them until we both, until I.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: Don'T know what happened.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: But you know, but you do, but you do realize over time, right? Like, wait, wait a minute, I am a bit of a dick because of these reasons and I could be better. So then, you know, but you do realize that over time and you think, okay, well, what do I need and what do I want? And you know, and you work out your desires and your, your emotional needs set and eventually you attract the right person that meets those and you both encourage each other.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: Not, not always, but yes. I mean, if like I, I fall under the line of like just taking all the responsibility for everything and saying, you know, I came into this life, I chose my struggles, I chose my partners, I chose my parents, I chose it all. Right? Because I feel like that's how I can kind of own my life to the fullest. Right? And it's like, if that's true and I chose all of it, then there was a reason why I chose it. It's obviously teaching me something, right? And so it's, it's fine to go through all that mess because yes, it's honing in. What do I want? What do I want? What do I want? Right? So it's all good and it's all for our growth, but it's like until we realize it is, it's not.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: Well, look, I, I'm, I'm interested to know though, because you, you went through a lot of awful experience with, to do with your faith and religion. Do you still have a faith now?
[00:27:44] Speaker A: I do, but it doesn't, it's not a religion, you know. Yeah, religion, I believe for the most part, where it's developed to today, it's, it's largely just fear based, you know, do these things or else you're going to that place. I don't buy into any of that anymore. However. Sorry.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: It's okay.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: However, there are still lots of things within. Like I use the Bible a lot. There's a lot of wisdom in there in the New Testament that I still utilize some in the Old Testament because I studied it my whole life, so I know it really well. But I see it in a different perspective. Like, for instance, I do not believe that the Bible, when it talks about heaven and hell, I don't believe it's in a, an experience that happens after we transition. I believe it happens within our physicalness. I believe that it's created by our thoughts. You see people walking around, they are living hell on earth, right? They're like, you walk the streets in a highly homeless population and those people ain't having a good time.
And, and to be honest, I lived hell on earth for a huge period of my life. I know what that feels like. And now I'm living most of the time. I have an on earth experience, so I believe that a lot of the truths that are held in sacred documents, there's some really great stuff in there. But if it's a fear based system, I'm sorry, like, I don't subscribe to any of that shit anymore. Yeah, none of it.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: Take what works, take what works.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: Leave the rest.
[00:29:24] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure, for sure.
What advice would you give to someone that's struggling with their faith or seeking a spiritual path outside of traditional teachings?
[00:29:33] Speaker A: Then I'd say, oh my gosh, open yourself up. Like for me I was so closed down because any one that used words that didn't align to the way I believed, I would just shut it down. Right. But if you just open yourself, crack that door open a little. Just say what if? Right, just what, what if I, I don't have this. All right, what if there's more to the story? What if, you know, like we have to constantly be asking oursel what works for me for this place I'm at right now. And there's a lot of stuff we do that no longer serves us. And when we're stuck in the old ways and we're not open, we're going against, I believe, our natural tendency for growth and expansion. I think, I think as human beings, if you look at how we've progressed over the years, it's our natural state to be growing. And if you're stuck in this old pattern because you just can't let go, because that was taught to you and that was taught to your parents, parents and your parents, parents and your parents, parents, parents, it's like you gotta, you gotta ask yourself, is this really working for me? And for me it just wasn't. I bought into that system and it created this fear based programming. And now that I know what I know about the way we develop our conscious and subconscious mind, I know that for anyone to keep you in a fear based system, it's for their empowerment and not. And not for the betterment of all. And for me, I'm always looking for the best for everyone. I don't. And I believe if you look at the base of every religion, it's the same. Love your brother as yourself. Love your brother as yourself. That's how you serve the all that is.
So yeah, just, it's that openness. I think if you just stay cracked open a little bit to the more that wants to come through you or the, the purpose of your life path, which was my goal. You know, I knew that I had gone through all that all those horrible things for a purpose. And because of that, I allowed myself to stay open to what was next for me.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: How do you empower women to reclaim their identities and foster deeper emotional connections with themselves and others?
[00:32:07] Speaker A: I mean, it's like this constant asking, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Kind of like what you were saying earlier, being so tuned into your own desires. It's like most the time as human beings, we do not even consider asking ourselves what we want.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:32:26] Speaker A: Right. And so especially as women, like, we're the caretaker for our kids, we take care of the home. We have our own career. Lots of us, we do all these things. We have wear all these freaking hats. And most women, I don't know men. So it's probably the same with men too. But it's like, you get to this place where you're like, for me, you know, as soon as I hit 40, stuff started shift. I'm like, I feel like I'm going through a midlife crisis. Dm. But it's like to just start asking yourself. I feel like that's the point where a lot of us start to ask ourselves, like, what do I want? What do I want? What do I want? And that's what I'm constantly doing for my clients. And you would just be so shocked at the look on their face when I first ask them. And they're like, I don't even know.
Like, I don't know. Right. And we.
Right. So we get to ask ourselves, like, what we want.
And we get to ask ourselves why we're doing the things that we're doing. Because chances are we're not doing them to serve ourselves. We're doing them to serve everyone but ourself. And that's not going to get you the expansion and growth that you really desire, because you came here with a purpose. And I believe our desires is really what's opening those doorways to knowing our purpose. Like, for me, it was healing myself. I was so obsessed with healing my terrible ways of being. Like, I just. I felt so broken. And I was constantly looking for some way to help myself. Well, who would have thought when I. When I found the things that really worked for me is like, oh, I gotta get. I gotta get this out there. Like, I gotta get the world. I got to get the word out there that there is something out there that can really help people live a better life, to feel better in their skin, to create this peace that I didn't even know existed. This State of like, peace that I have within my mind, within my way of being. It's like that all unfolded for me by me following my own desires. And if we all did that, I think we would fall into our life purpose and we would. Would feel so massively fulfilled that we wouldn't be looking to retire. We'd be like, what's next? Like, exactly. Here's another fun rabbit hole I get to go down. Like, I don't ever want to retire.
[00:34:56] Speaker B: So I was in a group and a group of people, and it was like a psychology exploratory sort of group. And part of that group was we'd got up and we'd been told by the group session holder to walk around and talk to each other. And we'd say a statement that we just made up. And if it was something we agree with, we could say yes. And we'd like run around, do all positive things for each other, and then we'd say all negative things to each other to elicit a no. But then what happened was we would find that by doing that, we actually really discovered what in our bodies and our full understanding was a yes and a no. That helps. It helped us all to understand then what our desires were when it comes to how we framed a yes and no in our whole system.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: Oh, that's so good. Yeah, you could also. Yeah, you could also test your body.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: A good way to test yourself is like pushing down on your knee. You hold your, like, leg up like, or you could have someone like, pull your arm down and if you make a statement and then push down, if, if it's a no, it goes down real fast. And if it's a yes, you hold firm. Yeah. Muscle testing. Exactly. Yeah, that's beautiful. But, yeah, just to get you in the habit of asking yourself, it's like, here you came to this life for whatever reason you. You came. And it's like, how many of us wake up and say, what the efforty f am I doing? Like, am I even doing what I came here to do? Like, am I. Am I on the path that I chose before? Like, like I said, I choose to believe that we chose before we came here. I don't think we come and just say, oh, let's see what happens this time around. I believe that we really come with the idea that we're going to wake up and remember who we are and come into the knowledge of what we came here to do this specific time.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that totally. Yeah. So what other tools do you know that and practices that you recommend for cultivating emotional resilience.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: Emotional resilience. Well, first of all, let's get in touch with our emotions for one. I find that people are.
They first of all view their emotions as bad. Oh, these are the bad ones, these are the good ones. Let's not feel the anger, let's suppress the pain.
Do you have a question there? You. I see you. You look like you're. Oh, okay. It's like, especially for men, you guys have been talked out of your certain emotions so heavily that I find that you guys like have a real hard time connecting to pain specifically.
So it's very masks for women. They get very disconnected from things like anger in the body. Pain too. Some women, pain too. But it's like we're so disconnected from our, our pain that we just want to protect la la la. It's not there. We are just in some sort of la la land pretending like we don't have all this pain stored within us when that pain anchors us into all the, all the crap that we don't want, right? And so as we first of all plug into our emotions and say none of these are intrinsically bad or good. They all just are trying to give me a message. It's just a message. Your emotions, it's the same thing with like pain in the body. The pain in your body is giving you a message. Don't take some sort of band aid of a medication that's going to mute the message it's trying to give you go into the pain and saying, what would you like me to know?
Because a lot of times there's so much resentment in that human being that the pain is sounding lupus.
All these, all these like diseases that are, that have continuous pain like on a daily basis, all day, every day. All that's doing your body is saying, hey, we got an issue here. Hey, you're not looking. Ah, hello.
It's just getting louder and louder because you're not listening to the subtleties of the emotion. And then it manifests in full blown disease. And you're trying to say your body has an issue. Your body does not have an issue. Your body is so freaking brilliant and it's trying to let you know in every way that it can that there's an emotion trapped in there that you get to look at. And once you do, all the pain goes away. So like when I'm working with people and they'll be like, yeah, this went away, that I no longer have this pain and I'm like, It's exactly how it works. Because your emotion is tied to everything in your life. Everything.
So by you trying to pretend it's not there or by saying it's terrible or whatever, you're really missing a great opportunity to utilize the emotion for the reason you have it, which is to let you know what it. Where you're going.
It's your compass. Yeah, it's your compass. It's beautiful. It's wonderful. Every emotion that you experience is an absolute gift. And once you start to understand the way that it is, what it's trying to tell you, you will no longer see it as the enemy because it.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Can tell you so much.
That's wild.
Looking ahead, what are your hopes for the future of your coaching practice and the women you support?
[00:40:45] Speaker A: My hope is that a lot of people break themsel free out of the matrix, out of this delusion that they can't have everything that they want, out of this idea that, that they haven't created it all, out of this idea that they're powerless.
My goal is to wake up the earth and say, hey, we all chose this. We all did it for a reason. And let's, you know, let's join hands and join forces and, and really heal ourselves. Heal our lineage. For any, you know, with a lot of moms, they're so selfless that they won't heal for their own sake. And I tell them, heal for your kids because this is a lineage thing.
You inherited all your parents pain on the moment of conception, all mom's DNA and dad's DNA. Boop. Get dropped down into your system. All their pain, all their trauma, all their crap. Some. They're good stuff too. We can keep that around. But everything that they carried with them back seven generations on both sides, it all gets downloaded into you.
If you do nothing to try and sift through and see what you want to take with you and not. What we do is we perpetuate the patterns. That was a huge part of my. My experience too is when I saw that I was perpetuating the patterns, the really ugly patterns that I had adopted. That's when I said, no, I'm not going to take these three beautiful daughters of mine and throw them into the crap that I had to go through. I will not do that. I'm healing myself. So if you don't do it for you, do it for your kids, do it for the future. Because each person that wakes up and says, I choose to heal, I'll be one of the brave ones. I know, I know. Beautiful people it is hard, it's uncomfortable, it's not always fun, but, God, it's so worth it. And, you know, I have the beautiful opportunity to see the before and after of, like, all the damage I did to my kids when I was in an unconscious state and then who they get to be today because I woke up and chose to do my inner work. It's like I get this blessed vantage point of saying, this is what we're doing it for. We're doing it so we can. We don't have to pass on all the terrible shame, horrid guilt, all the, all the trauma and drama and pain. We don't have to pass it down.
We don't have to. So really, the young ones, when I, when I get a. A young person, come to me, I'm just like, thank you so much for taking this step. Like, the world thanks you. I thank you so much because you're doing this, you're doing this for everyone. And if we took that as like our great inheritance, like, shit, we would just.
We would just have a really beautiful world, wouldn't we?
[00:43:57] Speaker B: For sure. For sure.
Perfect message.
Tammy, we're coming towards the end of the podcast now. So how do people find you?
[00:44:08] Speaker A: Well, the, the fastest, easiest way is probably through my link tree, which I can provide you. It's link tree, slash. Tammy Cox, I'm. If you have just a question you want to connect with me for, for that you can reach out to me on Instagram. My email's on there. If you are considering doing your inner work and you want to reach out to me, you could also schedule a one on one discovery call, see if you might be a good fit for any of my programs.
I put out a lot of free content pretty much on all my platforms, so you'll find them all in link tree.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: Nice. I'll provide that in the show notes. And I want to thank you so much for sharing so deeply of your understanding of the process of inner child healing and trauma and how it affects us all. Very, very good messages you have there. Thank you so much.
[00:45:02] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you for having me. You're a great.
You. You hold space so nicely. Your warm presence, cj, you, you just really hold a space really beautifully.
[00:45:13] Speaker B: Thanks. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.
All right, I'll just say goodbye to the listeners.
It was great to hear Tammy's understanding of deep trauma and how it's all connected. And she described it as being like commands, like, as a cluster of, like, you could even say, like a cluster of a time scar. You could say it causes all sorts of distortions to your understanding and distortions to your reactions in life. But when you iron those out, it's all released and then life gets better.
It's such a good show. I've really enjoyed that talk. And if you've enjoyed that talk and you like what I do to encourage me to keep on going, it'd be really nice. If you like and subscribed. If you're on YouTube and if you're not on YouTube and you're on a podcast app, the nicest way to do that is to give me five stars.
That's a very simple thing to do.
Do that right now. I'd really appreciate it.
And another thing you could do too is if you think somebody would really enjoy this show and you'd like to let them know about it, just share it. Share it on social media, share it on Facebook, share it on Twitter, share it on WhatsApp, share it on Telegram, share it on anything you can imagine. Just share it. Share it to everyone. That'd be really nice and I really appreciate your time for listening. And until next episode, it's bye for now.
Sa.
