Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Everybody's different. You can't be the same. You got to meet people where they are based on their life experience and based on their challenges and their specific things. So mainly, if they just open up to me, it's such an easy healing can be a really quick process, and that's a big no no to say, like in the world of psychology. But what I have noticed is energetic shifts are a really quick process.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Welcome to supernormalize, the podcast, where we challenge the conventional break boundaries and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, CJ Barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life experience. Each episode, I'm blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you're looking to upgrade your life, you've come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe, and I'll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners, if you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge that you'd love to share, reach out to me at supernormalizedroton me. Let's together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual. What it really is completely normal. Today on supernormalized, we are hosting Mary Beth Schroeder. She's a former corporate professional who battled alcohol addiction while raising children alone and dedicated her life to becoming a spiritual life coach.
Mary Beth shares her understanding of addiction, and her main one was alcohol. And she also explains that she also did have a bit of a phone addiction as well, which is very interesting and how she actually got through that after she had a major spiritual awakening. So it's a very good story. But she also goes so deep into her understanding of addiction that it's one of those ones that make you go, oh, maybe I'm addicted, I don't know. Well, anyway, I really enjoyed this talk, and I'm sure you will too. So on with the show.
Welcome to supernormalized Mary Beth Schroeder. Mary Beth, you've had quite a challenging life when you were younger. Lots of childhood trauma and challenges with growing up. Do you want to go through that first and then get into how that changed you? Welcome to the show.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: Thank you. I appreciate your invitation. I'm very happy to be here.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Right.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: So, yeah, starting with childhood, I definitely had some trauma there going on, and this is a lot of people do. I think a lot of people have trauma and just don't even recognize it, but my parents were divorced when I was five. It left me with a lot of anxiety. My dad was absent. We were left with these neighbors who pretty much neglected us. So that left me with kind of like an anxious attachment style, you know, to everything. I also. I've always was really, really sensitive as a child, sensitive to other people's energies. And I always was sensitive to the spiritual realms, too, like, even when I was really little. And I think a lot of people are, especially when they're children, but it's. We're talked out of it, right? And it's like just your imagination, and you can sense when things are things or beings are with you. And that gave me a lot of anxiety, too. So I just had all of these sensitivities, and I didn't know what an empath was back then. Like, that's something that I learned in my thirties, what an empath was, which means you can pick up on energies, other people's feelings. So when you're younger, you don't really realize that's why you're freaking out, like, in a crowd of people, like, because you're feeling all of their feelings, too. And now I have ways as an adult where I can protect myself from that. I know how to block it out. But, yeah, as a child, I really didn't. So with, you know, my. The anxiety from my parents divorce, the neglect and all of that, being hungry a lot, I got a lot of addictions, and I. I think a lot of addictions are born from childhood trauma, actually. And we just might not recognize that until later on as adults, in retrospect. So, like, the food addiction was from not having a lot to eat when I was a kid. And my mom, by the way, my mom didn't know this.
She left us and trusted the neighbors that we were with, right? She didn't realize we were being neglected. She's paying them to take care of us, and they just weren't. And you're a kid, you don't know. You don't know how things were supposed to be. I had nothing to compare it to. It was just how my life was. So the food addiction, toxic relationships, became a thing because of my anxious attachment style from the abandonment wounds, right, that I had and not having the father figure there. And then as I got older, very, very young, I went on vacation with a girlfriend and her family, and they were pretty lenient. And what happened was they left all this alcohol sitting out on the counter of this condo that we were staying at. And we were just like, let's. We're idiots, you know, we're eleven. We're like, let's try this. And we mixed a bunch up and I was like, oh, my goodness, this was the best thing ever for me. Like, which is a huge red flag. That's a huge red flag, right? Because it was the first time in my life that I didn't feel anxious, because I always had the separation anxiety every time my mom left the house because, like, my dad can leave, so that means my mom can leave too. You know, I'm a kid. I don't know. And so, like, I just felt amazing.
And the better you feel when you have your first drink, that's like, like I said, I called it a red flag for a reason. That's an indicator that you might end up developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol later on in life. So I didn't become a regular drinker at that time, but that's definitely when the addiction began. And I did become a regular drinker by age 14, you know, out my friend. I think that's, I don't know how uncommon that is. I grew up in the seventies, so I'm 50 now. And I think back in the seventies too, with all that anxiety and all that stuff. We just, that's kind of how things were. Like, there. We weren't like, oh, let's take her to a therapist, you know, or something like that. Although my brother, he didn't handle things as well. He was two years younger than I was. He ends up in like a mental ward, children's. For a while he was suicidal, so they did put him. And then my sister ends up later divorcing the entire family. We haven't talked to her for a long time, but, yeah, everybody reacts differently. I was the middle child that kind of got into trouble all the time. That was what I did for, for many, many years, was the. The black sheep.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: Yeah, no, look, I can understand that. I myself as a youngster, got lost in marijuana for very similar reasons. You know, I grew up in a pretty much similar sort of situation. Turned, like, they call them latchkey kids, you know?
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: You come home from school and no parents around, do what the hell you want. Right.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: We raised ourselves. Yeah. But like, when, at five years old, it was too young. And like, my brother was only three, and it turned out they weren't even paying attention to him at all as a three year old, which really messed him up. And I don't even remember, like, because I was so young, I don't remember him being around, and I was like, where did they put him? I still don't know what happened to him to this day. Like, he said it was really bad, but it's not something that he talks about, if that makes sense.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that's rough.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: He has some issues. I mean, he's okay now. He's not suicidal. He's okay. But, yeah, I mean, a lot of what are we doing with addictions? We're trying to. With your marijuana and with my alcohol and food and relationship, we're trying to numb ourselves. We're trying to escape reality, fill a void. All of these reasons, you know? So I feel like I did all of the above.
[00:08:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we do these things to pretty much, like you said, as soon as you discover that sort of relief of that stress, you do it as a relief from the stress. You just. But you don't know you're stressed. That's the thing too, right? You just.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: Until it was gone. Exactly. It's like, wow. Like, this was amazing to feel this uninhibited. And also, like, a lot of us start drinking or smoking marijuana because we are. Have social anxiety, too. It's a social lubricant. Right.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: I see it.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: And in the United States, it's glamorized. Like, it's completely normal. And even as an adult, I didn't even recognize how unhealthy my relationship with alcohol was, is because I'm comparing myself to all my friends and everybody. Like, we all drink. It wasn't like I'm sitting there drinking by myself. It was just every day, though, we would go to happy hour, so we call it happy hour after work, and it felt like a reward. You know, I was in corporate world back then, and it was just what we did, and it was fun. But the truth is, is if you're needing to do that every day, there's a reason, like, you shouldn't have to numb yourself every day and escape your reality every single day. That's an indicator that there's something that, you know, and you feel like shit, too, you know, like when you drink every day. Yeah. And that's another thing, is the first time I did, like, a 30 day break from it, I was like, oh, my goodness. I didn't know I could feel that good because I'd never given myself that long, and I didn't quit after that first time. But it was a good step towards the journey of being alcohol free, which I've been alcohol free for five years now.
A little over five years.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: Congratulations. That's fantastic.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: Yeah, isn't it?
[00:10:32] Speaker A: No one would have ever thought I'd quit.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: Isn't it amazing when you give up, though, how much more memory capacity you get and, like, alertness and clarity towards events and things around you? It's like. But you don't know that until you stop.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: It's so amazing. And that's what I want people to know is, like, it's never too late to turn your life around. And I didn't have a rock bottom. I had kind of a dark night of the soul, you know, where? Because it was so scary when. Because addiction has nothing to do with intelligence. Like, I know I'm an intelligent person. I'm very logical, rational, even though I'm also of this combination of woo woo. I'm all believe in magic, and I've had spiritually transformative experiences. I've lived in a haunted house, but I'm still very rational and logical, practical person on top of that. And I know that I'm intelligent, and I'm like, why can't I quit? Because for a long time, it was this huge struggle. I actually had this energetic, spiritual shift is that's when I actually quit.
I think a lot of times when we get stuck, it's because we're still in that old vibration, that old identity, and we really need to have that energetic shift, or else we're just white knuckling it, you know? Like, we're really still that old vibration. And I'm not against AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, I'm not against it. But for me, it was not good. It actually kept me in that old vibration. Like, I only went a couple of times, and I was like, this is depressing. It made me want to drink. And I know a lot of other people are like this, too. And it's because you're in your old story. You're in the old identity. You're saying, I am an alcoholic, and I don't ever say that. Like, you haven't heard me say that. Because I said I'm someone who had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but I don't anymore, right? Because that's that old identity that I don't. I'm no longer the person who's gonna go out every night and drink. I'm just not that person anymore. So I don't identify as that person. So that keeps you stuck in your old vibration. And my beliefs are of. I've been into law of attraction. I teach law of attraction since 2006. So I'm like, that's my belief system is to tell the new story. Everything's energy. So if we're putting it out there, that old vibration out there, we're going to keep it in our, like, our field, our energetic field. And so it's just no longer who I am.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. You don't need to actually relive that story by labeling, but it works for some people.
[00:12:57] Speaker A: Alcoholic, alcoholic anonymous, AA works for some people, and they should use whatever tool works for them. I'm not putting it down at all. I really think, like, whatever works. I'm a big whatever works person.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: Nice. Nice.
So you're going through all the stresses of life as a youth, and you're found. You found your way out of it by changing yourself. What happened?
[00:13:22] Speaker A: Well, you know, like, I really, I became a life coach before I quit drinking. I, like, when I said it was a secret that I was battling this alcohol addiction, it was a secret to myself, too. I really didn't realize how bad it was was just because, like I said earlier, I compared myself to people, and everyone's doing it. It's really hard to tell. You have a problem. And I would, you know, just, you get used to feeling like crap. And what happened was it started to really affect my sleep a lot, and I didn't know it was the alcohol. I didn't put two and two together. I blamed everything on my hormones, everything, because it didn't really affect me till my forties. And in this really negative way to where I couldn't have sleep. And what it turns out, I read this book, really good book. If anyone's kind of sober, curious, and thinking, hmm, maybe alcohol is affecting me in a negative way, too. Maybe I should look into this. It's called alcohol explained by William Porter. And it's a book filled with stuff you can't unknow. So once you read it, you make sure, like, make sure you probably want to, you think you want to quit, because once you know this stuff, it really took away my peace from being able to drink and enjoy it anymore because it really is called alcohol explained, and it really explains all of the science behind what it's doing to us and doing to our body.
And basically, the sleep factor is it's science. Alcohol is a depressant.
Our bodies are doing a very normal thing by creating stimulants to counteract that depressant. So what's going on here is after you're about four or 5 hours after your last drink, you don't have that depressant in your body anymore, and you're left with all the stimulants. So a lot of people are like, and it didn't happen till my forties. Like, but I'm up in the middle of the night with my heart racing, my mind racing. Nothing bad happened. I didn't do anything stupid or wrong or, you know, but I would. It still left you with all this anxiety, and that's. That's just because your body creates these stimulants, and then the alcohol wears off, and all. That's all you can feel. And so it was just. I didn't know that was the alcohol. I was, like I said, I was blaming my hormones. Once I learned that, I realized, wow. And then moderation stops working also, because, like, let's say you pick a night where I only had one glass of wine, okay, no big deal. Well, my body creates the stimulants during the first drink. So, like, it's going to create, like, well, maybe I had a bottle the other day. It's going to still create. It's going to prepare for your. You're going to have a bottle, and it doesn't know. It creates all those stimulants. So moderation doesn't work when it comes to having that anxiety in the middle of the night, waking you up and being overstimulated to where you can't get back to sleep. And I was already a life coach. Like, I had to feel good. I needed to be my best, and I just was not living in integrity. And I actually added on an addiction recovery niche for my life coaching. And that's when I learned. Oh, my gosh. Because I think a lot of us aren't really aware what addiction is. And I'm reading this, and I'm like, this sounds like me. Not only with alcohol, but with food and relationships. Like, basically anything that you feel like might be affecting your life in a negative way, but you can't stop. I mean, that's an addiction. And I'm sitting there trying to quit, and it was so hard, and I just think that it just was awareness, just knowledge, you know, reading these, that's when I read the books, you know? Cause I'm getting my certifications for addiction recovery, and I was just learning about it, and I just had. I'm a self aware person, you know, I'm like, okay. You know, I had to admit, you know, I was out of denial. You could no longer deny it at that point.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Wild.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: Can you share some pivotal moments in your life that led you away from your corporate work towards becoming a coach.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Sure. Well, you know, I'm going to go back a little bit to when I was 18 years old and I had a spiritually transformative experience. And I. It's not really. Well, I do think in retrospect, it was part of the unfolding that led me where I was, but I didn't understand what was happening at the time. But I've always been a spiritual seeker. I always. I was just kind of born just knowing, like I said, like knowing the spirit realm was real. I always was very in tune with it and always was reading books about it. And when I was 18, I was reading this book, I got into near death experiences, like, really into near death experiences. And I'm just reading all these books. And as I was reading this one, and I was completely sober, it wasn't anything like that, but it triggered this, like, experience, this spiritual experience. And it lasted for two weeks. I kind of call it a quantum experience. And so when I was 18, this was like 1993. There was no Internet, anything like that. I didn't know what in the heck was going on. So what do we do? I go to library. I go to bookstores. So that's all we had. I'm talking to my friends, and everybody I'm talking to thinks I'm crazy, and I'm trying to tell them what's going on. It was kind of like that. It was kind of like having a near death experience, except I was still in my body. I was able to see. I was shown how everything was connected through this electromagnetic field, how we're all connected. And it was pure love, pure bliss. So I looked like I was cuckoo for cocoa puffs when I'm trying to tell people about it because everyone else is just living in their three d. And I felt like, have you heard of 5D? Reality? Like 3D. Okay, so I feel like now that I've heard that term, I was living in 5D for two weeks. That's what I think now, because now that I know that term, but back then, I didn't know what the hell that was. And I felt like I was just connected to this higher universal knowledge. I was tapped in. I would think of a question and get the answer. Like, it was just all this connected to. It was crazy and so hard to explain because there aren't words for it. Like pure joy, pure bliss. I'm on the highest frequencies possible.
So over the two weeks, like at the end, I started to slowly come down in frequency. Come down in frequency. Back to slam, back to 3d. Physical reality, which was just awful because of the contrast, because you're up here and then you're slammed to the ground back down in this, you know, 3D, which is very dense and very, you know, painful when you compare it to the bliss and beautiful feelings and of the being of those higher frequencies. And it got really depressing. Honestly, it got quite depressing. And I didn't have anyone to connect with like these days, if it happened. And by the way, it's very common. It's common. I've not heard many with two weeks long, but it's these spiritually. They've coined a term now, spiritually transformative experience.
People are afraid to talk about it because you sound like a whackadoo. But I do think it's very common now that we have the Internet, you could find a tribe. So if it happened today, it would have been much different. But back. My 18 year old self was not able to integrate this experience well into my life because I didn't have any guidance. I didn't know what happened, I didn't know what it was. So my 18 year old brain was like, gosh, I don't feel connected to anybody anymore. And I was so incredibly connected last week or whatever. So what do I do is I'm like, well, the only way I can feel even sort of connected to people is drinking alcohol. So I got worse. So. And that's the thing is there's a lot of, well, that's. What's that saying?
Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. Yeah. So it's like, people don't talk about that. Like, what do you do after the fact? It was a beautiful experience, and I think it was a setup for me being a spiritual life coach because I had experienced that to really be able to, like, I embodied it. It wasn't just reading it in a book, I was in it. I was in this reality that was completely different. So I think being, giving that, it was a gift, you know, that I was able to embody that. And what I almost feel like happened is my soul remembered as I was reading that book.
This is like the amnesia that we, we're born into this incarnation with amnesia. It was like the amnesia wore off. I was like, oh, yeah, this is how it really is. This is the stuff that we. I was. And I remember I was able to understand quantum physics and shit like that. But these, these days, I can't. Like, I'm still intrigued by it, but it was like a knowing when I was in that state right. And now it's like, oh, I remember being able to understand it, like, so perfectly at one time, but I believe it's in my subconscious somewhere. Right. But, yeah, so that was a setup. That was a setup. Fast forward. So I have a 21 year old son now, and I divorced. I left his dad when it was a toxic relationship when Spencer was only three. And when he was five, we had moved into this house that turned out to be a haunted house. So that was another time where just this thrown into this. It was the craziest paranormal activity. Like, so many things happened. I could get into detail, or I could not. But that was another thing that I was freaking scared when we lived there. And I drank more, not knowing there are spiritual consequences of drinking alcohol, especially if you're in a haunted house. Right? Because, like, alcohol is a lower vibrational substance. So you're lowering your vibration, you're making your aura weak. And I was inviting more of it and making things much worse, and I was more fearful, and that fear invites it. And it was crazy. I had so many psychics, so many mediums who would, you know, try to help me with this house. And they're like, this is energy vortex. Like, this house is on an energy vortex to where, like, it's not just, like, one spirit or two spirit. Like, it was, like, too much for.
We tried everything to calm down these spirits there. And my son was actually able to, because we had cell phones. This was, like, 2008. There were cell phones, and my son would take pictures, and he would say, I want to see 13 orbs there. And he'd take a picture. They would do whatever he said, like, okay, now I want to see five now. You know? And they had faces in the orbs. They were just everywhere.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:23:30] Speaker A: And, yeah, and there was a lady who. She's no longer alive, but one of my friends told me about her. She could actually draw the energy of houses, and she didn't live in our state, but she just said, give me the address. She drew it, and she drew exactly where all the activity was happening. I had a dog at the time.
Gunnar was, like, this yellow lab who was extremely happy, and he was not happy in that house. He was freaking out all the time, just in one room, and he would not leave that room. And it's interesting because when the lady drew the picture, that was the one safe room that there wasn't a lot of activity. And no wonder he chose to stay there. And, yeah, so there was that. I had a cat, too. My cat's always looking like he's watching a light show all the time, like just constant. And he moved with me when we. We didn't even last there a year. We had to get out of there. But he moved with me and it wasn't like that anymore. But I still get activity because once you're essentially. I have so many friends who are psychic. I've grown up around psychics every single time I get moved somewhere and get a best friend. Oh, guess what? They're a medium. It's not shocking, right? Attract each other, but, um, yeah, so basically, once you're open like that, you just attract that activity. Like, you can't. It's really no way of turning it off. It's just part of your energy. So I still will get things in my house, but it's nothing like that. Like, it wasn't like an energy vortex where it was constant activity, like crazy paranormal activity 24/7 like, it was. I don't think I slept for a year.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: Wow, that sounds wild.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: But it made me drink a lot more. That's my point. Like, because I was, like, freaking out, like, every day. I was. It was scary to live there, and I had to get my son out of there, and I had to get the animals out of there.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Wow, that's intense.
Rolling back to your experience, though, I've got a question. Was there anything going on in your life at that time, or is there anything that you think that could have precipitated that experience?
[00:25:32] Speaker A: You know what? That is a great question. And I had graduated high school. My parents had moved to Oklahoma. I was in Houston, Texas. Like, I stayed there by myself. I was alone for the first time. Like, you know, I just. I really am not sure if it was anything outside of just reading that book and remembering. Like, I'm not sure. There wasn't any catalyst that I can recall other, you know, unless it was just being on my own. And, I mean, I was kind of always on my own anyway, so. I don't know, it's just that they all moved to a different state, though.
Hmm. I really think it was just reading that book and just, like, striking a memory, a soul memory.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Which book was that again?
[00:26:18] Speaker A: It was a book on near death experiences. I'm trying to remember the name of it.
Saved by the light, I believe. Saved by the light, but opened up. Yeah. To open me up. Yeah. And it was like I said, it was more like remembering things I already knew instead of learning, like, our souls already know this stuff.
It was just like, I remembered it. But, yeah, I think that's like all of this stuff that happened kept growing my addiction, but it's all for a purpose. The way everything unfold is like, I had to go through the struggle of addiction. I had to go through the denial and then waking up to the fact that I'm addicted, because that's what, that's how I can help other people through it. Like, I don't know that I wouldn't. I couldn't help people really, because if I didn't go through it myself, everything that I teach in my coaching is stuff I've gone through and experienced personally. And even though I have the education to back it up, I'm going to be honest with you. The life experience was way more valuable than the education from the books.
Way more valuable.
[00:27:28] Speaker B: So what does your spiritual experience, how does your, so I should say, how does your spiritual experience inform your coaching methods now?
[00:27:37] Speaker A: Well, I think a lot of it is just really knowing that we're all connected is so important in everything that we do. Like, when I'm, like, when I'm with a client and I'm able to share that stuff, I pretty much guess who I'm attracting. I'm attracting spiritual clients. So, like, it opens them up when I tell my story.
And that if we know that we're all connected, we're gonna really be more careful about our thoughts and our feelings and our actions, how we treat other people. It's just so important. And that's like a lot of the law of attraction work. That attraction to that work happened because of that experience, because I was able to see the electromagnetic, the energetic field of how we're all connected and how much we don't get away with anything. Even those little things that we think don't matter in life are really. Sometimes it's those smaller things that matter more in life. You know, like being kind to, like that one time that we weren't kind to our grandmother. That's something like that. It could be a huge thing, and we're thinking these other events in our life are bigger, but sometimes it's those little things that really, really affect people so much more. And when we have near death, the near death experiences, when people have the life reviews, that's what they do, is they feel the other people's feelings, like that they caused. So they're in the, when you go through your life review, you're on the other side of it. You actually have to feel the feelings that you caused other people during your lifetime. And it's not a punishment, it's just a learning experience. That's how you learn. Like, okay, well, I shouldn't have. That wasn't really good. And, you know, I don't want to. I want to try harder to be a. It's our soul evolution, it's soul growth. So the law of attraction stuff is, is really what helped me get out of the addictions and that's what I like to teach people is because once we're aware of. So first of all, everything's energy for anyone who's listening, who's not into law of attraction, it's not a religion.
I did a podcast yesterday and he's like, oh, I'm not into law of attraction. I'm a Buddhist. That's not a religion. Like, it doesn't matter what you believe, it's. That's like saying, I don't believe in the law of gravity, right? Like, it's still happening. It's just, it just more science, it's more quantum physics. Like, it's energy. Like, everything's energy. We're all energetically connected and we have so much more control over our life and how our day goes when we, when we realize that, like, oh, my gosh. Our thoughts and our feelings. Our feelings are more important than our thoughts when it comes to attracting and deliberately creating our life. To intentionally creating our life instead of just living it by default. Like, a lot of people just don't realize how much control we have over each day. So a lot of my coaching is helping people with that. We get rid of the limiting beliefs, subconscious beliefs that are in our programming that people can't see themselves. But it's easy, like, for me to see in them. I'm an intuitive coach. It's easier for me to see. It's the hardest thing for anyone to see is themselves, right? So it's always better to get some guidance. And with the law of attraction, when people think it doesn't work, oh, it doesn't work. I've tried it because there's a lot of myths and misconceptions about it. It's really like all of our, we all have a different point of attraction. So like a set point. And my point of attraction, your point of attraction, it's going to be totally different because it's based on all of our childhood experiences and beliefs that we've ever had from birth. So that's part one, part two is going to be our momentum on a certain subject. So we could have a different momentum with relationships, with our health, with, like, it could be money. Money's a good one like we have a different relationship with on a different subject. So that momentum on a subject. And then the third part is, how do you feel right now? What's your current vibration? So that's a huge.
That's different. You can see how it's so different for everybody because you had different programming and beliefs than I had. Right.
So really, once we bring all that subconscious stuff into our conscious mind where we can change it and heal it, because by definition, we're not aware of our subconscious thought. So a lot of my coaching is getting into that, figuring out what are these limiting beliefs. We know, like most people have this I'm not worthy thing, which everybody's worthy. And so that's. Or they think, oh, I believe that can work for other people, but not for me. We're all capable, we're all equal. We can all do this. Everybody can change their life. And it's never too late. Never too late to change your life. Did I answer your question?
[00:32:13] Speaker B: I think so.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: I forgot what it was. I think it was about. Yeah, I think it was about mainly the energy and learning all that stuff. Yeah. Because you asked about the spiritually transformed experience. When I saw that embodied it firsthand, that definitely got me interested in the law of attraction, which then I really got into starting 2006 and been dealing with. And, you know, honestly, once I realized I had that addiction with alcohol, once I got out of denial, I couldn't keep it because I didn't have that inner peace with it anymore and I couldn't, I knew I was self sabotaging and I knew too much about the law of attraction to keep self sabotaging, because it's all about setting each day up for success, right?
Getting a good night's sleep. And once I realized, oops, it was alcohol that was doing that to me, guess what? My insomnia gone. Like, it went away immediately. Because I didn't have insomnia. I had. My body was creating stimulants to counteract the alcohol it was drinking. So that was a big mythbuster right there.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: Well, that's healthy wisdom as well.
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: How do you help clients address both past trauma and current challenges? I mean, you did talk about the law of attraction. Do you use any other methods?
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Yeah, honestly, each session. It's funny because when I first started being a life coach, I thought, I'm going to do this in session one and this, in session two and this. And, you know, that's not how it ends up working at all, especially as an intuitive life coach. And we really believe I believe. I won't speak for anybody else. I believe that everyone has their own internal guidance system. We all have a direct connection with God. We all have our higher selves, our inner being, being, whatever you want to call it. And I really see myself just as a guide, like, working as a partner with them and as vulnerable as they can be with me. That's as quickly as they're going to heal. Like, the more vulnerable, the more they can share with me, so I can help them better. And not everybody's going to do that at the same speed. And it's interesting, too, is because I have clients. I've had clients as young as 14 year old, up to 56 year old. Like, right now. That's just my current thing right now is 14 to 56. So I'm saying I would take older and I would take younger, probably, but everybody's different. You can't be the same. You got to meet people where they are based on their life experience and based on their challenges and their specific things. So, mainly, if they just open up to me, it's just such an easy healing can be a really quick process. And that's a big no no to say, like, in the world of psychology. But what I have noticed is energetic shifts are a really quick process. Once I had mine, I was done with alcohol. Like, I knew that. I knew that. I knew that, I knew that. I knew I was done. Like, there was a shift that I hadn't had before. The other times, I tried to quit. So that's what I mean by it can be very quick. When you. When. When you have the spirit, when you're doing the spiritual work, it can be very quick. That's why I call myself a spiritual life coach, because it actually changes your energy. It's a transformation more than just talking. Do you know what I mean?
[00:35:16] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you explain how your deck of cards works in facilitating recovery?
[00:35:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. So, basically, I have them right here. Addiction recovery with the law of attraction. So these were very interesting because I was out.
Do you know who Abraham Hicks is? Do you ever listen to Abraham Hicks?
[00:35:38] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: Okay. So I was. I was out listening. I mean, I wasn't listening to Abraham, but I have listened to Abraham a lot. And I was just out walking my dog one day. And the reason I brought that up is because Abraham calls it being in the vortex. So I was. I could tell I was in the vortex. That's being in the highest frequencies, which I could also say that about my spiritually transformative experience. Maybe I was in the vortex for two weeks, but this, I was out walking my dog, beautiful sunny day. My mind was actually chatter free, which you could probably tell would be unusual for someone like me. I've got a lot of energy.
My mind was chatter free, and that is called receiving mode. So I was in this mode where I was able to receive an idea, receive inspiration, and I did. I was just like, not thinking and just feeling really high vibe. And I received this download to do these cards. And I know how it works. That means, hey, if you receive a download, if you receive inspiration and it feels really good to you, act on it. You have to take action. There is no law of attraction without taking action. So many people make that mistake. They think they can just sit around and think positive thoughts and things are just going to flow into their lives. No, you have to take action. The universe loves action. And I knew enough to get started on these cards right away, but yeah, it's, the whole thing came in as almost like this huge download and, but it took a year to make them. This was in 2020 during the lockdown and all this stuff. But I had to have the specific artist. Like, I loved her artwork and she had never heard of law of attraction, but I was able to just explain to her what I wanted. On each card, there's 44 cards in each deck. Each, each card explains, it's got law of attraction knowledge on it and directions for the day. So someone's going to pick one card each morning and follow the instructions. And it's just, it's just a, it's spiritual, spiritual stuff. It's learning about law of attraction. It's giving your, starting your day in a positive way and shifting your energy, raising your vibration, because a lot of this is raising your vibration. When you get in this higher frequency, it kind of starts to, you don't have that void. You don't feel that need to numb out anymore. So that's what the cards, the intention behind the cards is to raise your vibration. And then it also teaches people law of attraction. There's so many myths out there, like that one where it's like, what did I just say? Like where you, oh, you don't have to do anything. You can just attract things and sit on your meditation cushion and it'll just flow to you. And that's not how it works at all. And another myth that I really want to bring up, because it was life changing for me when I learned this, because it was the one thing I'm like, this doesn't make sense. I just couldn't connect the dots with this.
We don't only attract what we are. But I didn't know that for a long time. I was like, why do I keep attracting these narcissists and liars and cheaters? Because I'm not a narcissist and I'm not a liar and a cheater. But why do I keep. It was making me question myself, am I a narcissist? I don't know it, because I kept attracting this into my life. If I'm a law of attraction traction person, I gotta. I gotta take. I gotta be like, hmm. Take accountability for this. Right. Well, what I found out from Greg Braden. Do you know who Greg Braden is?
[00:38:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:57] Speaker A: Okay, so he did this. Amazing. It's. It's an old video on YouTube. Anyone could look it up. But look up seven mirrors. It's the Essenes knowledge, but it's an expansion on law of attraction. He's got a mullet in it. It's really old. Okay. And. And he's fabulous. I love Greg Braden. Everyone should follow him. But he talks about the first thing is the only one I'll go over for you. There's seven of them. But the first one is we don't only attract what we are, we also attract what we judge, which is huge, because I was totally. Because I'd been in those relationships. So I was totally judging people who were liars and cheaters and narcissists. So we attract anything we have an energetic spark with. Okay, so that doesn't mean that's what you are. But I had to go through a judgment detox. I had to quit judging these people in order to stop attracting the same thing because I had this energetic spark that I wasn't letting go of. So that's really important. And the other thing to remember is don't beat yourself up if you attract a negative person to your life, because if you have an attractive energy, everybody's attracted to that. That doesn't mean. That doesn't mean that you attracted it because you did something wrong. But it does mean we need to use discernment on. Do we want to allow this person in our life? Right. We need to have that wisdom to say, you know, just because I attracted this person doesn't mean I need to exchange energy with them. You know what I mean?
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:22] Speaker A: So. So. And that's something that we learn as we, as we get older, to be discerning by kind of, by being burned enough to where we. We get it. Not everybody's that nice.
[00:40:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. That's true.
What advice would you give someone hesitant to seek help due to fear of stigma surrounding addiction?
[00:40:41] Speaker A: Oh, gosh.
At first I would say just really focus if you're, if you have a fear.
What I would do is just get on YouTube. There's so many free things. If you. If you like, if you don't want to hire a coach yet or you can't afford a coach, there's so much free resources out there that you could just listen to. And when you realize this is, like, so many people, more people have addiction than don't. And that's what I like to teach addiction awareness, because it's not only drugs and alcohol, it's shopping. Like, we're trying to fill a void with shopping. Some people spend money, a lot more money than they have the food. Food addiction is huge. I mean, look around, like, well, in the United States, most of us are obese here, and that's because our food's not very healthy. We got a lot of processed food and it's a thing, but it's addictive. They make the food really addictive on purpose. It's a money maker. And same with our cell phones are addictions. Like, just think about our cell phones. And some people get on there and they're school. I have to put my phone in another room sometimes because I catch myself. Really catch yourself in it.
Really start to focus on these people who are telling their stories and they aren't afraid to be vulnerable and they aren't worried about the stigma because that's going to make you feel stronger. I believe that that's what helped me is when I really started to pay attention and follow people who were brave enough to put themselves out there. And you don't even have to do that.
I'm only doing it because I teach it. But like someone who's afraid of the stigma of addiction, I would just surround yourself, immerse yourself in those things. Immerse yourself in knowledge. Like, for instance, alcohol. I mean, I don't want to ruin it for. Well, I'm just going to say it. So alcohol is a group one carcinogen. It's right up there with tobacco and asbestos. It's right up there. Carcinogen means it causes cancer. It's linked to seven different types of cancer. But they do, they do not put the stuff on the labels like they do with cigarettes because it's too big of a money maker and they don't want to have that on there. But it is known anyone can look that up. It's facts. But we just aren't made aware of this because of how much money. It's just so profitable. Alcohol, when you go to a restaurant, you're paying, you order a bottle of wine or whatever, and you see the same bottle of wine at this grocery store for, you know, like one, four the price. It's a big markup on alcohol, you know?
[00:43:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: And they don't, they don't advertise all the negative things that go along with it. Like, I didn't know that before, so just get a lot of knowledge about it. That's another thing that's going to help you release the stigma, really learn. Get that book alcohol explained to, because the more you learn about it, you're not going to feel that stigma. You're going to be like, what am I doing to myself? Like, that's what I went through. It's an awakening. You're like, holy crap. I knew it was not good for my liver. I'm not a dumbass, right? I knew it wasn't great, but I didn't realize the plethora of problems it was causing our endocrine system. And it doesn't balance your hormones. Nothing ages you more than alcohol. Nothing. And that's. You guys could quit for vanity reasons. You don't have to have a rock bottom. Like I said earlier, it could be vanity. You could just be like, I mean, I lost 20 pounds when I quit drinking alcohol. I was developing insulin resistance, unaware of that, you know, until I quit. Because, you know, it's just really bad for pretty much every system in your body. And I think just learning about it will help you take away the stigma and the fear of admitting it because you'll realize it's just really, really smart. Especially if you were, like, me and, like, I would take supplements. Like, this is going to make up for the alcohol. Right? Here's milk thistle, and there's all these b vitamins. And alcohol depletes your body of nutrients. Yeah, yeah, we all do that. And I'm going to exercise. We do all these other things thinking it's going to cancel it out, but it really doesn't. So I think just educating yourself, just getting a lot of knowledge, focus on the negative stuff with alcohol. And that sounds like weird advice, but focus on the negative stuff because it's going to take away that stigma. Like, because you're going to realize it's actually, I'm super smart if I get rid of it, this is, this isn't anything to be ashamed of. I should be ashamed of keeping something that I know is doing this to my body.
[00:44:54] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
What are some common misconceptions about holistic healing approaches that you've actually come across?
[00:45:03] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. I mean, I'm called woo woo all the time. I just think it's, I think it's so natural and normal and the, the only way to heal, like, holistic means mind, body, spirit, right? Like, we're going to be out of balance if we don't. Like, that's kind of why when I quit alcohol, I was like, okay, that was the final thing that I needed to do because that I was still not taking care of my body. I feel like I was being pretty good in other areas and I had improved immensely. But what I've learned is there's, that we never stop improving. I still, there's still a lot of things I can improve on now. Like, I don't think I. Do we ever finish healing? I don't know, because I still get triggered by things. Social media triggers me, you know, so, like, I can get, I can get really triggered. People will say hateful things to me just because of what I do. And it's just, it's okay to get triggered. That is an indicator of some, a place maybe. Maybe you need to examine and be like, why? Why am I letting this person affect me? And it doesn't always trigger me. It just depends on the day. And, you know, my vibe that day, just, it's just you get really good at catching yourself and turning things around really quickly. But I think, like the whole, to answer your question, just the fact that people think it's woo woo when it's actually just a necessity, we should all be doing this. It's just really ignorant to not be addressing things that are like our limiting beliefs and our programming because it's more of, we're going to go back to quantum physics or neuroscience because like Doctor Bruce Lipton says, 95% of our daily thoughts are the same thoughts from the day before and the day before and the day before. So we're really all living unconsciously on autopilot, and then 80% of those 95 are negative. And then we sit around wondering why our life never changes, right? It's not woo woo. It's intelligent to sit there and analyze and examine and make those unconscious things conscious so that we can change our life instead of what's. The ignorant thing is living on autopilot and never changing. That's the ignorance. So it's not woo woo to change, it's the smart thing to do. So I think that's a huge misconception. And I always tell people it's really not harder to think positive thoughts. It's not harder. It's just that we practice those negative thoughts more, so we just need to really turn that around, just practice more the positive, you know? And it does take time because we brainwashed ourselves the old way, so we got to kind of brainwash ourselves with the beliefs that we really desire. Good stuff. Because those limiting beliefs are blocking us that, you know, they're blocking us from living the life that we truly want. And that's a huge part of my coaching practice is this limiting beliefs that people aren't even aware they have until we figure it out together, one on one.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: Exactly. Exactly.
Do you have any success stories that you could share where you saw great change in the people you've been working with, with keeping them anonymous as well?
[00:48:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, and that is the hard part is getting. Cause I have amazing stories, but it is. It's. I'm like, I do get some people who write testimonials for me, but it is anonymous. Like, I'm nothing. I'm not allowed. It's confidential. That's the word. Confidential.
[00:48:23] Speaker B: Confidential. Yeah.
[00:48:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So, and people get weird about, I don't know, maybe they wouldn't where you live, but where I live, people are weird about, like, some people still don't even know what a life coach is. Where I live in Cincinnati, Ohio, that, like, I still ask that question, what's a life coach like? So it's not exactly out there, but, yeah, I've had. I've had people quit drinking alcohol when they didn't even sign up for that. They signed up for something completely different, like career. Like, they wanted to find out their life purpose, and we're working on their career to something totally different. But I don't know if you've noticed this, but people tend to.
They like to quit things on their own, and when they're ready. Right. They don't want to be told what to do. So just being. I feel like just being in my coaching sessions and raising their vibration and learning about the spiritual stuff and law of attraction and how. How they're attracting, they naturally, on their own, quit drinking alcohol, which just, like, was a huge thing in their life. So I consider that a huge success story, especially because they didn't even come to me for that, and it was just like a side effect.
Yeah, I get a lot of people who just quit on their own just from going through the sessions. Like, I have something called a two month transformation. It's probably the most popular thing people sign up for, but, yeah. So everything from weight loss to people getting back in their healthy relationships. So leaving toxic relationships, but also, like, getting relationships mended. Because just because you're in a bad relationship doesn't mean we can't, you know, it can't get well again. We can make everything well. Like, it really just depends. Is the. Is your partner willing and able to be in a conscious relationship with you? As long as they're willing and able, I can work with that. But if it can't just be one or the other, both people involved in that relationship need to be capable and willing and put in that work. But you can turn any. I've had people turn their relationships around completely.
Career start businesses. I help people with that because I've started a couple businesses. And it's really, honestly, it's not as hard work as people think. It's really those limiting beliefs and feeling scared, getting past that fear, getting past that imposter syndrome. Right. That's huge. That's the main reason people don't leap. Take that leap and jump into it and do it. So that's like. Because once they do that, it's like, it's easy to start your own business.
Does that make sense?
[00:50:50] Speaker B: It does. It does. It does.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: Yeah. So all of those things, like, quitting it. Weight loss is a huge one because food addiction. I work with people like that because I struggled with that myself. Sugar. Sugar is like heroin. It's so hard, and it's in everything, and it's really hard to quit. Like, and I even quit caffeine back in April, not realizing how much it was affecting my nervous system, which I should have, because a person with my level of energy had no business drinking caffeine. Like, that's not.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Imagine what you'd be like on caffeine.
[00:51:22] Speaker A: Right. People. Everyone thought I was on cocaine, basically, but I would. Yeah. So, yeah, I have a lot of energy, and I. But I drank coffee since I was, like, ten. My mom got remarried when I was ten, and he wasn't. He was pretty absent, too. But the one thing he did, he was like, my coffee buddy. And he was like, hey, you want to be my coffee buddy? I was like, yeah. So he made me a cup of coffee at ten with a lot of sugar in it. And that began the. And I didn't even know. Life without caffeine. I didn't even know. I just. That was probably a lot of, like, why I was extra anxious, generalized anxiety all the time. I also, by the way, had been diagnosed with ADHD. OCD. It was a checker. Checker. And anxiety and depression. I've had all these labels. I'm not medicated. Some people might be like, well, maybe you need a little something.
But I love my ADHD. You can reframe things and just. My mind works really fast. I get so many things done. Why does it have to be a negative thing?
I've had clients get off of medications. I'm not a doctor. I don't tell them to, but they just realized how much their thoughts were actually affecting things. OCD, like obsessive compulsive behavior, that's our thoughts. Overthinking is an addiction. Negative thinking is an addiction.
People don't realize that. If you're sitting there, you let that stuff spiral out of control. Next thing you know, you've got OCD. Because these are energetic thought loops that we get into. It's an energy. One of these thoughts attaches to another thought, and that is, like, what OCD is. And you don't have to be on medication if you learn how to manage your thoughts and emotions.
[00:52:59] Speaker B: Exactly. Exactly. I did that myself with meditation. Pretty much chopped out all of the monkey mind, because the monkey mind just goes crazy. It just talks all the time.
[00:53:08] Speaker A: I don't know what you're talking about. No, I'm kidding.
I feel I got. Well, you know what worked for me? Anyone else who's listening, if you got a monkey mind, breath work. Because for me, just to try to be quiet all the time. I mean, just quiet my thoughts, like, I need. Doctor Joe Dispenza says, focus on one thing. That's meditation. So that one thing for me is usually my breath. And then, you know, counting and, you know, because I'm not. I'm still not great at just empty thoughts. That's just not. But. But we can focus on one thing, and I love doing walking meditations, and just so you could focus on things outside of yourself. I can't remember the word for it, but it's a type of meditation where you're looking at the trees and listening to the birds, and then you could also. Yeah, yeah, but there's a. There's an x. It's like exo something. And then. And then endos. I can't remember the word, but, um. And then you could also just focus on things inside of yourself, which would be more like the mindfulness.
But, yeah, it doesn't mean just de stress people about it. It doesn't mean you have to always have completely zero thoughts in your head. You can notice your thoughts, let them fly by, be the witness, all the things. But just focusing on one thing is good enough that you're actually getting rid of those distractions, opening yourself up for those inspired thoughts and to get in receiving mode like we talked about earlier.
[00:54:31] Speaker B: Nice. Now, question for you. How do people find you? We're actually coming towards the end of the podcast and we should tell people all about your website and the work that you do. Do you work one on one? Do you work online? How do you work?
[00:54:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm on every platform.
My website, though, is if you're listening to this and you're thinking, maybe I need coaching, this sounds like something that I might be interested in. I do offer a free discovery call, which it doesn't matter where you live in the world, as long as you speak English, because that's all I speak.
So my sessions are remote over Zoom. So it doesn't matter where you live. So just go to day one, life coaching.com, comma dash o dash n e life coaching.com and you'll see there, you could just click contact and fill a little form. And I'll get back to you and we arrange for. I'll have a little free discovery call with you. You give me a little bit of your background, I'll tell you a little bit about what I do, and we decide together, is this going to be a good match? You know, is it, is it really what you're looking for? If not, I can probably guide you to something else that might be a better match for you. So that is, I love one on one, the best. I do believe it's my most valuable because you're like, like we were saying, like, I do group too, but it's easier to get in somebody's brain and they can be vulnerable with me. And most people aren't going to do that in a group setting, so. But I do offer some group stuff, and that's on my website as well.
I'm on Instagram day one, life coaching. There's going to be, I think, a couple others that show up, but mine's the one with the blue check mark that's verified Mary Beth Shrutter. And I'm on Facebook. I've got a business page, personal page I'm on.
So I already said Instagram. I'm on TikTok, and I even have a YouTube. Right now I'm taking a break from my podcast, but it's called the spiritual transformation podcast with Mary Beth and I have a lot of interviews on there. What? I did a lot of interviews with psychics and, and people who are healers and just trying to like, you know, demystify that world and be like, hey, like everyone on there is, you know, super intelligent.
A lot of them are from the corporate world, people, you know, and they kind of came out of the closet, came out of the spiritual closet. Right? So they're on. I've got some interviews on there that you'd like in the interview section. And then I also do some little videos of my own on there as well, just given some law of attraction tips. And that's what I do. If you follow me on any of my platforms, I'll do little videos like that, that kind of tricks, law of attraction tips and tricks and just motivational daily things.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: Very cool. Okay, well, I'll provide all those links in the show notes. I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing your understanding of addiction so openly and how you work with people and youre, your understanding of the transformational process that can come from that as well.
[00:57:23] Speaker A: Thank you so much for having me. I had fun.
[00:57:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Great. Great. Okay, I'll just say goodbye to the listeners.
I appreciate all that Mary Beth shared with us there in relation to addiction and her understanding of how that played out in her life. And it's actually quite concerning to think that one could be addicted to something so deeply, but not even recognize it. So I really appreciate the depth of her sharing and her understanding of that, and also her awareness around life coaching and how she likes to help and heal people with her understanding of the experiences and trauma she's been through. So if you've enjoyed today's show, like and subscribe, and if you could possibly share this show to one friend that you think that might actually benefit from it, that'd be very appreciated as well. Consider that your service to others. That'd be very cool.
And thank you so much for listening. Until next episode, it's going to be bye for now.
