Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Everyone is perfectly imperfect. Nobody's perfect, and not everything is black and white. And so when someone is really, let's say, stuck in, I'm really angry at this person or angry at this situation.
How can you shift your consciousness to just be satisfied and content?
[00:01:07] Speaker B: Welcome to supernormalize, the podcast, where we challenge the conventional break boundaries and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, CJ Barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life. Experience each episode, I'm blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world, where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you're looking to upgrade your life, you've come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe and I'll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners. If you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge that you'd love to share, reach out to me at supernormalizedroton me. Let's together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual, what it really is completely normal. Today on supernormalized, I have Kerry Logan, who has spent 25 remarkable years in the mental health and coaching industry, guiding individuals across the globe towards deeper self understanding and self transformation. We go into a deep discussion on her processes around that, what led her to that and the ways that she works with people. She also provides some greater understanding of some channeled information that just came to her when she was working on an understanding of how to help people ascend in their contact and understanding of life. And she caused that, mastering the upper rooms, which she actually turned into a process that helps people to ascendental. That's the only way to say it, really, to ascend through life and to move out of stuckness. So if you're in a bit of stuckness yourself, Kerry's work is going to actually help you a lot. And her words will also today help you. So please enjoy the show.
Welcome to super normalized Kerry Logan. Kerry, you've been in mental health for a very long time, 25 years, and you work with people all over the globe, and it seems like our world is going backwards and forwards in your words. So welcome to the show and tell us all about that.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: Thank you for having me, CJ. What I've kind of observed lately is a lot of people, especially in the United States, are stuck in 3d human consciousness. They're really stuck in fear I and anxiety and depression. And it's kind of created a bit of a divide I mean, there was something this morning I was discussing with my husband that I saw where Bruce Springsteen made a comment that it is like we've had started a civil war here because I'm just going to be honest, we can't talk about politics with anybody. And it's rather concerning. And it's really unfortunate because ten years ago I could sit down and have a conversation going, oh, you're going to vote for that person? Great, I'm going to vote for this person. And you could still be friends. And that is 40 human consciousness. But a lot of people, they feed into this negativity and this fear and it's kind of wreaking havoc. It's making it really uncomfortable for lots of people that live in the United States. I hear other countries are kind of laughing at us because it's a circus show to them, but it's real life.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: Look, I live in Australia and it's sort of similar, but different in the way that most people don't even give a hoot about politics yet. They probably really should. And yeah, you can't really discuss it at all because people have no idea what's going on. Seems like the world has lost its way in certain ways around that. But I see all the polarization that's being pushed upon the people in the US all of the time. And that's a classical strategy of divide and conquer. It actually makes people go against each other rather than go against the people who are actually perpetrating all of the pain and suffering, which is really ordinary, but also just the way it is right now. I recently went on a holiday to Cambodia and it was so free and so different by comparison. People were just friendly everywhere and nice, you know, so what's with that? You know, it's like they don't really seem to have that sort of same sort of drama happening and causing them all to go against each other, which is really interesting to see. But so you help people actually see through this sort of thing and then help them through that in their lives.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: I really help people get unstuck. And the best way to describe it is we can get really black and white sometimes in our thinking, and you need to grasp on to looking at it. Like, kind of taking the blinders off is the best way I look at it is you take the blinders off and you look at the gray area. Where can you compromise? Where can you be neutral? Because everyone is perfectly imperfect, nobody is perfect, and not everything is black and white. And so when someone is really, let's say stuck in. I'm really angry at this person or angry at this situation.
How can you shift your consciousness to just be satisfied and content, whether you like what the answer is or not? But can you get to that place and can you move up to where you can find forgiveness or acceptance, where you can be optimistic instead of just, you know, it's got to be my way or the highway. And so it's that really split thinking way of viewing it differently. So, for example, I was working with this one gentleman that was very angry with his ex wife, was married to her for 20 years. He feels like she just ruined everything for him.
And she was narcissistic. And so he was stuck all in blame and he was stuck in regrets and all those 3d Consciousness levels. And I was able to get him up to view her differently because I shared with him, I said, well, have you ever been loved unconditionally? And he was like, yes, my mom was perfect. She loved me no matter what. I said, you're very lucky and very fortunate because your ex wife, the one that you were married to for 20 years, she didn't have what you had. She grew up in an abusive home. She was probably mentally or verbally abused. And no child deserves to be that way. And her parents could have been neglectful or authoritarian or absent, but that's what made her who she is. We humans create narcissistic people, and if we don't like that, we need to stop doing it. We need to parent better. We need to treat one another with more decency. Respect, kindness, acceptance. That's all 4d human consciousness. So when I kind of unpacked that for him, it softened. He actually was able to find compassion for her and realize that, yeah, you're right. And I said, so what happened is you grew up in this beautiful home with unconditional love. You go to college, and she love bombed you. And who doesn't like to be love bombed? Let's be honest. Having someone love you and just adore you and you loved it, but you were deceived, okay? And accept that that's what happened. But what the problem is right now in your life, is it still impacting you because you then learned a bad habit from her and you're trying to love bomb other women when you're going out trying to date. So that's why your situation isn't that healthy. And when I unpacked that all for him, he was like, oh, my God, you're right.
And I said, why don't you just be friends? You need to create an emotional connection first, not the physical, not the superficial, not let me try to get you in bed or anything. These women, they're adults, they're not young children. And that's the problem with a lot of narcissistic people, is they're adults in their bodies, but they're not mature up here.
And maturity does come when you start to shift out of 3d into 4d. Because 4d consciousness has been clinically proven by Doctor Hawkins. It ranges between courage and neutrality and trust and optimism and hope and acceptance and love and forgiveness. Those are all the key components of that. But when you stay stuck in the 3d where like you're demanding, you're indifference, you're prideful, you're egotistical, you could be vain.
All those, you know, it's like, yes, it meets, you can survive being that way, but no one's happy. Let's be honest, nobody is happy when they're living down there in 3d mentality. People are miserable. You could have all the money in the world and still be miserable.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: It sounds like you enabled that client to have the courage to have compassion and empathy.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, I want people to develop that. And it was great because we had just a 20 minutes conversation and the guy was laughing and smiling and he's like, what did you just do to me? He's like, I can finally, I forgive her. Oh my God, how did she do this? How did she get me to forgive her? And I showed him, you know, this chart and he was like, that's amazing. And I said, yeah, I just walked you up the steps. I knew where you were and I walked you up each step of the way to shift your consciousness. So think about it as a ball of yarn. I just unraveled it for you.
[00:11:18] Speaker B: What is this chart?
[00:11:21] Speaker A: This chart. So I have a, on my website, master the upper rooms. If you go under free stuff, there's free images, and if you click on it, there's one that will literally show 45 d and 3d human consciousness and it breaks it down for you. You can use it for anything. If you're working with employees, if you have children, you're dealing with someone that is dysfunctional.
So do you see it? I think you're looking for it.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: I'm looking at it right now.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: Okay. Do you see what I mean?
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Yes. It really makes a lot of sense because all of those numbers too have been scientifically proven. Our emotions do have an energetic frequency. We are energetic beings. So when they say we create our reality, we really do. If you're stuck in fear, you're going to have more fearful experiences come into your life until you learn to rise above the fear and set yourself at new. I call baseline. Baseline is courage and neutrality. That's between 200 and 250. If you can master that for 30 days, you're creating a new habit of just being satisfied and content, being flexible and feasible, being permitting, not being so rigid, and you'll feel so much better. I mean, that's where you can feel content. And let's, for example, money. A lot of people are stuck in fear or lack around money. I don't have enough money, but I tell people, well, if you get a paycheck every two weeks, that's consistent money, you should be happy you have that two week paycheck, because some people don't.
You know, the same could be with, you know, relationships. If you keep finding that this person is getting you angry and angry and angry, well, you've built up this muscle. Think about is working out of being angry. And now you need to really focus on finding tools that help you get rebalanced. Because as you know, CJ, there's people out there that know how to push our buttons and make us angry. They know how to trigger us.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. How did you come up with this?
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Actually, in last year, I had a huge spiritual awakening, and I was told, you're going to teach master the upper rooms. And I actually received this information back in 2012 when I woke up one day and I was told, you're going to write this book. And I channeled the whole book.
I was shown, here's the whole table of contents. And the book is called affirming and focusing on living a better life. It's all about manifesting. And the sweet spot that I learned about was the 5d human consciousness place, because that's where the magic happens. So I did a podcast just recently about that, how to the magic within you and how to activate it. And I share a testimonial of a woman that wanted to have a baby, and I've been working with her for over ten years. I helped her manifest her husband, and they were trying to have a child for at least a year and a half, did all the hormone treatments, and it was horrible experience. And I said to her, well, what's happening is you were stuck in 3d consciousness trying to have this child. You had frustration, disappointment, regrets, you were forcing it. And this baby wants to be created out of love, not out of, you know, requirement. We're gonna have sex, we're gonna have a baby. No, it wants to be made out of love. And so what I told her I'm gonna do is I'm gonna clean the slate in your mind and I'm going to have you connect to your womb. I'm going to have you fill it with all this love and good energy. And then you're going to talk to the baby and you're going to tell the baby that whenever it wants to come, it can come. And that you're sorry and say that you love it and you're so excited to have this new life come and develop in your body. Well, she sent me a testimonial just about two weeks ago where she said, I wanted to let you know, after a month of listening to that recording, I'm now a little over 13 weeks pregnant. I'm expecting a baby girl in April. And I was like, yes, that's connected to love, the 5D. She connected to joy, she connected to bliss, she connected to all of that. And all of that is around us right now. All of us could connect to that. If you want to, you just have to shift your consciousness. And why I like to do custom recordings, because I am a hypnotherapist, is I want it to be in her subconscious mind.
I really want her subconscious mind to know she gets it. And the best example I give people is we could consciously know something and want something. But if this has a red light, it's blocking you. It's like smokers, they know it kills you, they know it's bad for their health, but they still smoke because that's what they've taught themselves. That's how they created that habit. And it's in their subconscious mind. So when people relax and slow down their brainwave patterns, it opens up the doorway to the subconscious mind and it's listening. So, for example, when I was telling her to imagine this, this and this, all parts of her brain were involved, the subconscious and the conscious mind. And it just lines it up perfectly.
It's pretty amazing how it works. And when I discovered this theory back in 2012, and I wanted to fact check it, I ran into Doctor Hawkins work and I was like, do you know what you've discovered? I mean, this is amazing. And. But then he died. He died that same year, so I couldn't talk to him.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: So I was guided by spirit, whatever you want to call it, to coach and teach this. And I was told to have everyone align with love. Everyone. And that vibrates at the frequency of 500. And so I did. And I've had. I had. I helped one woman. Here's another one about money. She created an invention, and she wanted to attract an investor. And I worked with her. She's on the Gaia channel. She's worked with royalty. She's been in all these famous magazines. But she did get her investor, and he gave her $9.8 million in 18 months.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Yeah. I worked with one guy that had pancreatic cancer, and the doctor said, you've got 30 days to figure out what you want to do. And I told the gentleman, I'm like, we can do this, but I'm just the tour guide. You have to do the work. I know how to get you there, but you got to really believe in it. You have to embody it and become it. Well, in 30 days, he went back to the doctor, and it was gone. He did the work.
[00:19:09] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So we're more powerful than we know.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. For sure. This is completely mind boggling in the way that it works. Then. I mean, you had this information come to you via sort of like a download of some sort. How did that. How did that experience happen for you? I mean, were you doing anything unusual at the time? Or is it just, you know, you just sat down one day and went, what am I, God? I know this.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Well, actually, I just. I was literally directed, go in front of your computer and just type of. And a lot of the stuff I didn't know, I just listened and I just typed it. And what was fascinating when I wrote the book, one of my friends that works at UC Davis Medical center, she's a social worker, and she read the first few chapters, and she was like, how do you know this? You're not a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
You're not a counselor. She's like, how do you know this? And I'm like, that's just what I was told. And she's like, well, everything you wrote down is in my textbook for continued education. I don't get it. And I was just like, I don't get it either. But people have asked, you know, like, and I think it's a good question of why sometimes do you think spirit talks to different people? And the best way I can describe is, is you're humble and you're nonjudgmental and you're really doing it out of service, out of your heart, because you care about humanity and you want this place to be a better world. And that's what the title of the book was, you know, living a better life. And that's what I want, for a lot of people is to just be happy and content. You don't have to have gobs of money.
You just. I want people to be joyful. I want there to be more love on this world. And some people, you know, think that will never happen. And if you believe that, then that's your reality. But I want to believe it's possible.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: It definitely is possible. You've proven it already with the work you're doing.
[00:21:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's. This is like one person at a time. Where. Where are you stuck?
I worked with a catholic nun that someone in the community told me about her, and in two sessions, her PTSD was gone.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Would you say that working with a lot of people now over all these years, that you've noticed a pattern in stuckness? Is there like a maybe, say, five types of stuckness which are just so common?
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Well, I think the biggest thing when people get stuck is they can get stuck in learned helplessness.
And then the other factor is, what's the environment you grew up in? Did you grow up in a trauma bonding environment?
Were your parents abusive?
Were you neglected?
And a lot of times we got to be mindful about who we talk to because some people can just drag you down into the ditches and make you feel worse about yourself. And so I think the biggest stuckness a lot of people have would be, I'm not good enough.
I'm unworthy, I'm not important.
My opinion doesn't matter.
I'm invisible.
I'm worthless. It's just all those negative comments and all those wounds that happen is when we're a child, a lot of them, because children don't have the coping skills of an adult. They're just surviving. And that's the beauty is when we grow out of being a teenager and we shift into that young adult stage, that's where we really do need to work on those 40 human consciousness skills. Because let's just be transparent here. As a little kid, when you got in trouble, weren't you over the moon when your parent forgave you?
Weren't you over the moon when your parent accepted you, when you thought you were going to die or you were going to be kicked out of the house? And they were like, it's okay, sweetie. I love you. I forgive you. It's okay. They showed you compassion and kindness or they show you patience. Now, that, I think is a beautiful thing when a parent can do that, because you're teaching and modeling your child these skills from a 40 perspective. But a lot of people never got that.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: No, definitely, I did not get that.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: They're shamed. They're shamed. They're blamed. They're humiliated. They're filled with regrets. They end up getting angry, and then they get on this hamster wheel where they just beat themselves up. It's this vicious cycle.
[00:24:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Yep. I've been in that hamster wheel myself. And, you know, that inner dialogue can be scarring itself as well.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: Reinforces it. You know, that sounds. According to your lives, that sounds like it's. You're probably around about the level 50, which is, you know, ultimate apathy towards everything. You know, you just feel awful.
[00:24:28] Speaker A: Yes, you do. And it's. And it's a so hard when you think about a lot of people that are suffering in this world. And I would love to see people just get unstuck and be happy and be content and realize that, which I have realized myself is the most horrible people I've had in my life were my greatest teachers.
My greatest teachers, because they taught me to stand up for myself. They taught me to be brave and courageous. They taught me to be kind and compassionate. They taught me what forgiveness is and what is unconditional love. Because I grew up. I did grow up in a trauma bonding home. I grew up with every form of abuse you could think of. I saw physical abuse. I've had physical abuse. I've had mental, emotional, all that stuff. Stuff. And I did exactly what's on this chart for myself because that's like on an airplane, they tell you you got to put on your oxygen mask first. You can't help other people until you put on that mask first. And so, yes, I had some terrible life experiences, but it made me who I am today, because when someone sits in this chair over there, I know how it is to walk in their shoes.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: That's the only way, really. I mean, I've found that because, I mean, I've interviewed a lot of people now, and I find that the only way people can actually really be empathetic and compassionate and have understanding is by having been through that as well. And nearly every single person I've spoken to that have been through stuff looks back on it and says, without that, I can't. I wouldn't be who I am at all.
Which is, you know, so those scars become, you know, like, a benefit in some way. You know, that the trauma is actually, you know, an informed trauma that assists them in helping others through their trauma.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: Right.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: Rolling all the way back. What inspired you initially to pursue a career in mental health coaching. I mean, who was, who was Kerry before?
[00:26:44] Speaker A: You know, it's interesting you say that, because when I, sometimes I think I, a lot of people say, you know, now that they get to know me and I'm still getting to know myself, is, I think I had a lot of this wisdom just come in and I channel it when it's needed. I can't, I, I can't describe it, but I remember when I worked in corporate America, I was working for Brown Foreman, which owned Fetzer Vineyards. I was in California, and one of my coworkers came up to me one day and says, I don't know what it is about you, but when anyone in this office has a problem, they go to you and not HR, whether it's work or relationships or money. It's like you have this therapist sign on your door. What the hell do you, what do you do? And I'm just like, I don't know. And they tell me their problems and I give them my advice and it just seems to work.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Nice.
[00:27:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's just gonna sound strange, too, but my dad did it to me all the time when I was younger, so I really got you. I learned how to listen, and I did take psychology when I went to college, and I really did enjoy it. But I think where it all kind of boiled down, the hypnotherapy part was, that was, that's an interesting story, I gotta say, because I even did a YouTube video about it. And I was living up in, up in Oregon, and I'll try to quickly share it. Living up here in Oregon, and I wanted a change. And it was really, really bad. The economy was around 911, and the economy was just terrible here. And so I was told that I completed everything I needed to do by this woman that gave me a reading. She said, the perfect job is waiting for you in California. Perfect job is waiting for there. And I said, well, I can't move there. I'm a single parent. You know, I don't get child support. She's like, no, what you're destined to do is there, and the job will literally be handed to you. And I thought, this woman's crazy. So of course, I kind of fought it at first. And I was going to become homeless. I literally ran out of my unemployment benefits, was going to become homeless. So I talked to a family friend that was in the Sacramento area, and I said, can I stay with you and look for a job?
She said, sure. Well, a week and a half after being there, I think, or maybe two weeks, I got a phone call about, can I do an interview?
And I said, sure, no problem. And they said, can you be here in an hour and a half? I said, okay. So I show up, and it literally was a hypnosis clinic. Positive changes hypnosis. And I was like, oh, this is awesome. I know all about hypnosis and meditation. This is really cool. Gives me a tour of the center, and I had a portfolio, like, three inches thick. We sit down in the meeting room, like, so, do you want to see my portfolio? And he's like, oh, no, you already got the job. I knew I was going to hire you the minute I read your resume. Yeah. So she was correct. It was handed to me, and then I got all the training I needed for free. They actually paid to train me, and it was better getting training through them because it was extensive. It was like weight loss, stop smoking, personal chains, cancer, hypnobirthing. I mean, even nutrition classes. I got an award as the best weight loss and nutrition coach of the year through them. But here gets the real kicker. And they taught me coaching and everything, which was amazing. So the day before thanksgiving, I got in a disagreement with the receptionist, who was the owner's sister, and I went to my manager, and I said, I think she's trying to get me fired. And she said, actually, she is. And here's your final check. And I was like, what? It's the day before thanksgiving. I said, I'm the best one here. You got three months of clients booked with me. And she looked at me, and she said, she's family, and you're nothing, so you gotta go. So I went home, and I was like, God, if this is my calling, this is what everyone says I am supposed to do. Give me a sign that is so clear, I cannot mistake it. Give me a sign. And I called that woman up, left her a voicemail, and I thanked her for firing me. I literally thanked her. And I said, I'm gonna look back one day as this is a blessing in disguise. Well, the next day, a client comes over, and she was planning to come over anyway for Thanksgiving. We became friends, and she said, I've been sitting on this nest egg for so long that I feel so bad about what happened. And you really do have a gift. I want to help you out. No strings attached. In the Thanksgiving card was a check for $10,000. Yep. And she told me, start your own business.
And I. And I. And I did. And the cool thing is, when I did work at the hypnosis place, two brothers started the company. It was Michael Porter and Patrick Porter. And Michael Porter was my district manager. And he actually totally did inspire me to become self employed because he said, I've met hundreds of hypnotherapists, but I've never met anyone like you. And when he learned about my spiritual side of what I do, he was like, that was the cherry on top. You're too good for this place. You really need to have your own business. And he himself gave me $500 worth of web development software to start my own online business. I mean, there were so many people in the universe that were like, no, this is what you need to do. We're going to line you up with this. And it just happened. And I'm so blessed and grateful for all of it, because now I'm helping people all over the world live a better life.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: That's awesome. What a great story.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: So can you share experience of channeling guidance during your work? We all work with clients. How does that come through? I mean, it must be something of an intuitive process that you relax into when you work with them and just get ideas about which way to go. How does that work?
[00:33:34] Speaker A: So how it works for me is a lot of times I just.
I've gotten to the place where I can decipher what is my voice in my head and what is something for them. Okay. And so when I talk to someone over the phone, where I'm just coaching over the phone, I can read them really easily. And it's the best way to describe. I mean, what a lot of people have said is, you can go to counseling for ten or 15 years, and the counselor has you figured out. I can figure you out in like 15 or 20 minutes.
I don't know how. It's just what flows in is like, this is what their issue is. This is what's going on with them. This is what you need to do. So sometimes I've been shown things, too. Like, if. If someone is stuck on a hamster wheel, they'll show me a hamster on a wheel.
If someone is having a lot of heartache, sometimes I could feel that heartache in my physical body, sometimes I can. And a lot of times when I.
I sit in front of my microphone, it only takes me 30 seconds. I mean, I tell people the 30 seconds in the beginning of all the recordings is just music playing, and it's you getting comfortable. But really what I'm doing is I'm praying. I'm sitting there and I'm connecting to this, and I'm connecting to you, and I'm connecting to whoever in the universe wants to come through for the highest and the best in this person. So I've had grandparents come in, I've had loved ones come in.
It all depends who wants to come in. I remember one time working with a lady, and I was doing inner child work, and something said to me, tell her, you're my sweetie pie. I love you so much. You're my sweetie pie. And at the end of the session, I look at the woman, I'm like, who was that? Who said, you're the sweetie pie? She started crying. That was my grandmother. My grandmother. I was like, oh, my God. It was, like, beautiful. Yeah, yeah. And there's been times where I remember one, this one was really weird for me. The person was about to walk out the door and her grandfather showed up. Just, boom. Showed up in my mind's eye, and he said, put your hand on the door like this. Just block the door. She can't leave. I got to tell her this. And I said, okay, this is going to sound so embarrassing, but your grandfather's here. I described her. She's like, oh, my God. And I said, he wants you not to talk about any of this with your family because they embarrass you, they humiliate you, they make fun of you, they belittle you, and they think you're crazy. And she's literally started crying. I do make people cry. Sorry, I shouldn't admit that. But she was just like, you're right, they do. They make me feel so bad. And she would see him and talk to him all the time. She. I can't see them, like, in physical form out, but some people can see actual spirits. I see him in my mind's eye. But she said, yes, I talk to spirits all the time, and they think I'm crazy, and I'm like, you're nothing.
So he doesn't want you to tell them anymore because he knows it really hurts your feelings. And that is, that should be personal and private with you. You can share that with me because I'm not going to judge you. I'm going to be like, hey, that's totally cool.
Honor it. Believe in yourself.
But, yes, there's times I get downloads. For me, those are the best ones I love. So there's a podcast I'm about to do giving examples of all about 3d human consciousness. And I was just lying in bed getting ready to go to sleep about two or three days ago, and it was like all this chatter, like, oh, we're going to talk about this. And I just lied there for an hour listening. You're going to describe this and give this example and this example. And I was like, this is perfect, perfect, perfect. To give people ideas of when they're stuck in anger and when they're stuck in their ego or when they're stuck in lack or things that have to do with family. And to me that's.
It can be exhausting, but at the same time it's beautiful. It's like something is just opening up like a flower and you're just receiving all this information and then applying it to better support humanity. Because that's, to me, that's what it's all about is how can I be of service? How can I be of service?
[00:38:44] Speaker B: Sounds like there's a lot of joy in your work. Then you get to see a lot of evolution in people. That happens quite rapidly and positive change all round.
[00:38:53] Speaker A: It is to me, there's a lot of. A lot of joy because I know how it feels to be miserable.
I do. I know how. How it feels to be stuck in a pit that you don't know if you're ever going to be able to climb out of.
[00:39:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Right. Would you say that's about level 20?
[00:39:17] Speaker A: I would say yes. Shame and being miserable is about level 20? Yes. And a lot of people are so stuck in guilt, too. Guilt and regrets. You know, I wish I did this. I wish I did that. And that's just beating yourself up. You got to have more kindness to yourself. I mean, as you said, our inner critic, we say things to ourselves we never say to someone we love.
[00:39:42] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. If someone was in a room that was actually saying those things to you, you'd probably just slap them and tell them to get out.
[00:39:50] Speaker A: Exactly. And so it's all about how can I view things from a higher perspective? How can I just get unstuck to where I have peace of mind? I mean, that to me is really the most important thing is having peace of mind. And you can have peace of mind. You don't have to jump all the way up to, what is it, the 600 range? You could have peace of mind at neutrality.
You really can because you're just content. You're just neutral. You're not forcing anything. You're just baseline.
You're just satisfied. Satisfied with your work, satisfied with your family, satisfied with your relationships, with your relationship with money, just satisfied in all areas and aspects of your life. And so when we get triggered by something, that's the opportunity to go within and discover, why did that trigger me?
You know, let's say you hear an angry voice in your head. Well, is that angry voice really my voice, or is it my dad's voice?
Is it my mom's voice? Whose voice is that?
Or is that that little boy and me that didn't get what I needed when I was growing up, and this person just brought it out of me and I need to look at it.
[00:41:21] Speaker B: Yeah, very important stuff. I mean, I know myself when I started to self examine in a really deep sort of way, way back when that I did discover some of those voices weren't exactly me then. And it was, you know, angry parents, you know, and, you know, you. I'd made it my own personal aggregor, which is like a little spirit that attacks out of that angry parent. And it was there, ready to go at me. Anytime I did something wrong. I was like, what? You know, and once I banish that. That loop of discouragement, I could rise.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: Yeah, you can. And I tell a lot of people, too, because I do a lot of inner child work with people. There are times where we have to parent ourselves.
We have to be our protectors. We have to be our guardians. We have to go in and tell that child that, you know what? I'm sorry your parents did this to you. And I love you. I want us to be a family. Because what happens is when we're born, we're whole, like a circle, okay? But when we have life experiences that are pretty dramatic, think about it as a pie. Cuts away from the whole. And that you then create a separate part of you. And that part of you can be considered self sabotage. But I always tell people it has a positive underlying intent. So let me give you an example of what I mean.
When I was working at that hypnosis center way back when, there was a gentleman that hated the holidays, especially Christmas. And we had a. The Christmas tree in the lobby, music playing, holiday music, and he was just ranting and raving. Just hated it. And the receptionist said, can you take the guy in the back and have a talk with him? I said, sure, no problem. So he sits in the chair, and the first thing I say to him is, dude, what happened to you during the holidays? Something happened. I know it. And he starts laughing. And he's just like, yeah, I hate the holidays. I'm like, what happened? And he said, well, when I was a kid, I loved Christmas. Loved it so much. I think it was between, like eight and nine, maybe ten years old. But he loved it so much. And with his culture, his religious background is you do not get the Christmas tree until Christmas Eve, and then you decorate it with the family. And he didn't like it because all his neighbors had their lights and trees and decorations up. He felt left out. So while his parents were at work, he went out, literally cut a tree down, dragged it home, decorated it, decorated the whole house. When his parents walked in, he was like, surprise. Merry Christmas. Let's create a new tradition. Let's have Christmas early.
They got mad. I see your eyes. They got so mad. They made him take all the decorations down, put the tree by the trash can, and he said, while I was standing at the bottom of the steps, they told me I had to go up to my room and I wasn't going to get dinner. And I had to think about what I did wrong. And when I was ready to come down and apologize, I had to apologize.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Oh, my God. He was trying to give them a gift.
[00:44:41] Speaker A: After that experience.
I hated Christmas ever since that part separated from the whole. But I looked at the dude and I said, but you got kids and the holidays are for kids, and you were killing the joy and love of Christmas.
Is that fair to them? Is it really fair to them? You're allowing this wound because you know your parents were wrong.
It scarred you. But is that fair to repeat the cycle to your children?
And, yeah, I made the guy kind of cry and he was like, yeah, you're right. And I said, so let's do a parts therapy. I'm going to talk to that little kid, and you're going to talk to that little kid, and we're going to say you're sorry because he's still wounded and he's acting up. That's why you don't like Christmas. And you're going to have a conversation with him in your mind, and you're going to ask him to do a new job. And that new job is let's love Christmas like we used to. I want my kids to love the holidays. I want to laugh with my children and enjoy them opening their gifts, really make it magical. And that's the recording that we did, the process we did. And the guy was like, thank you so much. That was the first Christmas he ever enjoyed, ever enjoyed in so many years, because he cleaned the slate. He healed that wounded part inside of him.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: Yeah, right. Well, that touches me a little bit there and get my bit of misty sort of eyes because I actually grew up with that sort of scarring as well during my early ages because my parents were both alcoholics. My sister and I used to actually have bets on when my mother would start drinking and causing drama.
So it was awful. So even to this day, I don't really care about celebrating Christmas that much. But yeah, I can see the importance of it too, from this story.
[00:46:37] Speaker A: It is really important because it impacts every aspect of our lives. It will impact him. I mean, now he can go Christmas shopping and not be like, I hate everyone. I hate this. I hate that he can just be like, okay, I mean, I can go online now and get presents. Go to Amazon.
[00:47:02] Speaker B: Yeah, wow, that's cool.
[00:47:04] Speaker A: But yes, to me, if it's hurting other people in your life, you really need to go in and you need to work on it because it's not fair to the people that are in your life. It's just not fair.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. For sure.
In your opinion, what are some of the most common misconceptions about trauma that need addressing?
[00:47:24] Speaker A: Oh, there's a list. There literally like are 17 ways people can get traumatized and a lot of people don't realize it. You can get traumatized by bullying someone, bullying you, a sports injury, you can get traumatized by that. A car accident, there's natural disasters, there's hate crimes, you know, gangs of things like that. There could be emergency room. You have to go to the emergency room. You could be traumatized by even religion. You can, you can get traumatized in that way. You can get traumatized by sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse. All of those are ways you can get, get traumatized as well.
And to me, I think the biggest thing when people experience trauma is understanding. There's a process people go through and they really are stuck in 3d human consciousness. They are. So I'm going to show you an image. So when you talk about, and this is the thing is when I channel, sometimes I'm shown draw this. Literally, I want you to draw this. So there's an image here because I used to do talks about how to communicate with difficult people.
So on this chart here, if you could see, this is the typical brain function. This is your cortex brain, okay. It has to do with empathy. It has to do with your values, language, hope, communication. This here is social, emotional. That's your limbic, this is your regulation, your body. And this is survival, okay? That's the fight, flight or freeze or friends. But when you have trauma or this is the narcissistic person's brain, this is their survival. Brain is huge. It's literally flip flopped. And their cortex is up here that's why it's really hard for them to find solutions.
And so when someone experiences trauma, they're really stuck down here and they need someone to help them get out. So I was told to draw this other page of, you know, for mental health awareness. We've embraced autism, we've embraced mental health, but we reject people that experience trauma and we reject people that are narcissistic.
I mean, there was a study, I saw something like, they asked teenagers about trauma, and at least three fourths of all teenagers admitted, yeah, they've experienced trauma and people are like, what? But we do. There's way what you can. So here's a good example.
You're a little kid, you're in the grocery store, and your mom just keeps going down the aisle and then you're lost.
Where's mom?
Trying to find her could be so scary and so traumatizing for that kid that he then has separation anxiety and that was created out of trauma. And that parent could think, well, that, you know, oh, my kid's just dealing with anxiety right now. No, that one experience of him being so lost in a store was traumatic because he doesn't have the coping skills like you and I. He's not an adult. He was a little frightened boy.
And some parents will nurture that child, and some parents will shame and embarrass that child.
You get what I mean, right?
[00:51:20] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. It depends on whether they're, I mean, most people don't know about it, but non violent communication would be like, you know, encouraging that child and helping that child with, know, empathy. Whereas, um, the other side of it, violent communication, is that shaming. So, you know.
[00:51:35] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:51:36] Speaker B: Yeah, it's intense that, um, we, we sort of live in a sort of a polar sort of world when it comes to those sort of things, unfortunately, um, and most people aren't aware of the damage that, um, their words make. I mean, words are magic, you know.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: And there's so much power because, like, say you could get physically abused and you break an arm. Well, that arm will heal, but someone could use their words to cut you like a knife, and that scar is there forever.
I mean, that person, I tell people, if you don't learn forgiveness, that person can live rent free in your mind and still be dead.
When are you going to evict them? Because forgiveness is not for that person, it's for you. So you have peace of mind, so you can sleep at night so you are no longer feeling victimized by that person. You gotta evict them.
[00:52:33] Speaker B: Definitely. Definitely.
[00:52:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
Why is it crucial for individuals dealing with addictions or self sabotaging behavior to understand their triggers?
[00:52:45] Speaker A: Well, your triggers. I look at it as, it's a way to set yourself free. It's kind of like a flag that's going over here, over here, over here.
And a lot of people, they react instead of respond, and then they regret sometimes the reaction that they had. And so that's where I tell people, you need to kind of step back and go within and say, hey, I got triggered by this, like we said earlier. What is this?
Is it my voice that, you know, I'm hearing the internal dialogue, or is it my mom's voice or my dad's voice? Does that person remind me of my dad? Does that person remind me of my mom? I heard this one story that was so fascinating. It was in a book, and Oprah Winfrey helped write it. I forget the gentleman's. It was about trauma. But he said this one boy kept acting out and failing so bad in the classroom, and they didn't know why because he was, like, a straight a student. Well, they ended up finding out, discovering that what made him not like this one teacher was. The teacher wore the same cologne as his dad, and his dad, alcoholic.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: So, just that sensory smell of his cologne triggered him to compare him to his father, and that's why he could not get along with him.
And they said, okay, change. They did a test. Change the cologne. Change your aftershave. And as soon as they did that, the kid was totally fine.
Didn't bother him at all.
[00:54:32] Speaker B: Wow, that's interesting.
[00:54:34] Speaker A: Isn't it interesting? Yeah. There. There could be all. We have so many different triggers, but when we get triggered, that really is our sign to go in. What is it?
Is it the tone of their voice? Is it their body language? Is it the way they stand? Is it what I smell? Is it the vibe I get from the person? What is triggering you? You got to stop, and you got to go. You got it. Kind of, like, examine it, get your magnifying glass, and really look at it and see, then kind of break it apart. Like, okay, that was a quick and easy fix. It was just the smell of the cologne. Okay, that could be easy. And that's where you jump up to when we talk about 40. Human consciousness. That's courage. At 200, you're being brave, courageous by going within and looking, but then you're also being neutral, because then you're trying to pick it apart. Like, who is this? What is this? So, the cologne, and then you're finding a solution where you're optimistic and the solution was just ask the person, can you change this cologne? Because it reminds me of my dad and I, and I don't want to have these ill feelings towards you, but when I smell it, it makes me think of my dad and that's not fair to you and I want to have a good relationship with you. All of that takes courage to say that and to speak your truth and to find your voice.
And I'm sure if the person, you know, hopefully would hear that would say, oh my God, I had no idea, and it then would make sense. It's like, okay, this is going to be an easy fixed.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's got me thinking about some things that trigger me and I've got to examine them in a different way. So, okay, so what are some practical tools listeners can implement immediately after hearing this podcast?
[00:56:39] Speaker A: I would say get the chart. I mean, if you can go, go on to master the upper rooms and go to free stuff and click on the free images, look at that one chart that has the human consciousness and print it out. And what I do is whenever, I mean, I did this for myself because there was a time where I did experience PTSD, I was dealing with a covert narcissist and it was such a challenging experience for myself and I had to use it. I literally had to look at the chart and be like, okay, how can I communicate with this person to where they can hear me and I'm not going to trigger them.
And that was the hard part is I knew this person was stuck in survival mode. How can I communicate to them where it's not offensive? So under the section of free stuff, there is some free ebooks, there is one about the 3d human consciousness, there's one about the four and five, but then there's one called the sandwich approach. Have you ever heard of the sandwich approach?
[00:57:54] Speaker B: No.
[00:57:55] Speaker A: Okay. The bread is the positive, the filling is the issue.
And you always use I statements instead of you and you never say, but, and if you can't say, if you do need to say like a you statement, I always tell people put it as a we or us. So let's say, for example, you and I have a disagreement and I need to talk to you because you said something that hurt my feelings. And I would say, CJ, I really love you and this relationship between us is very important to me. And I've been feeling a little stuck, I've been feeling a little confused and I've been taking things personally and I know, I shouldn't be taking things personally. And I wanted to have a conversation where the two of us can come together and connect because you're important to me and I really value you. And so the other night when we were communicating, there were some things that were said that really hurt my feelings. And I had a feeling that, yeah, I know you had a horrible day at work, and I know that you've been stressed out, let's say, about money and stuff lately.
And I get that. I get that. And I want to find a way where maybe we can communicate to each other a little bit softer, a little bit kinder. So when you have those days where you're feeling moody and kind of, you know, disappointed with life, maybe just tell me. Just say, hey, hey, Carrie, I'm having a hard day today and let's see what we can do together. You know, like maybe we need to watch a movie together. Maybe we need to go take a walk together. Hey, maybe we could just sit out on the porch and have a beer together and just reconnect and have a nice, you know, just kind of decompress together.
And. And then we can communicate. And we can communicate coming from a place where we're both rationable and reasonable and we're not reactive. Can we do that? Because I'd really love to do that with you. And I said you there, but that was a positive, as you saw, because that was a positive. And I even ended it by saying, you know, I appreciate you and I value you and all of that. So that's how I would approach it. That's kind of like the sandwich approach in saying that. So I'll give you an example about the but. Why you don't say a but.
I could say, I love you, CJ, but I hate it when you leave your dirty socks underneath a computer desk.
Did you hear the I love you or did you hear I hate your socks?
[01:00:36] Speaker B: Yes, exactly.
[01:00:39] Speaker A: Yeah. You don't say the but because they're not going to hear the but they're not going to hear. It's better to say I love you.
Is there a way where we. I mean, there. I even did something where I said, hey, you know, I know when you like to leave your socks underneath the desk. Is there a way where maybe I just put a little trash bucket next to the thing. So when you take your socks off, just throw it in there and I'll know that that's a little sock laundry basket and that's all cool. You okay with that? You open to that idea and you see how I made it playful and fun and you were just kind of laughing and smiling at it instead of being demanding? No. I'm so mad. You have to do this.
[01:01:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're actually finding a way for things to flow.
[01:01:26] Speaker A: Yes.
It's about clear communication.
[01:01:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
Well, Kerry, we're coming towards the end of the podcast and you've shared so much amazing information that I know that everyone listening will appreciate. I will provide links to your website. Is that the best place that people can find you and all the information about you?
[01:01:49] Speaker A: They can find me there at master the upper rooms and they can also find me on empowered within. That's the first company that I started. It's got over 900 different audio recordings. I'm on YouTube. I'm on Insight timer. That's a meditation app. And there's a bunch of free stuff out there and just, you know, explore it, try it. And I. And I say, see what fits for you. And if you want coaching, I'm here. You want a custom recording, you know, I'm here. And I've been voted the best in my area for the past 14 consecutive years. So I'm good at what I do and I love it.
[01:02:30] Speaker B: Excellent. All right, well, it's been a pleasure talking to you, Kerry, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all of your knowledge and wisdom. And I'll just say goodbye to the listeners.
[01:02:39] Speaker A: Okay. You take care, CJ.
[01:02:42] Speaker B: Bye.
It was touching talking with Kerry today because there was quite a number of trigger points that I actually found myself when she was talking about some of the work she's done with clients and the things that she'd worked through with them. So all power to her with her in a work. I mean, it's amazing what she's doing. I've provided links to her step into the upper rooms sort of guides that she has on her website. So. And that's in the show notes. And if you've enjoyed today's show, please like and subscribe.
And if you are on YouTube, that is. And if you're on a podcast app and you know that somebody needs to be able to get out of stuckness themselves or are looking for ways to ascend in their understanding of life, maybe have a look at Kerry's work, reach out to her, say thanks to her directly for coming on the show if you like. And if you could, that'd be great. And until next episode, thank you so much for listening and bye for now.
