Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: So one of the phrases that I love so much is time takes time.
I really was so, so hard on myself for, for during that time. And, you know, it took like a therapist to say to me, because I'd say, why am I continually coming back here? And they're like, because you're learning.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Welcome to Supernormalize, the podcast, where we challenge the conventional break boundaries and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, CJ Barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life. Experience. Each episode, I'm blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world, where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you're looking to upgrade your life, you've come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe, and I'll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners. If you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge that you'd love to share, reach out to me at supernormalizedroton Meredith let's together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual, what it really is completely normal. Today on supernormalized we have Maria Theresa practico Swanson. Maria has been through a rather intense childhood that left her with us in a state of PTSD, which she actually ended up pushing her to a state of such stress that she almost took her life. But then she found a way through, and in that finding a way through, she discovered a reconnection to self and then expression of that through poetry and through movement and dance, and in doing so, healed herself and then expressing that out into the world through her blog, in poetry in kind, started to heal others. So now she's taken up the banner of shaman and assists with people in their change as well. This is her story today, and it goes into quite a lot of depth and has some challenging concepts around self, would you say so, like self harm that we all do to ourselves when we actually are going through times of stress. So, um, it's a deep conversation and I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Theresa expresses herself so beautifully, and what she has to share to the world, I think is very important. So please enjoy.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: Hello.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Hey, how are you?
[00:03:32] Speaker A: I'm wonderful. I'm sorry for the little bit of technical difficulties. We're having a bit of a rainstorm here, so. Yeah, that may have delayed me, but I'm here. Here I am.
[00:03:42] Speaker B: Well, that's great.
So we've got a good talk ahead. I'm actually looking forward to hearing your story about how you dealt with all of your PTSD in your life and then how you help people get through their stuff as well. So that's going to be very interesting.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: It always is. It always is. I love to share what I've been through. I feel like that is the reason why I've walked through it, was to be able to share it with others and let everyone know that healing not only is our birthright, but it is possible.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. A lot of people don't realize it, but when you're going through stuff, it feels like it's all yours and you're all alone, which isn't true. It's just the story we tell ourselves because, you know, in all the variations and all of the experiences that and all the expressions of our being that have happened in, what, millions of years? It's all happened before.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: It absolutely has. Doesn't this feel just a little familiar?
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: Yes. And everything is temporary, and we don't have to be addicted to suffering, and suffering doesn't have to be the end period of anything. Exactly.
You know, which is why, like, I'm imagining this is a worldwide thing, but I have a semicolon tattoo on my middle finger to symbolize when I attempted to take my own life.
[00:05:13] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: And then, you know, I did that two days after I became anointed a shaman. And under that, on my knuckle, I have a diamond.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: To remind myself to always shine.
That's also representative of my own birth chart. My birth chart looks like a diamond, and I work best under pressure, which is, you know, explains my entire journey perfectly. You know, it's. It's not been an easy one, but once walk through it, you know, I feel like now I've turned pain into power.
[00:05:45] Speaker B: Okay, that's brilliant. All right, well, look, I should introduce you to the show because we've got a good conversation already, so.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Okay, let's go.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: All right, so I'll say, welcome to supernormalized Maria Theresa practico Swanson.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: So, Maria, wonderful pronunciation.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: A lot of people fumble that.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I practiced a little bit beforehand. So.
So, look, Maria, you've had a life of PTSD, and you even mentioned on your website it's not from. From, you know, any military action or anything like that. It was from, you know, probably being raised in a really rough childhood and other events. Do you wish to go through any of that as a description of that so people can understand what you've been through? So if they've, if people are actually going through that sort of thing themselves, they can go, oh, wow, that's me too, right?
[00:06:38] Speaker A: Absolutely. That is the backdrop for me beginning my blog, emotional amusings, was so nobody felt as alone as I have.
And I put it under the umbrella of complex trauma because that was the basis for so much dissociation, which is what is normal when your brain is in that kind of level of stress and, you know, anxiety. You, you detach, you, you dissociate from yourself. So, um, you know, as a sensitive being, I say, God put me on this earth with all of my sense settings on full blast, on high. And, you know, I was in a dysfunctional home. You know, my parents did the best they could, but there was just a lot of emotional deregulation and dysfunction, and it was very loud. And, you know, I experienced sexual abuse as a child. And again, when I was an adult, I've had a lifelong eating disorder stemming from studying dance to a pretty high degree.
Addiction is a big part of my story. I started drinking alcohol at 15, and it was a blackout drunk until I stopped drinking.
This is the longest time in my life I have remained sober. That'll be four years in February. So I'm super, you know, super proud about that. But all of these things, all of these events, these experiences just led me to my light. That's what they were meant to do.
And so I've just always been a deep person. I've always questioned things. I've always known I was different.
I don't think I was able to articulate a lot of my sensory things because also it wasn't, you know, I love that this is called super normalized, because it wasn't normalized to talk about seeing colors, feeling angels, picking up information of other people, that just seemed very odd and confusing to me.
And once I started, you know, my path of shamanism and working with clients, everything just makes sense. My life just makes a lot, a lot of sense. And I'm also really, really grateful to have the ability to write about it. So that is a lot of what I do is channeled messaging. I am a vessel for divine messages, and that is what has healed me. My own poetry is a huge part of gaining that clarity and standing in my power and my light.
[00:09:22] Speaker B: Yeah, look, I can relate to that. I felt isolated as a child because of the trauma my parents were putting me through. But, you know, with perspective and time, I've realized that the trauma that they were putting me through through alcoholism and fighting and basically violently fighting with each other and beating each other up in front of me as a small child, which, you know, puts you in that sort of state of being where you feel like, oh, no, my whole life is threatened because you can't. You think, oh, my God, they might kill each other. You know what? Because you don't know what that means, right?
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. It's all very confusing, and they're just doing the best they can, you know, that's what people like you and I are here, CJ, is to. To speak truth into all these things, to break.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: To live authentically. And so, you know, it's taken me some years. I'm 46, but I have forgiven my parents, you know, because they did the best they could.
It's made me who I am. I took a class when I was pregnant with my. Actually, I just had my first son. And it was about turning your dysfunction into, like, an asset. And that is totally who I am. It's made me really, really strong and resilient, and I do really good under pressure and chaos. I do. Well, yeah, sure. You know, I'm somebody who's actually able to remain calm in those things. So I draw upon all of it. All of it has become something I'm grateful for. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My dogs are going to bark a little bit, I should probably say. We have a little bit. We have six driven shepherds in my home. They're working six.
They're actually a very big part of my healing process.
One of them comes into my office with me and works with clients and just caring for six really special trained dogs has, like, taught me a lot about compassion and patience and acceptance and, you know, dogs are special. All animals are special. You know, they all. Everybody, that's what I fully believe. Every spirit living thing has a message for us and we just have to slow down in order to receive it.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: I'm just wondering what they're saying now.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: They're saying we need to go out because it's been raining, like I said. And they're just like, please take us out. But we're trying to avoid downpours. So I mentioned to my partner, I'm popping on this podcast. I hope that it's going to be okay, but this is life. This is real life. You know, you got to just roll with whatever we're ahead, we're dealt with.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah, true, true. Yeah. Just going back to the. To the trauma we've both experienced, I know for myself that once I got some time behind me, I realized that my parents were actually acting out of their own trauma and the time. And, like, you don't get that perspective unless you have time. And, you know, they're not telling you that.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: They're not like, hey, CJ, listen, we didn't really deal with our inner children.
You know, we don't really understand how to regulate emotions or be in an intimate relationship. I mean, these are things that we're not taught, but this is becoming more normalized.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: We're speaking about this as a culture, as a society, so many of us, and it's so beautiful. And that's what's changing the vibration on earth. That's what's changing humanity, is because we're like, no more of this. Let's just be real and speak about these hard things and make them our power, use them as tools.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: Too true. Too true. And I was gonna ask you then, so when did you realize as a child that you were a very sensitive being? I mean, was that just something that you were already like that? I mean, I know it's for myself.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: That is something I 100% knew early on. And then, you know, of course, with time, in retrospect, in hindsight, you know, I think back to certain things I was doing, like, when I stepped onto this spiritual path, which. Which I've done in a very focused way, I'd say, since my awakening in 2019. You know, you think back to these things that you were doing and that you were kind of told not to do.
I used to like, so, as a shaman, I'm a toner and a chanter, and I use a lot of my voice and drumming and things. And when I'm in, you know, the groove, I will start rocking and moving my body. Well, I used to do those things when I was a little kidde, and my family would laugh at me.
Like, that was not. It's like, what are you doing? Stop doing that. That's weird.
But, yeah, that was comforting to me. And so those are certain things that I've realized now when I do them, I've done them before. You know, it's a remembering, because that's what we're doing as souls in human form. We're remembering our information, our wisdom, and we're bringing it into this life, and I'll bring it into the next life, so forth and so on. So I always knew. I just. I tried to hide it. I tried to copy other people.
I didn't talk about it. And it was scary. It was overwhelming. So, through trauma, I believed a lot of it was turned down.
But, you know, I've always been somebody who I'm sent here to hold space for others being empathic. And so strangers, even when I was a child, would just tell me things and I, I would know things. And my mom would be like, huh?
And people would even ask my mom, like, how does your daughter know that? And she's like, oh, you know, she didn't really understand it.
And now that, you know, I'm older and I've been walking this path for some years, I speak with my ancestors in spirit and this, I come from a long line of healers, candle lighters and prayer sayers.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: So it's just very in my roots to do what I'm doing. Yeah.
[00:15:29] Speaker B: Did you find when you were as a child, I mean, you said that your parents and probably people around you looked and frowned upon your activities as, that you were seeing as normal. Did you find you had to suppress that to actually be around them?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, we have my parents. It was a second marriage, so there's six children altogether. And so our house was pretty busy. My parents put me into dancing, which really helped me, I think, come out of my shell. Cause I was super shy when I was young and afraid of everything. And I would really enjoy just being in my room reading books and listening to music and writing. I've always been writing. I've been writing my whole life. So that was like an escape for me. That was how I, you know, just dealt with it. But when I was in the presence of other people, I definitely dimmed my light. I definitely tried to fit in and was a people pleaser, for sure. And then alcohol, like, alcohol was just like the greatest, you know, answer. It was like, oh, this is how I could just do life. And, you know, in my mind at the time, I thought I was turning it all down. But, you know, come to find out, when you're an open channel, when you're able to pick up on things so sensitively, you're now opening yourself to things that are quite dangerous. And, you know, looking back over certain things that I've been through, alcohol was, was dangerous. It was not, it was definitely not, definitely not something I should have been engaging in to the way that I was, for sure.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Well, it definitely lays you open for kins by spirits that aren't so helpful. And then all of a sudden you have a new habit that you didn't expect to have and you're like, what?
[00:17:11] Speaker A: Yeah, you can't decipher anything anymore. Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, in my training. I mean, they took my mentor to say to me, Maria, I'm going to tell you something, and I know you. You need to know this, and I don't think you do, but you're a channel, and, you know, and not all of us are. Can channel to a certain degree. I believe all of us, you know, have these psychic abilities. This is something else we're trying to normalize.
Everybody literally can and will because this is what's happening right now on earth. But I had no idea. And I was like, oh, my gosh. And I literally, like, saw my life, like, flash before my eyes in a series of, like, oh, that makes a lot of sense.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: Computer surface.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: And, you know, I mean, like, I can see it with my children. Like, my youngest is a channel. My oldest is. He's very, very intuitive, but he's. He's not. He doesn't channel the way that miles and I do. And we're just. We're just different. We operate differently. We're different beings.
Yeah, it's an interesting experience.
[00:18:15] Speaker B: It is, for sure. Yeah. I mean, I can relate to that. My own daughter, she frowns upon some of my connections to spirit in different ways. And she looks at me like, you're nuts, you know?
[00:18:28] Speaker A: You know what I think? Well, my kids have.
I'm estranged from my youngest currently, but my oldest and I are super, super close. And recently, you know, he's, like, starting to come more and more into his gifts. He's 23. We talk about a lot of this. It's so beautiful because I can guide him and nobody guided me. And so he. He full out knows, like, and there are times where he's just like, mom, that's really deep. I don't get that. Or like, he doesn't really have an answer for something, but he's curious, and that is so beautiful.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: You know? Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: The curiosity always gets you in the end.
You'll eventually come across because it's just a part of, I would say, our super nature, you know, 100%.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: And I certainly was not questioning or wanting to. I mean, I wasn't talking about it at his age. So, you know, like, recently had said to me, mom, you know, through all the things that I've been through, I really care about my health and well being. And I was like, what? I was like, wow, that sounds so profound. Like, good for you. Because I certainly wasn't thinking that at 23 years old. I was just like, where's the next good time? So, yeah, I feel like it's just a testament to you know, to God, to the journey, to what I've been able to walk through.
I say I'm never not in awe of this path. You know, the more you ask and question, the more you receive. And I just every day pray to be a receiver and to be open to a lot of what's unknown. You know, a lot of this is just blind faith and trust and surrendering and then doing it all over again.
It's a constant cycle. It's a constant cycle of it, but it leads to the most beautiful connections with others. And it has gifted me so much abundance inside and opened my heart. And, like, you know, I feel like that's a huge, a huge thing to reflect upon. A lot of times people, when we do go through tough things, will allow that to, like, close them off, to become bitter, to become angry.
And again, that's not a stopping point, that's not a period. It's like, look at that, you know?
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: And it's about caring for yourself so then you could care for others. So that's a huge part of my journey, is the self love journey, you know, and just treating others as. As you want to be treated like the golden rule. I mean, all of these things are really, really important. And if more people could just give themselves a chance, you know, that was another thing that was mentioned to me by my mentor was like, maria, show yourself some grace in this moment. Like, when I unearthed the pit of my trauma, that was when I met her and we had a session and she retrieved a piece of my soul and, like, my life has not looked the same since. And this was, like, already, you know, a year and a half into me starting my blog and starting to share poetry and, you know, put myself out there, and it's just like, nothing has looked the same. My life has completely changed. I've gone from a lot of toxic behavior to where I am now, which is just enjoying a lot of peace, living my purpose, you know, it's a beautiful thing.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: Would you say your creative expression through writing and art, and maybe even dance, has contributed to your healing process 100%?
[00:22:10] Speaker A: I have been. That's one of the best things my family did, is afford my sister and I a lot of opportunities. We were dancing. We, you know, we were in arts and singing, and we were always doing things. And I feel like that was really good for my energy. And I've always been somebody who moves my body.
You know, it's. I just did a triathlon. I did my third one. I love to challenge myself in these ways, and that's really important for me to be connected to myself in that way. So the practice of dance, for sure, has been helpful. Yoga. I've been a yogi for almost 25 years. Meditation, breath work, these things all keep you connected to yourself. You know, they help you to retrain your brain, because there really is, like, a lot of science behind what happens to the brain when it's put through trauma, which is where, like, the overthinking comes in. And I feel like you can become just kind of stuck up there. And it's. That's also, again, not a period. That's not like this is how it's going to be. No, it doesn't. You know, you can connect to your breath and have the coherence, you know, in. Through your heart and feel things.
That's where, like, peace comes in joy.
[00:23:33] Speaker B: Would you say that overthinking is a trauma strategy?
[00:23:37] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Yeah, try to. Figuring every. Figuring everything out, like, why this and why that? And how about just like, okay, this was an experience.
What can I learn from it? How do I move through it? Those are the questions that, you know, but your brain just goes in this, like, hyper cycle of.
Yeah, just.
I was constantly blaming myself. I was just, like, throwing my own self under the bus and. And just beating myself up. That's. That's really how I dealt with it. I internalized everything, which, you know, from a young age, like, started in my eating disorder. Like, how do I control things? Well, I can control what I'm putting in my body.
And then, you know, in the dance world, you get a lot of praise for, like, oh, you look so great. And, yeah, that did a lot of damage to, like, my outward view of myself.
But for sure, I think that, you know, I help a lot of my clients challenge that and. And break that cycle.
I love sound frequency. Sound frequency is a huge part of my self care, and that really does. There's science behind it. It retrains your brain, and it brings you into a higher state of consciousness, and you're able to just look at things from a different lens.
And that's really what we're doing in life in general. It's like, where am I today? How am I viewing things? Am I viewing it through? And I process out loud a lot. So even just before in the kitchen, I was, like, talking to my partner, and I was like, I'm in an emotional state. I don't think I'm hearing you properly. Let me repeat what you're saying. Cause I wasn't understanding it. Cause I was like, in high emotion. And those are things that I've learned along the way about myself instead of just, like, reacting, you know? Wait, pause. Okay, where am I gonna, how am I hearing this? What are you saying?
And so much of our world is, like, stuck in this. Like, you know, it's just so fast paced and distractible and everything deserves, like, you know, or is asking us to respond quickly. And it's like, that doesn't. That's never suited me. Like, I'm somebody who likes to just, like, be quiet and then think about what I'm going to say. And it drives as soon as it drives people around me nuts because I'm just really quiet, it's like, what? And I'm like, I'm a thinking about what I'm going to say. You know, I want to be intentional with my words. Like, yeah, that's, to me, like, that's the gift of clarity and of sobriety is behaving within my own nature. And for me, that's being very intentional with my energy. Very intentional with it.
Yeah.
[00:26:32] Speaker B: Can you tell us more about your motto, triumphing over trauma and what it.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Means to you and you were, yes, triumphing over trauma. I just never let anything keep me stuck because I was stuck. Like, there were times in my life where I was definitely stuck going through my divorce after I tried to take my own life, I was in and out of a hospital for a year in inpatient programs. Outpatient programs. And I was constantly questioning.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: Hey, everyone, I'm excited to share that you can now support the show on Patreon. Go to patreon.com supernormalized. Your contributions help me to create even more amazing content. Please check out the link below in the show notes and join our community and unlock exclusive perks. Thank you so much for your support.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: So one of the phrases that I love so much is time takes time.
I really was so, so hard on myself during that time. And, you know, it took, like, a therapist to say to me, because I'd say, why am I continually coming back here? And they're like, because you're learning. Like, you're opening up new pathways in your brain and you're, you're wanting to learn, you're wanting to change, you know? And then, like, I, my brother in law a few years ago had mentioned to me, like, you know, how brave I was. Like, he gave me.
Like, that was a super, that was a great insight to share with me that I'm brave because I, I don't necessarily think that about myself. I'm like, well, I just don't. I'm not, you know, enjoying what's happening, and I want to change it, so how do I do that? And lately, I've really, like, especially this year, this year has all been about, like, expanding and really looking back on how much I have walked through and how much I have done. And, you know, I'm currently writing. I just started my 12th collection of poetry. I've had this blog going on since 2018. I've worked with hundreds of people walking beside them along their own spiritual journeys.
I have people reach out to me all over the world like that. I don't have words for a lot of that. It's just like, I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do as a human being. That's how I feel about it, you know, that's this mission that I like. I'm here to heal humanity one heart at a time through poetry and shamanic healing.
And I've done that by triumphing over my own trauma.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: Putting on my little. My superwoman cape for myself. For myself and, you know, by myself. Nobody, like, told me I had to do any of this. There was no ultimatums. You know, that's another thing my parents did, is put me into therapy as a child with all the things that we were going through, we. Therapy was always available. So I've been in all kinds of therapies. I've been on medications for 15 years. You know, that was a part of my story as well. And I feel like whatever you need to do for you at the time is valid, but then question it. I mean, you know that I questioned a lot of it, and it wasn't working, and I looked for a more holistic path, and that's where I am now. Everything I do is very holistic and non invasive.
[00:30:12] Speaker B: What insights have you gained from spending time in nature regarding self balance and seeking harmony?
[00:30:22] Speaker A: I like to use, I think it's a Joseph Campbell quote. Matching your nature, your, like, your nature to nurture, nurturing nature, matching your heartbeat to nature. That's where I'm going with that. And I feel that nature is incredibly nurturing to us. Like sitting in the sun. I mean, I just. I love. I've always loved the sun. I am a total sun lover. I live in Florida, so it's. It's wonderful to be able to go outside most of the time, and it's sunny, um, just listening. There's so much that nature can teach us all the time, and it just. It's simple and everything happens. It perfectly. You know, nature doesn't like a tree, doesn't try to be a tree. It just is.
So sometimes when I'm really, really, like, caught up in something, my partner will say to me, Maria, go. Go to the beach. That's my place. The beach is my place. I mean, I've lived all over. I've lived in the mountains, and I've lived in cities, but I love the beach and I love the water. And so for me, it's really important for me to go to the beach and just stare at the ocean and get back, like, ground myself. And there's a lot. There's a lot there. It's a lot of peace. Just looking around. It's like, you know, our animals, like, yeah, all of it. It's that symphony. It's just like a beautiful orchestral symphony. And I feel like lately, with my gifts elevating, I can hear. I mean, that's what a lot of my poetry is about. It's about sound, color, and movement. And I heard music in nature. I hear it in the water, not just with, like, the sounds that birds are making. Like, I just. Yeah. It's that frequency I can tune into.
[00:32:16] Speaker B: I know what you mean. I have it all the time, so I hear music in all sorts of places. And now while I'm sitting here, I can hear the, you know, the earth humming and, like, oh, I can't get away from that.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I love that you're saying that, because that is really cool.
I've been in. Have you ever done float therapy? Like a sensory deprivation tank? Okay, so that is one of my most favorite things to do. It's like, I did a float after I did my triathlon, and the first time I did a float, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is. This is the best thing ever. For somebody who's sensitive, who's always picking up on other things outside of myself, it's like to listen and to literally get in tune. I could. I could hear the blood in my being, like, along with being able to hear my heart, own heartbeat and feel my own heartbeat and all of those things. And I can do that in yoga as well at times, like, in certain poses and just, like, really tune into your own heart. But I can definitely hear the roar of, like, that because it's raising. So I think it's interesting that you brought that up because the frequency is rising. And so there are times where I'm like, wow, okay. I wonder if anyone else can hear.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: This, because it is.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: It's kind of loud sometimes.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: Oh, it is. It's really loud. And sometimes I wake up and, and, and in the middle of the night and, and I say to my wife, can you hear that? And sometimes she can hear it, too. And it'll take her around the house and go, look, it's really loud in here.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's beautiful. That's so beautiful to share that together. Yeah.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Yeah. But I did, actually. I only last week I was in Cambodia, and where I was there, I couldn't hear it at all, which is really interesting.
[00:34:05] Speaker A: Interesting. That is interesting. I mean, that is a different, you know, and then there's, like, the lay lines to think about. Like, you know, how energy is just in the land there and what's gone on and trauma. And now we can, like, you know, kind of transition a little bit to, like, certain things that I do besides working with clients is earth healings. I am guided to go to different places and do different things and heal the earth. And that is so, I mean, that's what we're doing. We're bringing balance back to Mother Earth because the humans have. We've kind of. We've abused her.
[00:34:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: So, yeah, so that's interesting. And think about all the things that have gone on in Cambodia, like just that area of the world. That's really fascinating.
[00:34:51] Speaker B: So I've got a question for you. So you had, like, a major transition happen in 2019. What was that point of transition for you?
[00:35:00] Speaker A: So I had had an experience where actually another psychic had spoken my truth out loud to me, and I was not prepared for that at the time. I wasn't really open to sharing things. And we were, like, holding each other's hands. And she said, well, read me. And I said, I don't really feel comfortable to do that. That's not really how I operate. I kind of, like, at that time would, like, poke things in if I get to know you, you know, because that was also me protecting myself. And she said, well, can I read you? And I said, sure. And she said you were sexually abused when you were five and six years old. And I just started bawling, crying. Like, that was not something that I was ready to speak out loud, but that's my truth. And she said it. And after that, I felt like, yeah, like a huge band aid has been ripped off. And I was just, like, an open wound. And I just, you know, funny enough, was just, like, scrolling through Instagram and saw my mentor had this, like, ad. And we had a phone consultation and I worked with her and that was it. Like. Like, I shared. We had this session, and my life has not looked the same since.
And we've worked together, and I actually spent time. I lived with her for a little while, and she's taught me so much. And, you know, we've under past lives together, and, yeah, she's a soul. Soul sister for sure. And then I've, you know, been able to. To draw in other soul people. So it's. It's. It's pretty incredible. But that really opened me to. And I was angry when I first woke up. Like, I was angry. There's a lot of things that I needed to move through and look at in a deeper way.
And, yeah, I just.
I really think. I mean, nothing has been the same since then. That was a major spiritual experience. It felt like an earthquake moving through my body. And really how I feel about it now is like, that was me landing on earth.
That was me finally, like, here. And I'm like, oh, okay, all right. Everything makes sense now. So let's just forget the first 40 years of life. Start from now.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: That's all a part of the story. So that's. That's. That's totally meant to happen, too, right?
[00:37:25] Speaker A: So, yeah, all of it.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: Otherwise, you couldn't be who you are now, right?
[00:37:30] Speaker A: No, but it's funny how it's all broken up, because time and space is just an illusion anyway. And so it's interesting to me, you know, just how it all works here in this physical plane. It's funny. I do a lot of laughing. I'm a big laugher.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: Did you. I try to ask you, though, did you find that when you started going through your process of massive release, that it actually increased your output in creativity?
[00:37:59] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. I mean, I've written so since 20, I guess I'd say, like, you know, to gauge it from 2019, 2020, even four years, I have almost 800 poems that I've written. Like, and they just come. They just flow. I don't. I don't think about, like, I'm gonna write today because, like, you know, but, yes, 100%. There's been a lot of bursts of creativity, for sure. Yeah. That's a huge byproduct of being on this spiritual path and asking to receive and, you know, being able to do that. Yeah.
[00:38:38] Speaker B: Can you share any feedback on your poetry from people that have found your site and found that it healed them?
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. So a few months ago, I. The website. It's not a website, it's an app. It's called Miraquil, and it's based in India. And so it has connected me with people all over the world.
And somebody popped on and started commenting on a lot of my poetry. And he revealed that my poetry was healing his family after his wife had committed suicide and how, how much of a bright light I was shining into their family and healing them. And I, like, I was brought to tears.
And I've met a lot of my clients through my website, you know, through having the blog.
Yeah, there's been a lot of touching things. Like right now, currently, I, a dear soul sister friend of mine, we do a live poetry event in our yoga studio once a month. And so we've held two of them. It's called words with wings. And she shared with me recently how much I inspire her. And so I just feel like, wow. I mean, that's the point, you know, she's a creative being, she's a poet. And like, here we are, just like inspiring each other and asking, you know, holding space for others to come and just share their stories and whether it's through spoken word, whether it's even like comedy, like, we just want people to be comfortable sharing, being creative.
So, yeah, that, that's just, I don't have a lot of, I just, yeah, that's beautiful. That's just absolutely beautiful. And makes, like, my heart sing. Yeah.
[00:40:28] Speaker B: What practices do you recommend for someone looking to, to reconnect with their soul?
[00:40:34] Speaker A: I highly recommend, I mean, the work that I do, you know, shamanic healing, being able to, to have somebody, you know, an outside perspective come in because I'm not necessarily like, as a healer, I'm able to, to tap in and tune in and to read energy.
But you are the, you know, you are the one who is going to take that and to move with it. So I'd say, you know, the practice of shamanic healing, I've always been connected to crystals. Crystals are a big part of, of my healing practices.
Movement, all kinds of movement, specifically yoga, meditation, sound, frequency, walking in nature, being outside, being connected to something that's greater than you. I mean, that helps you to attune to the connection that we all have. You know, I'm not, I don't like television. I'm a non tv watcher and I like movies, but I'm very, very mindful of everything that I consume. So it's, it's really a whole lifestyle. It's not even something that I like necessarily decided to do. It was like, this feels best for me. This supports my energy best. So this is what I'm going to do. And finding a passion. You know, I talk to clients about that all the time. Like, when you've lost your luster, you feel stuck. You're exhausted. What are you doing to, like, what are you doing to feed your soul? And that's different for everybody. Whether it's cooking, whether it's, you know, gardening, singing, like, whatever you find your passion to be, do it. Do what lights you up. So what's. What I'm doing may not necessarily, you know, work for you, but I think the basic things are, you know, the breath, just being able to be quiet enough to allow yourself to feel, to be open to spirit. You know, I'm somebody who. Who prays a lot and every day, and that's a big part of my practices. I do have a poem that I would like to share with your audience. I feel like this is something that, this is actually not a poem. It's prose. So this is a channeled message. It's called everything and the nothing.
Invisible strands of energy begin to feel as they are stretched toward the mystery of light, as it touches us and graces us in presence, all thoughts fade into the gray spaces between conception and death as they transform into something entirely different than what they once were. Piece by piece, pushed together to create a masterpiece. In the image of love that is looked upon with awe. It never stops. It can't. Everything in the nothing is alive. It starts with a beat before graduating into a grand rhythm. As it gathers momentum and is pushed into another level so it can continue its purpose, which is to simply grow. Hands reach up to the sky in wonder as the dance of images shifts from shapes into numerical codes.
Intuitively, these codes become the master blueprint for a plan that will commence in divine time. All the world is unaware and quiet as it awaits the moment when what was no longer is and what is meant to be becomes clear. It's all in the nothing, and it is everything.
[00:44:12] Speaker B: That's sweet.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: Very connective.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: That came to me on the solstice. That was delivered to me on the solstice on, you know, in June. I always feel like big, big astrological, cosmic events really have an impactful energy behind them.
[00:44:31] Speaker B: Yeah, right. You mean like astrological portals?
[00:44:35] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. I've been following the moon cycles for a long time. I've been interested in astrology since I was young, and I'm not, you know, like, I know enough, but that is. That is a deep rabbit hole. There's a lot to learn in astrology, but. Yeah, but it's all related. You know, our elements when we were born, what's going on under the moon and the sun, because it's greatly affecting us.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: For somebody that's stuck, how would you suggest they begin to unravel negative programming to build a positive belief system?
[00:45:11] Speaker A: Hmm.
I would ask them.
I think that a huge catalyst for change is being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Pain. Pain is our greatest catalyst. Anger, doing something with that and giving yourself the grace in order to do it.
So it does take courage. It takes courage to investigate one's feelings, what's happened over, you know, time in one's life, doing whatever you need to do to get that courage.
Yeah.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Maybe asking yourself, what is it that I need to do?
[00:46:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yeah. And like, you know, I think for me, when I had my breakdown, I was a stay at home mom for a lot of years. Um, I was in a marriage that was not serving me emotionally, spiritually, that's for sure.
And I wasn't taking good care of myself. I mean, I thought I was, you know, I was exercising and, like, I was. Thought I was eating right, but I was, like, high in addiction. And, um, it really took me, you know, and I wouldn't want people to get to this point, but for me, like, my bottom was trying to take my own life.
And then the idea of hope, hold on, pain ends, and I just wanted to really keep investigating until pain ended. Like, what could I do to end this pain?
So, yeah, it was like, what do I need at this moment? Do I need to sleep? Do I need to eat? I mean, all of those things, like, we do that when we do that for our children, right?
Have they eaten? Are they tired? Like, but then we forget to do them for ourselves. We just, like, keep going, keep going, and that's just not, it's not sustainable and it's not productive. And I think that's another thing to become normalized is rest. I mean, you live in a different country, America. Like, we are, we are so whacked out on, like, hustle culture. Like, you know, it's always got to be, like, moving in the, the next thing, and it's just, it's unsustainable. It's crazy. It's insanity.
[00:47:43] Speaker B: Yeah, totally, totally.
What's your vision for a more loving and balanced world? And how can others contribute to that vision?
[00:47:52] Speaker A: Mmm.
Just being, I say, just, just be yourself. Living authentically, living with integrity, being kind, you know, holding the door for someone, looking somebody in the eye, like, giving others your time and your presence.
I feel like that just that change alone could do just so much. It does do so much because I do that, you know, I'm somebody that, like, I'm very mindful of that. When people are talking to me, I'm looking at them, I'm taking them in the, um.
I try not to bring, you know, if I'm having, like, an off day, I don't bring that to anybody else's table. I don't bring that to anybody else's doorstep.
Yeah. So that's my vision for it. And then that's just a ripple effect, you know, like, the peace within is the peace that you give.
So what you have inside is what you're able to project outwardly.
So be mindful. Be mindful of the energy that you're carrying and you're projecting.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: Excellent.
[00:49:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it just takes some mindfulness.
[00:49:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Mindfulness is key. So, Maria, we're coming towards the end of the podcast. So how can people find you? Tell us about that app and also your website.
[00:49:17] Speaker A: Okay, so I am on an app called Miraquil. That's where my poetry is. But everything I do is under the brand emotional musings. So my website is the emotionalmusings.com. i am on all the socials.
Maria Teresa.
I'm on TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and LinkedIn. I don't do Facebook, but I do. I'm on Pinterest. I do. You know, my poetry seems to be popular on Pinterest. I feel like that's a place for a lot of quotes and poetry, but, yeah, that's where to find me. And then there's ways to contact me throughout, you know, on the website, in my menu, to request a session with me, to purchase my books, email, all that good stuff. Mariamotionalmusings.com dot excellent.
[00:50:06] Speaker B: Thank you so much for your time and sharing what you've shared, Maria. It's a treasure that you're spreading such goodness into the world.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: Thank you. I say enlighten and shadow always with love. Namaste.
[00:50:19] Speaker B: Namaste. Okay, I'll just say goodbye. The listeners just hold on.
Maria is a testament of.
To the. To the fact that we can all get through these things. I mean, I can relate to some of the stories that she's. She described with the stress of growing up in childhood and the way she dealt with it is, you know, brave and in the end, smart as well. You know, she. She found the right path for her. And as she said, it's not always the same path for everyone, but what we need to go through. We need to go through to be able to grow into the being that we are today. If you've enjoyed Joy today's show, please like and subscribe. And if you have one friend that you think could actually benefit from this show, please share that to them now. And please, if you're on a podcast app, give us five stars and some nice words. That'd be very appreciated. And thank you so much for listening. Until next episode, it's bye for now.
