Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign to another episode of Super Normalized, today we talk with Gina Economopoulos. She's a person that's been through a life of real tough struggle that led her like a connection with herself. So she actually felt sort of destroyed in certain ways because of how much tragic loss and ongoing drama in her life that laid her cycle all the way back around to discover her faith and then become a end of life doula, helping people to cross over to the spirit world. This story is great for everyone that needs to understand that you can get through struggle. And Gina has been through a lot and this is a good story in that throughout all of that, she kept her faith, even though she at times hated God. So this is a good story in the inspirational aspect of it. It's tough, but it still needs to be told. Okay, so on with the show. Looking at the statistics that I have for YouTube and for my podcast apps, I have a lot of listeners and viewers that aren't yet liked and subscribed. So if you're on YouTube, like and subscribe, it's free. And if you're on a podcast app, please give me five stars. That'd be really cool. It helps other people find these great conversations too. Thank you.
Welcome to Super Normalized Gina. I don't know how to say your luck name properly without getting it wrong. Is it economic?
There we go. So you've said it many times. I haven't. Welcome to the show, Gina. Thank you so much for coming on. I'm interested today in hearing all your story about your life and then how that's led you to a transformative role where you actually get to assist people in their end of life process as an end of life doula. So, Gina, tell us about your story.
[00:01:52] Speaker B: Wow. Well, first of all, thank you, CJ for having me on to all your listeners and, and yes, I. I do have a story, like we all do. And, and, and I. It's just amazing today where my story led me being. Yeah, like you said, as an end of life doula. So I guess I'll start from the beginning. And feel free to interrupt because I could talk, but.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Okay, that's fine.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Now, I was. I was born in New York, one of eight kids. The seventh child.
Great family. No complaints about mom and dad. They loved us unconditionally. Dad even sent us all to college. Worked a hard worker, et ceter. But yet I was born, even though I was born the seventh child, I was born with a lot of problems. Hip dislocation, physical problems. There was a time it got to a point in my life after surgery, after surgery, that I was. I got used to it. It was normal for me. That was my normal. I was prone to. Okay, I was also.
Something always bad happened. I would say in my eyes, like, why me? Why me? So I developed myself this poor, poor low self esteem, this insecurity, this false self. Throughout my childhood, I knew I experienced like a loneliness, a sadness. And I would compare myself to my. My siblings because they were beautiful, athletic, and. And I just couldn't do it. I was this short, the youngest one, and. But I was cute. I was cute. That. That's what I got. I was cute. I had a great smile. So my smile carried me. And whenever anyone asks me, oh, how are you doing? Oh, everything is fine. I'm great, I'm great. But yet, you know, as a kid, I was searching for that love, for that acceptance. Yes, I got it from my family, but from everyone else, you know, from the outside, from peer pressure. And that's what I did. I was then looking in all the wrong places, got involved with, you know, the wrong groups or I didn't find. I didn't find myself. And so I continued this searching in my heart, really throughout my life to find what's my purpose? What's the meaning of life? Where do I belong? Where do I belong? And so as time was going on, I went to college. I got a degree in social work. Also. I became a pool shooter, billiards, and became a shark. And so I. And then when I graduated, it was like, okay, I'm 23 years old here by now. I thought I would have a boyfriend and a fiance, but that didn't happen. So I went to go live with my parents. And then I became a bartender. That's the only thing I knew to do that I knew what to do is bartending. Because I was familiar with that environment around the bar. That's what I hung out in college. So as my story continues as it unfolds, during that time as a bartender, I thought I was only going to be there for like six months, get a real job, but yet I stayed there for a few years and I didn't want a real job because I was making money and I was doing social work.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: You were happy?
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Yeah, happy on the outside? Yes, I was the center of the attention. Everybody loved me. And that's what I wanted, is to be the center of the attention, be popular. And I was a very good bartender. So they all loved me. But yet, during that time, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She had four to six months to live. And once again, it didn't happen to me physically. But why me? Because I was home with my dad taking care of her. All my other siblings were out. My younger brother went off to college. So, okay, why me? You know, put my life on hold, which was a gift, taking care of my mom. And. But yet she died. She, you know, she suffered with bone cancer, so she. She died in those. In five months. And I would say that was my first experience of grief, my first experience of. I was lost. It was my first experience of trauma, like a real deep pain. And. Yeah. And so I was searching. I would continue to search for the. Now I'm searching for really the meaning of life because my mom is dead. Where is she? She's with God. We were raised Catholic, but yet at this point, I didn't have a relationship with God. And then as I'm doing my research, which, you know, going to church, going to mass, praying the rosary, whatever it may be, I came back to my Catholic roots. And then I became a nun. A Catholic nun. I'm a runner. I'm a good runner, cj. Like, I ran around.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
Oh, okay. So all these events were sort of, like, pushing you in a certain sort of direction to your spirituality and faith. I mean, how did. How did they actually influence you towards that?
[00:06:32] Speaker B: Well, you know, all I know is that I went from one extreme as a bartender living this dark life or living the Sodom Gamor. And then I go from this other extreme of being in the convent. Like, everybody's going to hell, not to say that they are, but I went from one extreme to be a follower of Jesus. And my faith was very immature. I say now, but back then, it's like, oh, yeah, I know God. God loves me, and this is what I want to do. And I did join a convent in the South Bronx. I'm a people person. I'm a people pleaser, too. And everybody loved me again. Everybody loved me. They all wanted me. They all wanted me to join. And I. I'm like, okay, there was an empty. There was an emptiness within me. There was a soul searching within me. So I'm thinking, okay, this religious community loves me, wants me. Maybe this is where I belong. And I just got. Yeah, and I got swooped into that. I was. You know, it's. In hindsight, I can't explain it, but I just kept moving, like you said, I just. I just kept moving forward, just looking for that peace within, looking for that love within. And I thought, why not? A convent sister religious life. I mean, it's a vocation. It's a supernatural grace, you know, to be a sister or a priest, because it's something out of the ordinary that's not normal. It's not normal.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: And it's only from the grace of God to say, hey, come give your life to me, you know, and I give you that grace, that sufficient grace. And he did. He did for 12 years. But not a nun anymore. And because during that time, I mean, it was just. I endured a lot of pain, suffering, rejection. It was just. I couldn't understand because I'm a nice person by trade. I have a loving heart. And I just felt I was being mistreated by the community, by the convent, by the sisters. And at that same time, I was, like, shocked. Why is these religious people hurting me? Because I, you know, by the end. By the end of my religious life, the last two years, I was. I was shunned by the community. They sent me away to get help. I was.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: It was just. And I.
Even as a sister and a nun, I experienced a real dark time. Real dark.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: Because it sounds like you've got a lot of karmic debt that was coming through and you were getting kicked around from all sorts of angles for all of your life.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And I. Yeah. My question was, like, why me? Why does this have to happen to me?
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Why would you do last lifetime?
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I don't know. Oh, God. I maybe don't want to know.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. It doesn't matter because you're working it out now.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: Exactly. Ignorance is bliss, right? I mean.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And, yeah. So I had a. So, yes. And so they asked me to leave. They told me I didn't belong there anymore. Like, for 12 years, they kept saying I belong here. And then at the end of my religious life, they said, we, you know, you don't belong here anymore. And I'm like, what me? I'm Sister Regina. I was a famous nun. I mean, everybody loved me, everybody wanted me. Everybody, you know, everybody couldn't say no to me. You know, it's like, whatever I asked, I wore full habit. I did love the life in a way because I was helping people. We worked with the poor. And yet at the same time, like I said, I was just kind of confused. And in the long run, you know what it is? It was like our personalities cross. We clashed. My personality, the sisters, what they wanted, the charism. I'm more of a free spirit person. And they were more like, gotta do this, do this. Do this. And.
And so by the time I left, I was like, okay. And I was crushed. I was crushed. It was a. There was another incident in my life that, you know, was trauma for me. Like, you know, God. Then I'm thinking, God rejected me. I married him. He rejected me. How could he? How could they do this?
[00:10:37] Speaker A: So do you still believe that, though?
[00:10:39] Speaker B: No.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: Good.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: No, no. Oh, no, no. But. But those were my feelings at the time.
[00:10:46] Speaker A: At the time, yeah.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: I was confused.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: When we're going through tough times, we feel like, you know, and we abandon me.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: You know, I felt abandoned. I felt like, you know, I felt like I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this community and to the people. And what I experienced, especially the last two years, there was nobody by my side. Nobody stood up for me. Nobody stood up and said, hey, this is wrong what you're doing. And all I kept doing was crying and just. I was writing and everything. So. So the day they. They kicked me out or they asked me to leave, of course, in hindsight, you know, it was the best day of my life. But at the moment, it was like, no, this can't happen. But yet I continue. I continue. I continue to smile, I continue to search. I leave the convent with a broken heart, and then I'm thinking, what am I supposed to do in life? I'm 42 years old now, Granted, I don't. I'm not married, don't have kids or anything like that. I don't have a job. I gave up everything. They give me some money, leaving, coming into the world, boy, that was like a culture shock for me.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: Culture shock? Yeah. For sure.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I was sleeping on bed boards. I didn't have anything. We lived a very austere life. So the best solution for me, which God had placed me, I went to live with men and women with disabilities as like a house mom to take care of them. It was like, meanwhile, they will. They were taking care of me because I was so broken. I didn't know anything. I was in tears. But yet, once again, getting out of yourself, when you help someone, you get out of yourself. And so here I'm helping these men and women with down syndrome, and they're so loving that it was like a time of rest for me as well as a healing time. A healing time. But still, I didn't know what I was going to do. I mean, I do have a college education and I got a sister education, but at this point, point, I did not want to be a sister because I didn't want to get hurt again. I was so hurt. So after two years of being with the men and women with the disabilities, I said, okay, Now I'm like, 42, 43, whatever. I have 44. I'm like, okay, I want to do what Gina wants to do. Because all along I was doing what other people wanted me to do. I say, now, I mean, I did what. I'm a people pleaser. Or, like I said, I was looking for that love and the acceptance, but I never realized it was my insights that were missing it of who I am. So my journey continues. It continues. So I came to the Jersey shore, to the beach, learned how to rent apartment, never knew how to do that. And my dad was alive at the time, and God bless him, he helped me out in many ways to get my. Get myself going in this life. I didn't want to go serve anymore in the social work field because I was tired. I was tired of serving. So I did the next best thing that Gina knows to do that she went back to bartending. That's it. So it was like, you know, my. My claim to fame is bartended none. Bartender. That's my claim.
I was going to say, I'm thinking.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Diminishing that, but don't diminish it, because it's actually a big life story still. Because you've had so much stuff that has happened, you know, it does. Listening to all that I can hear over and over in your story, the inspiration for the name of your book would shake the dust off your feet and walk.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: What a title. Right, Exactly. That makes a lot of sense there. Right? Because, like, every time you get kicked down, you're like, okay, okay. I can't just sit here wallowing. I've got to get going again. And I can hear that in your story, so that's powerful.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Well, thank you. Because I didn't realize I was doing it at the time. I did not realize that I was going to write a book at the time. You know, all I. I was trying to survive. I was trying to survive and figure out. And, you know, by this time, my sisters are all married, have kids, grand, you know, like this and this. And I'm just like, what's Gina's purpose in life? Bartending. I mean, like, back to that purpose of who am I? Who is Gina?
[00:14:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Because you compare yourself against all the people around you, your family and, you know, your old friends and everything. You. And you're looking. You're like, wait a minute, I haven't done the house thing or the Kid thing.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:58] Speaker A: And all that. And you're like, well, what is my life? You know, and. Yeah, right.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: And like I said, when I left the sisterhood, I was in my feast. So I was. Not only I was broken, but I missed, like, my mother, you know, being a mother, like they say in your 30s, you know, I missed all this. And believe it or not, CJ, when I was 16, I wanted to be married by the time I was 18 and have, like, at least five or six kids and live in a white picket fence. Yeah. The dream, like, the American dream. And with seeing my parents doing that, they were my role models. My. Like, hey, I want to be like you, mom, Be a house mother, housewife, take care, find a nice, good husband, etc. But that. That. That wasn't in my cards. And. And so. So now here I'm back at. I'm at the shore. I go back to bartending, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do, you know, just rest, relax. Not relax, but just to see what's my next step is, you know, it was. But yet, I mean, I'm. I'm bartending within a month. And who walks in this? A guy named Danny. I meet a guy.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: Okay, and you had a spark on your eye for Danny?
[00:16:09] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, I met a guy. You know what, cj? He liked me. He loved me. You know, it was like, my God, what is this? And so, like, the words that were coming out of his mouth, I mean, he was the first guy out of the convent two years later. Because at this point, I says, you know, it would be nice to find a nice guy to live with or to be with. So here Danny comes in, and so. But comes to find out. I mean, he finally found out I was a nun. I kind of did not tell him that because I learned my lesson. Because after I left the convention, I would meet guys, whether it's in the bar or whether it's here. I tell my whole story that I was undone, I got kicked out, I was abused, all this. And then I give them my number, like, real excited to go on a date, but nobody called me. Yeah.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Too much information, probably. So.
But you didn't realize, did you?
[00:17:01] Speaker B: I didn't realize it, but that's how I was, in a sense.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: I was such a. Yeah, because you're so open, right? You want to just give them everything open.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: And I was. I would say I was kind of innocent, you know, like. Like I'm saying, why? Why? You know, like, why. Why. Why wouldn't they want I mean, I'm a good person. And so, but yet. So when Danny came along, somebody did tell me. Yeah. After so many guys that never called me, he says, next guy he meet, don't tell him you were none. So I didn't, I didn't. I was a social worker, same thing. But yet he came to find out that I was a sister. And it didn't scare, scare him. He said, okay, let's go out. I mean, it didn't scare him. And. And then I come to find out that he was an alcoholic. And so I'm like, oh my God. And he was drinking, he was active. At the time, I once again did not know what an alcoholic really was. I thought like a man and a woman with a paper bag under the bridge. You know, that's, that's an alcohol. Someone who drinks under the bridge. So.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: I never, you know, I didn't think. But yet I asked him if he could stop. I really. That's when the introduction of alcoholism really came into my life, into my mind, because I was never around alcoholics except in the bar. You know, they're drinkers. But that word never came up because I, I just never said anything. I never thought of it. The only, the only person I do remember is when I was a nun, it was a homeless guy who liked to drink. And he would, you know, he'd always come to me drunk as a sister, and I would say, oscar, go to the church and pray and you'll be healed. You know, that was like my, you know, my answer to the, to someone who drank too much. Yay. Go to confession, you know, go here, go there. So here. When Danny, When I met Danny, realizing he was an alcoholic, he encouraged me to go to Al Anon, which is a 12 step program for people who are affected by the disease. Disease of alcoholism. So I did, I go to Al Anon, he goes to aa, his program. He goes in and out of rehab. And of course I stay by him because he loves me and I love him. And I'm like, okay. But then I'm like, God, why again? You know, why couldn't I get a, a normal guy? I don't know what normal is really, but you know, someone that, just that I don't have any problems, but yet he did. He was a great man that was simply sick. And he found his sobriety out out west out in Arizona area. And so that's, that was our plan. Like, oh my God, he's sober, he's not drinking. We're gonna live out In Arizona. This is it, cj. This is it. I got it. You know, my life. My life is coming. My life is coming.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: It's falling into place.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: It's falling into place. So. So back in July of 2012, when he was sober, he came back to Jersey area and he drove close cross country to settle. He came back to get his belongings. His mom went for a ride. This is it, goodbye. He said a prayer. I'll see, I'll be in Arizona about a month and we'll find a place, we'll get married. Plans. I had all these plans, but that night or the next morning, I get that 360 degree phone call saying that Danny and mom was in a car accident. The mother. The mother burned up. The mother died. Burned up. Danny burned up. And we don't know if he's gonna live. So. And this. Yeah, this was in Indianapolis and kept pushing. I was like, God, why? I can't. Why? Why? And so what do I do? Like I always do, you know, Danny's my love. I get up and I go to Indiana. He did, he got, survived this accident. It was like, oh my God. But he was burnt from the head down and he was sober. And I'm like, oh, my God, Danny, God saved you. For us, we could do this. We got involved in like the AA and the Al Anon group out there of men and women. They were very kind, reaching out, helping us. It was like, oh my God, this is great. This is great, Danny. But what does a good alcoholic do when they're in pain? Trauma, because he experienced a lot of pain and trauma because he's burnt on half of his body that he picks up. And so I'm like crazy, you know, I was crazy. I was like, I can't believe you did this. Still not aware what alcohol is, you know, I'm like, why can't you? And kicked him. I kind of went downhill myself, you know, I was just like, I'm so tired of this. Why couldn't you do this? And I'm giving you another chance, you know, manipulating, bribing, kicking him out, enabling, you name it. And he, he, you know, he was trying. I didn't have compassion because it was all about me. What are you doing to me? And. And then within six months after I kicked him out, I found him dead from the disease of alcoholism. So I lost Danny and his mom within seven months of each other in Indiana Place. I did not know. So at this point, I was wiped. I was wiped out in life. At this point. I was like, I Didn't have any strength, any energy or anything to get up again. At this point, my smile was wiped away. I just was like, kaputs. I'm done. Every time I get up, I get knocked down. I can't do it anymore. So I came back to the Jersey shore, simply existing. Wanted to die. Felt like a zombie. I prayed to die, but God kept me alive every morning. I wasn't going to kill myself. I wasn't really. I wasn't talking to God. I wasn't talking to anyone. And then one day I happened to go into the rooms of AA to a meeting, because I was wondering once again, there was in me, in my mind, saying, you know, why did Danny die? And these people are sober, like, why. Why didn't he get it? God? You know, because everyone says, when you do the next right thing, God blesses you. And I'm like, what happened here? So I did. I went in the rooms of aa just listening. I'm not an alcoholic. I do not identify myself. I was very angry. And the first meeting I went to was a speaker meeting. And all I did was cry, cry, cry, you know, just listening. And I spoke to a gentleman, and he. He knew Danny because I'm back in my hometown where Danny grew up and everything by myself. Me. Myself. And I. And I did get a job, but it was like. I don't really remember that time. You know, I just. I was just. I. Distress. Yeah, I lived. I had an apartment, but it was. It was a shrine of Danny. It was a shrine of nothing, you know, it was like. And. And I says, you know, and at that point, I honestly felt, cj, that nothing. Nothing's good can happen to Gina. That's it. I'm done. I'll just live this life in misery. Everyone else could find their way, find their peace, find their joy. You know, if somebody needs to suffer, give it to Gina. I'll suffer. That's me. I'll suffer for everyone. And I really felt that way. I really did. And. And. But then, yet somebody at this meeting invited me to come to a closed meeting of A.A. you know, why don't you just come and join us? I said, I'm not an alcoholic. Danny is. But I said, ah, let me find out.
In this realm, why people. How do. How do people get sober? Why? You know, why? Oh, my question was, why, Gino? Why Gina? Why? Why g. You know, why? And. And sure enough, I went in these rooms. I just identified myself as a. The desire not to pick up. I was very, very angry, extremely angry. And I was angry at the. At them. At the people at the rooms. I was angry at God. I was angry at myself. I hated my life. I hated myself, and I hated God, and I hated people. But as I was going to these meetings and I happened to. I was going, like, every day for some reason at first, sitting in the corner, holding the wall up, crying. And I just kept going, kept going. People did reach out to me, and I'm like, yeah, whatever, whatever. And I was doing it for a good nine, ten months, every day, just going and listening in it. Now, at this point, I was kind of sharing a little bit of Danny. Not me of Danny. Danny's the problem. Danny was a drinker. Danny died.
And. And then people will come up to me and say, oh, you know, Danny, don't. You know? They would try to console me. They would say. Because sometimes I did share that I hated God. No, you can't hate God. God loves you. You know, I would get. People would say that to me, and then my response in my mind would be like, no, crap. God loves me. I divorce him. I married him. I know who he is. I'm just very angry with him. And. And he's on the couch, I always said. And so it wasn't like I didn't believe in him or anything. I just. I was just angry. Like any marriage, right, if you're with a husband and wife, they hate each other. And that's how I felt with God, because I married God. I saw what God could do in the South Bronx. I saw the miracles he had performed through others, but never for me. So as I continued going to these meetings about, Somebody approached me. A friend of mine said, you know, Gina, you come here every day. What is your relationship with alcohol? And that was like a light bulb. Like, somebody had to tell me. Yeah, I was like. And I was like, what? And I did. I looked at my relationship with alcohol, and in hindsight, I was a very good runner, Denier, whatever you want to call it. My smile just masked everything. I was a big drinker. I hid it well. I like to drink because it took me away from. From me. It covered my pain. I thought it would heal my pain. But once, the next morning, pain would be there. Okay, let's let me get something to drink. So, I mean, we all have a different story, but we both all have, like, that cunning, baffling, insidious disease. So In April of 2015, one day I just said, my name is Gina. I am an alcoholic. That was the first time I identified myself and I was like, oh, my God, what. What is this? This is not normal. Not Jeannie Khanomopoulos. This is not me. But yet when I said that I had an experience of all the pain, all the trauma, all the low self esteem, insecurity, everything that I was carrying, all the grief, all. All the situations that happened to me, and everything just opened up. Just opened up. And. And it was more pain. It was more painful than anything. And then a voice said to me, so what are you going to do with this paint? Are you going to go drink it away or you're going to go to your pity couch and be the victim? Because I was playing victim my whole life. And I was like, oh, my God, I don't want to. I really didn't know what to do, but I did what they suggested. The rooms of aa got a sponsor, got a home group. Just don't pick up a drink, Listen, you know, listen to learn, learn to listen. All that, you know, all these slogans, you know, I just learned one day at a time. And at first I was. I would. It took me a while to. To accept that I, yes, I have a drinking problem, and yes, I'm an alcoholic. Because it was all Danny. My focus was on him.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: As you hear my story, my focus was on everybody else. The sisters. This, this.
[00:27:59] Speaker A: You weren't looking within. You were looking without. For the problem sourced.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:03] Speaker A: And it took a lot of events to bring it around to you.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Exactly. I mean, some people who know me today that know that I'm in the room says, oh, you. You needed the rooms 30 years ago. I'm like, I wish I did. Because, you know, today, fast forward. I live. I live a life of freedom in the light. I'm in the light. I want to live today, cj. I don't have to suffer today.
I just want to. I'm happy within me. I know who Gina is. I love Gina. I mean, I could truly say I love Gina. I really do.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: That's beautiful.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: And yet, you know, I have my feelings. I got my fear and all that, but that doesn't. That doesn't define who I am. And it does not control me nor paralyze me. Today, I have a. I have a problem program. I have a God. He's back in my life. And that's where my faith took a different turn, one would say, because I realized who I was and was like, in hindsight, I'm like, aha. If only. If I only knew what I knew today back then, I wouldn't have put up with all the crap. I wouldn't have done any of that. But yet.
[00:29:11] Speaker A: But you didn't know because I did not know. You weren't meant. You didn't know because you weren't at the time. You had to go through that to get resilience and strength, character, to be who you are now.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: And that's where. And then today, like, that's when I. I wrote my memoir. Because I just felt it on my heart to share with people or to say, hey, if I could do it, you could do it. Like, it's a message of hope and strength, and it's so true. Like, shake the dust off your feet and walk. God knew I was gonna. You know, it was perfect. It's a perfect title because even today, I continue to shake the dust off my feet and walk. You know, things do irritate me in life. I'm not gonna drink over it. I'm not gonna be crazed over it. I'm like, okay, goodbye. Or whatever. Whatever I need to do. In a healthy way. In a healthy way.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: And that's what I love.
And that's what I love. And then in that, I became an end of life doula. Because I love being with the dying. That is a transformation. When I was with my mom, I. When she died, I hated it. When Danny died, I hated it. You know, I mean, grief, grief, grief.
But now here, God had put in my heart the passion or just the joy just to help someone else to be. To transition from this life to whatever life they believe in.
[00:30:32] Speaker A: How did that come about for you? I mean, did you. Did you have an experience and someone said, come over and can you help them? Well, what happened?
[00:30:40] Speaker B: Well, when I was a sister, okay, when I had that experience after my mom died, I tasted heaven. In my. In my faith, I tasted heaven. I tasted peace, A great peace that I can't explain. And I'm thinking, wow, mom, if this is where. If this is what I think where you're at in this piece, I can't imagine. I really can't imagine the other side. I really can't imagine. So that just kind of built up because when I was a sister, I was with so many people dying from all ages. I've been to so many weeks from all ages. I don't mind. People would call me and say, hey, sister, could you go visit Johnny's sister? Or whatever, whatever. Don't know them. I would go, whether maybe with a statue or with myself or pray, and they will just die. They would just die. There would be a peace I would experience a peace in their room or they would die when I next day. So I was like, wow. And I felt like, yeah, I'm packing your bags. And what really inspired me was Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa was always with the dying. And she would always say, we need to give the dignity, you know, to people who are dying, the dignity to die. And the love, you know, I could give that to someone whether I know them or not. You are loved. You have dignity. Go home, do what you need to do. Wherever you. Wherever your peace, wherever the place that you believe. I don't, you know, I'm not there to change people's faith or belief or spiritual realm. Nothing. But I do know we all where. It doesn't matter what we believe in, that there's something better than this place. There's a spirit world, there's whatever you want to call it, you know, there's some place much better that brings such peace. It stirred up to me as a nun, as a sister. For some reason, God put me in place. Places, even when I was in my lowest place would put me someone who was dying. He prayed with them and they would die. Don't even know them, whatever. And then. And then just recently in the last two years, I was told I or somebody said, do you know, you could be certified. You mean you could get paid for this to be with, you know, you could do your service. And. And I was like, oh, my God, I would have been rich by now. But so I. I mean, I'm. I don't do it for the money. You know, I. And sometimes it's even hard for me to take, you know, to say this is what I caused, because I just want to be with them. I want to help you.
[00:32:59] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:00] Speaker B: As well as help the family the best I can, Whatever I can. However. Yeah. To help them at this challenging time, this difficult time. Because. Because everyone deals with death differently. People are afraid, losing a loved one, them, themselves. But I've seen a lot of. I have what I say, a lot of, like, transformation when they do die. Like, I see a lot of, like, experience peace and something that I'm like, wow. And then God always shows me, like, they're in good hands. They're in good hands.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Do you think. You think that when they're passing at that stage, is that. That's the portal opening up to the other higher dimensions taking them in, and you're just standing at the doorway, you're getting the wash of like. Like aircon, you know, on a hot day when you open a store and that wash comes out. And it's just the spirit, the wash of Holy Spirit coming through. And you get to feel that. And that's the peace.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: That's the peace. And even today, I may not be with someone present who is dying, but sometimes when I'm meditating or praying, to me, heaven is a veil away. So all my loved ones, absolutely. Mom and dad and Danny, everyone, they're right here with us. Even at this moment, even as I share with you, I could feel their presence. And I. I know their presence. And sometimes people come to me, you know, like, I will forget and like, oh, yeah, you know, I mean, things. Things happen. I can't question it. I try to be as open to God's grace as possible. So I do. I do believe, especially when you're with someone who is taking their last breath. Breath, or at that final stages, you know, you feel a sense of peace. But then. Yeah. And I have to say, cj, there are times I've been at someone's bedside where I. I sense darkness. Like, I sense the. The evil. Like the battle. The battle of the soul.
[00:34:55] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: And, yeah. A couple. Few times as a nun, it's like. And it's like, okay, let's pray. Throw the holy water or know. In the name of Jesus, I rebuke and protect you, St. Michael. Get the angels, surrounding angels. The light. Come in, come in. And everything I can. And ultimately God does win. Yeah, ultimately. But yet sometimes God puts that on my heart. Say, okay, keep praying that there's something, you know, you could just sense it. Nope, be gone, Be gone. No, no, no, no, no.
[00:35:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. The nasties, you don't need them around.
[00:35:27] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Because. Because, you know, I do believe that there are those spirits that want to, you know, just, you know, they just. They want to, you know, hinder you and they want to make things. And it's. It's our negativity. It's everything. Like, they're, like, behind it all at times. And that's where today I, you know, I continue my faith, my prayers, practice. I stand strong in my. Who I am because. Because now I know I'm a sober woman of faith today. I know who I am. And I'm an alcoholic. But yet most of all, I am a child of God. I'm a child of the spirit, whatever the universe, in the brightness. I'm a light today. I'm a light. And then hopefully be. Be able to spread that light or. Or God or the Spirit to spread that light through me, because I can't do it on my own or it's not me.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: How would you. Would you describe your relationship with God now compared to before your spiritual journey began?
[00:36:26] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. It has changed dramatically. Even as a nun. I mean, I was married to him. And believe it or not, cj he's the same God that was with me throughout my life. You know, throughout that pain. He was the same person, the same God. But my. Like, now I'm so open. I'm honest, open and willing with him. I'm. I'm like. It's just. I can't explain. Explain it, but it's just. It's a hundred times better today. And. And each day it gets better. It's like one day at a time, it gets better. As long as I stay open, as long as I don't pick up a drink, as long as I know what to do. You know, I. I just keep turning to him because, you know, ever since. Okay, now I'm back in the rooms. And. Because the rooms. AA is a real spiritual program, so they really gave me a big kick in the butt, even though I was a nun, thinking I knew it all at the time. That's what I knew. And I'm not discrediting it. I'm not. I'm, you know, thanking God. That's what I knew. But today is totally different. Like, my eyes, heart and mind is open to. To God, to the universe, to the energy, everything, everything. Everything that's positive. Because it only makes me a better person today, but, you know, better version of myself today. So as long as I can listen and pray and be teachable, remain teachable, it gets better. It just gets better every day. Get rid of the old, bring on the new.
[00:37:49] Speaker A: It sounds like your relationship with God is a very personal relationship with God. Do you believe that everyone can have that sort of relationship?
[00:37:56] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, Everybody. Everybody has that personal relationship with God, whether they know it or not. And God will show it to them in due time or whatever time or in any way. I always say there's a. There's God, there's a higher power. There's somebody that's not cj, not Gina, not Johnny, that's greater. The spirit that is greater than us. And, yes, we all have that. We do have that relationship, because I always believe, and this is my own personal belief, is that we were born from light. We were born. There was. There's such light within us, and that's where we came from. This big beaming light. This is how I look at it. But throughout our life, you Know, throw dirt on it or things happen on life. Trauma, trauma. But that light's still shining within us. Like, that light was always within me, even though I was insecure, even though I went through all that trauma, even though I hated God and everything. And then when I. For me, when I came to realize, wow, my problem was that I was an alcoholic. I was a runner. I ran away. I didn't look at myself. And here I come into a program where not only helps me to stop drinking, but it also helps me to live life. It helps me to get rid of all that darkness and all that junk that I was carrying. And you know what I see? There's light. There's still light. And that light always remains. And that's how I look at it. That's how what I perceive, and that's what I feel. And the light keeps beaming. And then, you know, days, things happen. Challenges. Because life goes on right with me without me. Death happens with me without me. So when things happen, I may not like it. Okay? I may not like this God, you know, and I have to. And it's the source within. So I go into my source within and that relationship and that love and that peace and that light, saying, okay, I need a breather. What do you want me to do? Yeah, I'm not a good listener, but just show me. And then the last thing I will share is that because I have tasted the darkness of dark in my life. I've tasted that. I don't want to go back there again. I don't want to go back there. I taste light. I taste peace. And it's. It's not perfect, but yet it keeps me going. Now it's like, yeah, I want more of this. I want more of this. Yeah. And I want to share with others because. Because, you know, I do believe we each have a story to be told. God unfolds our story, and. And he's God. I say God. Higher power, spiritual realm. Someone that. That keeps you going, that, you know, that's giving you that breath in the morning. Because we're not doing it on our own.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: So what message would you like to impart to anyone listening who may be struggling with their own adversity, especially those facing loss or addiction?
[00:40:35] Speaker B: Yes. I always like to say, do not give up. Know that you're not alone. Do not be discouraged. That you are loved, that you are loved. And then I also like to add to them that it's okay to feel. It's okay to have those feelings, but just keep moving forward. Do not Give up just one step. There's so many resources out there. My website is ginaecon.com but yet the last thing I would always say, not only that you are loved, that if nobody told you that they love you right now, I do.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: That's a wonderful message. Thank you, Gina, for sharing all that of your life experience, the tough cycles you've been through and then coming through with that resilience which was gifted to you by the community of AA and also by your attachment and connection with God and faith. So that's a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing all that with me and the listeners. I really appreciate your time.
[00:41:28] Speaker B: Well, thank you, C.J. and thank you for your service and to all your listeners.
[00:41:32] Speaker A: Okay. All right, let's say goodbye to listeners.
Gina's been through a lot, and that was a real hard story. It did sound like she'd been through some, I would even say, like, karmic events where she's basically been gifted a life of struggle and toughness. To be able to give her resilience through other tough times and then to work with people that are on the edge of passing over is a really strong gift from spirit in the end there. So if you've enjoyed today's show, remember to reach out to Gina if you can, ginaecon.com and say hello and tell her that you've enjoyed the show. And if you are on YouTube, give me a like and subscribe. That would be really nice. Thank you so much. And if you're on a podcast app you've enjoyed today's show, rate it 5 stars and share it to a friend. That'd be really appreciated. Until next episode, it's bye for now.
