Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: The me of light presents him with this present. It's a golden box with a purple ribbon, and in it I tell him it's his. It's his life is Mister Virgil. And at any point he can open it up and look inside and remember and relive all of these amazing experiences. And it was so beautiful. And he was just like, oh, but I've had so, I've done so many sinful things. I've done things that are not right. And the me of light looked at him, and in that moment, I loved him so much. I loved him with every part of my being.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Welcome to supernormalize the podcast, where we challenge the conventional break boundaries and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, CJ Barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life. Experience each episode I'm blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world, where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you're looking to upgrade your life, you've come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe, and I'll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners. If you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge that you'd love to share, reach out to me at supernormalizedroton me. Let's together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual. What it really is completely normal. Today on supernormalize we have Helen Gretchen Jones. She's a certified death doula, intuitive and channel, and she actually works with people and their families at the end of life sequence. And this is a really, really deep and interesting episode.
She talks about how she does this process and also about her book that she's just released in August. So if you're worried about death, or you have somebody that's going to pass soon, or you're just curious about ndes and the possibility of the other side and the potential of our eternal life, this is a great episode I'm sure you'll enjoy. Please enjoy.
Welcome to Supernormalized Helen Rachen Jones. Helen, you're a death dueler. That is quite a task to for somebody to actually do because death is a pretty much a scary sort of subject for most people. So got to ask you, first of all, what drew you to this and how did you get here? Welcome to the podcast.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: Thanks.
I have always had a connection to spirit. I've always had, I've been able to see or feel energies around me. So I think that aspect has always been there, even at a very, very early age. But when my father transitioned in 2015, his death, he was in his fifties. So while it was not completely unexpected for me, it was for some of my sisters, and there was a lack of closure. There were so many things left unsaid, so much hurt that still needed to be worked through. And I thought if there was a way to keep that from happening to other families, I would love to be a part of that. And when I learned about a death doula, and I learned that part of their job is to bring closure and peace to families, I thought, that's it. That's what I want to do.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: That's awesome. And very brave as well, because, yeah, like I said, it's quite scary for some people.
I've been through a lot of experiences that took me into the realms of death, and I came back, and one of those was when I was a child, I drowned at the age of five. And to me, it was beautiful.
I sort of erased a lot of that fear, which is really nice. But that's not to say that I'm like a hedonist and would go half a leather doing crazy extreme sports or anything like that. But, yeah, for a lot of people, it's a very scary sort of thing to actually even have to face. In fact, a lot of our society sort of shuns death as a part of our life process. So what was it like for you before you became a death doula? I mean, did what actually first prompted you to go, well, I'm going to do this. This is. This is my calling.
[00:05:07] Speaker A: So it's my calling for now. I just always wait to see what direction, God, universe, my higher self, spirit, whatever word will unfold for me. When. Before I was a mom, I was a stay at home mom, actually, and raising kids, and we had a family business, it was very, very, you know, by all accounts, socially normal. But I was doing my meditations, and I was having regular connection to my team and spirit, who I call a team. And they were always giving me messages of to consider compassion from different perspectives. And they would always insist that I put myself in someone else's shoes, not to see what I would do different, not to, not what I would change in any way, but to simply be in their shoes and try to understand what their experiencing. So that unfolded in many ways throughout my life, whether it was working with neighbors or family members or any of my volunteer efforts in the community, it was really centered around compassion. And so when the. When I heard about a death doula.
I thought, like I mentioned earlier, that I really wanted to be a part of that peaceful process. But more than that, I.
I.
When I started working with people who were dying, my gifts in the dying community started to unfold. I would get information about when a closer time, when the person would actually transition. So I would be able to prepare the family more. I would be able to connect more strongly into their deceased loved ones who would appear to them before they transitioned. So all of these things were really exciting to me, and it really pushed me down that path a little further. I feel like death is one of those things that, like you said, none of us want to talk about. And so, hopefully, by sharing my book and sharing my stories, we can normalize discussions around death and dying and also around the spiritual experiences that happen around death and dying.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: Yeah, that's excellent. That's a very good thing to do. Now, I know for myself, death in my family, it's been a little challenging, and I couldn't face that. When I was younger, even though I had my own experiences, I still couldn't face. My parents were actually going to go, you know, and when they did go was still surprising and everything.
How do you manage that sort of process for the family? I mean, you know, it must be something quite tricky to navigate at times.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: It is. And every family has a different process, which we need to navigate. So some are very, very faith based, and you recognize what their faith is, and you can approach them within the confines or structure of their religion. Other families are not so religious, and they're very, very focused around the physical pain that their loved one might feel, the fear of suffering, the idea that this is the final goodbye. So we sort of navigate and negotiate what they're willing to accept in that moment. So, for me, seeing spirit bedside, if I feel that the family is open to hearing those accounts, then I share. And in many cases, those are received very, very well and fills the family with hope that this is not the final goodbye.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Now, as a part of the process of doing your work with people that are preparing to cross over, do you find that they are. They start to get contact with some of their ancestors, some of their relatives that have already passed as well. Cause, I mean, I found that that was happening for my father, so he was getting connecting.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Absolutely. So most of the time, I would say that's in the last couple of weeks, but not always. I have had many patients where this can start months before, actually.
[00:09:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: Yeah. So. Especially those with terminal illnesses. So.
And I think it kind of depends on the openness of the person.
But when there's a lot of fear around death, when we are first, for example, diagnosed with a terminal illness, we try to fight it, right? We're going to keep death at bay. It's something that we're going to fight for as long as we can. And when we recognize that we don't have any more fight left in us and that this is an inevitable death is inevitable for us, then we start to move into a little bit more acceptance. We start to get our affairs in order, and we even could be angry at that as well. But in the last or so, and, you know, whenever we have deceased loved ones coming in, that fear starts to resolve. People are fearful, like, what's it gonna feel like? You know, is the final breath? Am I gonna suffer? I'm afraid to go to sleep. What if I don't wake up again? All these fears surface. But when they start to see beings of light and deceased loved ones coming around at their bedside, it offers them so much joy and excitement that that fear is released. And if you are blessed enough to be able to have your loved one express verbally that that's what they're experiencing, then it gives the family left behind also hope and peace.
But you can see patients reaching for loved ones, appearing to have conversations that look to be one sided, but they really aren't. And all of those give all of us who are still here hope. And it also lifts that fear around those who are dying, that they aren't alone, and that this isn't the final stop.
[00:10:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Nice. And how common is that, do you think that from your experience of working in this field for so long? So how common does that happen?
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Oh, I would say 99% of the time, almost every single time.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: So it's definitely not uncommon.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: No, it's not uncommon. And most of the time, I can experience it with them. There's been a few cases where I did not see anything happening. It doesn't mean it wasn't. I just wasn't maybe tuned in, in the right frequency for that to be able to observe it.
And also the family maybe wasn't open to such things, so they weren't, you know, aware of any influences from the spirit world coming in to assist. But most of the time, this is happening, and it happens for good reason, because we are spirit of utilizing a human form to have an experience. So we're not really going anywhere. We're just not going to be focused in our human form.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: That's it? Yeah, that's exactly. It. We just change frequencies. Really?
[00:11:46] Speaker A: That's it?
[00:11:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: We shift our focus.
[00:11:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
How do you approach the process of working with people? I mean, like, the people's say, okay, like, I've heard about you. Do you want to come along? I have a talk to my parent. What happens?
[00:12:08] Speaker A: So when someone asks me to come and talk to their loved one, or it's a loved one asking me to come talk to their family, that also happens. Actually, I would say that happens more than the other way around.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Well, that's interesting. You're finding more people are more comfortable with death then has been in the past.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: I actually think I am. And I don't know if it's because. Yeah, it is. And I'm hoping it's not just because of, you know, how you. I don't know. I believe that you get what you put into the world. So I hope that it's not just because that's where I'm focusing on helping people find that peace, so they find me in that way. I really hope it's a big global shift where people are hoping. Hoping to reach out to people beforehand and really explore what happens before death and not be afraid of it. That's what I would really like to see that shift happen. So as far as I'm concerned, it's happening more frequently, but I don't know if it's happening more frequently all the time or if it's just what I'm encountering.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. We can only speak to him from your perspective.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: Okay. So they contact you to, you know, ease the change for either their family members or they contact you, get contacted. So the person who was crossing, has their change processed, eased.
How does a session of that sort of play out? I mean, what sort of methods do you employ?
[00:13:36] Speaker A: It varies.
Let me just go from the perspective of a patient has reached out, and they would like for me to talk to their family. That does seem to be more common right now. Yeah. I arrived. They have gathered their family somehow.
They introduce me to them, and initially there's sort of a wall up. Everyone's like, who is a stranger coming in to?
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Is this with my mom?
[00:14:00] Speaker A: Yeah. What is going on?
[00:14:03] Speaker B: I got a bedroom.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And I start to immediately feel which person is going to need my assistance most. They, I don't know, kind of pop out their face pops out in the crowd more, and I'm more drawn into them. And it's usually the person who is fearful, who is already processing grief of the loss before the loss has already happened. It's a person typically, who's feeling more overwhelmed. And then as I start to talk to them as a group first and then individually, I do find that that's usually the case. Every person needs something different. So I have to intuitively tune into each person and sort of allow that intuition to guide how I'm going to serve. And for a lot of people, finding out what to look for, giving them. Here are the steps that your loved ones go, the physical steps that your loved one's going to experience, that gives them a roadmap to look for with their eyes, and that makes them feel like there's a structure, like something that they can really adhere to and follow, and then they'll be able to prepare themselves more. And then I start to introduce the spiritual aspects. And people, most of the time, are really, really open to that because nobody wants to believe that this is the last time they're going to see their mom or their dad or their grandmother. So as they open to that, they find themselves also looking for those signs and being open to being able to experience something like that. Then you know what happens? They start to look for those signs throughout their life anyway. It opens them up on a different spiritual level, just in life in general.
[00:15:44] Speaker B: Okay, what is that roadmap? I mean, is there, is there like a regular set of steps that actually happens?
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Yes. So hospice has, I would like to say also, since for anyone who hears this, you do not have to wait until the last moments of someone's death to employ hospice. Hospice is charitable. If you don't have insurance, you can still be on hospice. And hospice uses a platform that says, hey, if a doctor says it wouldn't surprise them if you were to die in the next six months, then you're eligible. And they are so helpful. They have so many resources and tools. They have volunteers that come and help. They have doctors and nurses and caregivers, medicine. Everything is there for you. So please, if this is even something that is happening, it isn't a sign of giving up. It's a sign of you using all of the resources possible to help this be as smooth as possible. And once you agree to go on hospice, you can come right off. It's okay. It's not like you're permanently on hospice. If you don't want to be, you can take yourself off. Okay, now that I've said that and really pushed hospice, I mean, I think it's so important.
I've actually now lost track of the question.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: We were talking about the roadmap.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: Oh, yes. They will supply you, um, if you actually read their little pamphlet with all the things, what happens two to four months before death? What happens, you know, uh, zero to two months before death? One, you know, break it down even by weeks and even into minutes. It is the most fantastic list of things that you're going to see. Um, one of the first signs that your loved one is going to be moving into a sooner death would be when they, most of them are bedridden and they start to get bed sores, things like that. But when they stop healing, when their organ, the skin, stops healing because all of their energy is being put to heart, lungs, and brain at that time, they start to eat less because the digestion process is no longer needed, because they don't need all that energy anymore to move their body. And a lot of I see this all the time. People are like, just eat. Like, they feel like they really want to force their loved one to eat or drink. And quite frankly, that's not helpful because then that food just sits there because the digestive process has already slowed and in some cases, even almost to a complete stop. So it's an uncomfortable thing that starts to make them very gassy and bloated, and it's actually an uncomfortable thing to force your loved one to eat because you're thinking they need that energy. They're already starting to shut down in many ways. So, yes, hospice supplies a very beautiful list of what to expect for the physical, all the physical signs of a person as they near death.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Mm hmm. Yeah, that's interesting. I recall when my mother was on the edge of passing and she'd only eat biscuits.
It's like, that's good for her, biscuits and protein drinks, but, yeah. Yeah. It was a bit disturbing for me and my sister at the time, but, yeah.
Wow. Okay, so can you share any experiences that particularly impacted you and shaped your understanding of life and death?
[00:19:08] Speaker A: Worse, I had one patient, misses Wilma. Of course, I'm changing names.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: When I walked in to visit misses Wilma, she was a patient of Noda. Noda is a program that's hospital based. It stands for no one dies alone. It's for individuals who don't have family, who maybe never had kids, or maybe they're the last of their kind, or family can't afford to come in, or they were jerks and burned all those bridges and nobody wants to be there. It could be for a number of reasons. Regardless, they're dying alone, and they ask for volunteers to come in and sit in three hour shifts. And I volunteered to go sit with Misses Wilma.
When I sat there, I closed my eyes. I was holding. I was sitting beside her on the right side and my left hand was holding her right hand. And when I opened, I was just kind of doing a prayer or a little meditation for her. And when I opened my eyes, there was a younger version of Misses Wilma standing there. She was about ten or twelve years old.
She had her hair twisted in little pigtails. She was in her Sunday best.
I guess it was important to mention early on that she is a black woman. And the reason that this is important is because she was trying to teach me in her final moments, which is beautiful, that we are all connected. And she was teaching me that through pointing out that most of her life and childhood was segregated, so separated through her color of skin in our country. And then she had issues of separation with her partner and some of her children in her life. And here she was separated from family and dying alone. So she had this sort of overarching theme of separation throughout her entire life. And what that actually taught her was the beauty of connection.
And so the hospital room kind of overlaid it like transformed into this amazing forest. And she was showing me this tree and she was like, this tree looks like an individual tree and every root thinks that it's its own life, and every branch thinks it's its own life. And every branch branching off of the branch thinks it's its own life. And every single leaf thinks it's its own life. But really it's all connected. It's all part of this one big tree. And when you pull back, the tree is part of this forest and even further, it's part of this big ecosystem. Nothing is separate, everything is connected and everything is one. So that was a beautiful transformative experience that misses wilma had that I got to have with her.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Wow. Wow, that's. That's huge.
It sounded like you actually had like an experiential phenomenon when you were in her presence. Has that happened to you often?
[00:22:01] Speaker A: Happens all the time. Like a shared death experience. You mean like where I'm experiencing something with her or him? Separate?
[00:22:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Like physically happening?
[00:22:09] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, sure.
[00:22:11] Speaker A: I have another story which is really interesting and it's one of my newer experiences that I'm really hoping for more of. And it's a story with mister Virgil, also a noda patient.
I had been up late, it was already after 1230 and I'm an early bird. I like to go to bed like at ten. And I saw that a message came in that noda was looking for a volunteer to sit with a new patient. I had this gut feeling that I needed to go, but it was late and all the good slots were already taken. You know, like the day slot. Nobody wants the midnight to 03:00 a.m. shift.
So I did see there was a 06:00 a.m. shift, which means I would have to get up at 430 to get ready, get dressed and drive down to the hospital. So I told my team in spirit, all right, guys, if I'm really supposed to be there, you're going to wake me up. I'm so tired. I'm not going to set an alarm. 428. They wake me up to the sound of colors by the black Pumas playing in my head. So if you haven't heard that song, it's awesome.
Okay, so I.
I'm like, okay, so I very tired. I get up, I like, force myself to get dressed and get in the car, and I start driving. I flip on the radio in the car and colors by the black Pumas is playing again. And I had this knowing that my patient was going to be black, he was going to be male. I had an approximation of his age, and I also knew he was going to be suffering with anxiety around death. So none of that is really important to me, going and sitting with them. But it's my team and spirit's way of knowing that they're giving me a little information ahead of time so that when I walk in, it's validated. Then I know that I'm really connected to my team in spirit. I think it's just a validating set of information. So I walk in. Of course, Mister Virgil matches all of that. And I sit down bedside with him.
He's having constant panic attacks. They've given him anxiety meds that don't seem to be working. And he's already moved into, I don't know, unconsciousness. He's no longer able to hold conversation, but his body is still processing and looping through anxiety attacks. It's really hard to watch sometimes.
So I put my hands on him. I tried to bring him peace by physically touching him. And sometimes that helps with people going through anxiety, and it didn't work. So then I decided I would connect to him on a soul level. And when I did, the entire hospital room transformed into this amazing field, this beautiful meadow with blue skies and green grass. And every single blade of grass emanated light from inside. Every single leaf, every single tree, everything was life and was emanating light from the inside out. And we're standing in this meadow. And by the way, that matches the lyrics of the black puma song colors.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: So.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: So I was just like, oh, this is how it's all connecting. And so I'm standing there. So I'm very much aware of sitting in the hospital with Mister Virgil. And physical, physically. And I'm also aware that I am in this other world with Mister Virgil. Looking at a forest, I can hear a welcome home party happening just beyond the forest. It's very common. Welcome home parties are very common on the other side. I never get to go beyond them, but I get to join them. So, um, I. I can hear it. I know we have to go through the forest to get there. He has so much anxiety around this. We walk up to the forest and he stops and he just refuses to go in. And this being of light appears. And she's huge. She's blue and she's glowing blue and white light and she's massive. And I just. She was safe. And she was so beautiful. And I look at her and I recognize that it's me. I am now in three places at once. I know this sounds way out there. It is one of the. Probably the most transformative experience I've ever had. So I am aware of myself in three worlds at once. And I have a perspective of all three of those all merging at once. And it doesn't seem confusing or strange, it just was. And it made all sense in the moment.
The me of light presents him with this present. It's a golden box with a purple ribbon. And in it I tell him it's his. It's his life as Mister Virgil. And at any point he can open it up and look inside and remember and relive all of these amazing experiences. And it was so beautiful. And he was just like, oh, but I've had so. I've done so many sinful things. I've done things that are not right. And the me of light looked at him. And in that moment I loved him so much. I loved him with every part of my being. He could have done the most horrible, heinous act and it wouldn't have mattered. It didn't matter at all. I loved him with all that I was. And it didn't matter what he was ever going to do, what he was never going to do. None of that mattered. Ever. He was perfect. And that's. That's a kind of love that I got to tell you, I've never felt for anyone except for Mister Virgil. So even with my kids, right, I love them unconditionally, but I do put expectations on them. This is what I want you to do. I want you to finish your broccoli and I want you to sit up straight. I want you to go to college. You know, those kind of things. Uh, with Mister Virgil, I was just like. It didn't matter what he did or didn't do, he was perfect. And I loved him. So, um, he felt safe enough to go with the me of light into the woods. And as we were walking, he had another panic attack and he got scared again. And the forest fell away and we were under a backdrop of stars. I grew even bigger. I scooped him up like a child. I held him, I kissed the top of his head, I rocked him until he felt safe. And I was trying to make him feel safe and loved and completely supported.
He did. We moved on and eventually we make it to the edge of the forest where the party was happening. Oh. And that's when he asks what's going to happen to my nephew and my uncle.
And the me of light shows him like a projection of potential possibilities and probabilities for outcomes for both of these people. And in that moment, I was no longer allowed to have that perspective. I shot back to the observer in the field. It was as though I couldn't know as a human still what the possibilities and probabilities for these two other two humans were. And when that was over, he felt ready to go. But that's when the me of light was able to have that. I was able to have the third perspective again. So it was one of the most transformative experiences for me. And I now work with my team in spirit and I'm asking them for more experiences like that. To be in not just two worlds at once, that happens regularly, but I want to be in more than that at one time. So that's what I'm actually now working personally towards.
[00:28:52] Speaker B: Wow. But that's all I can say is, wow, that is huge. And like, you're, you know, you literally are bridging many worlds and that's a shemetic act in itself. Wow. Yes.
[00:29:05] Speaker A: And you know, it's so funny because it feels like, how is that even possible? When I tell the story, but in the moment it felt so normal. It felt just complete sense. It made complete sense.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: It all makes sense to me. Look, I've been in many worlds myself too. Not to steal away your fire there, but I. I've experienced similar things. And it's when you're in those worlds, they're just as real as here, you know?
[00:29:32] Speaker A: In fact, would you mind sharing?
[00:29:34] Speaker B: Oh, they're big stories. So I'm actually writing a book about it and I'll get it out there one day.
I've been writing it for nearly 20 years now, so it's been taking.
[00:29:44] Speaker A: No wonder it's so big.
A lot of experiences.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a lot of experiences that have happened. But yeah, I found when I go into those worlds, I see my spirit team. And nearly every time, it's like you said that the worker home party. Every. Every time I've been there, they were like, oh my God, he's finally here.
And they're so excited. And they run around me like crazy. And.
And I know them. I've known them forever.
It feels like I'm sitting almost at a fireside sort of situation and they're all just sitting there smiling like, oh my God, it's so good to see you. And that's the welcome home party for me. And so I know that these spaces are real. I've been to them. And to hear your story just touch me, that's amazing. And I think more people don't need to realize that. Yeah. Like we talked about before, it's a change. Change of perspective. It's not exactly death, you know?
[00:30:40] Speaker A: And that's right.
[00:30:41] Speaker B: One of the things I've noticed from reading a lot of nD. Sorry. Seeing a lot of NDE videos on YouTube and reading some NDE books, is it pretty much everything is forgiven.
When we cross over, everything is forgiven. We're just playing the part that we're meant to play.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think if there's anything that's not forgiven, it's anything that we put on ourselves. Like Mister Virgil not wanting to go into the forest because he felt like he had sinned.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, but that's.
Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot in that.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:14] Speaker B: That needs to be released as well. Yeah. When my father passed a. I wasn't there. I was actually at home and I was in bed and dreaming. And then in a moment I heard his voice calling out to me and he was asking for help. And I projected myself to where he was. And I could see that he was in what would be termed a loabado. And I've been to those places before and they're dark and it's hot and it's sweaty and there's lots of confused people all bumping into each other. They're just all lost souls, confused. And I pulled him out of there and sent him towards the light. And he was good.
And he thanked me for that later through a medium. But, yeah, some of these places can be very, very disturbing, and they can also be also places to get stuck, but not necessarily to be scared of, because you can actually get past them. And there's always beings there to help.
[00:32:12] Speaker A: Just have to ask.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: That's it? You just got to ask? Yeah, because sometimes. Sometimes you might forget to ask, but then you've. That's because you've not used to reaching out for help.
[00:32:23] Speaker A: So it's, you know, that's something that. That's something that I've actually been journaling. Um, I've been, you know, I go and I journal all of my experiences with my patients, and I don't know if there's any. Any truth to this yet. It's just the. What looks to be true in my journals so far is that people who are not used to asking for help and people who are not used to allowing themselves to receive love, it's easy to love other people sometimes. It's hard to let yourself receive that love. Are the people who have these longer terminal illnesses. It's like they're forced to surrender in the end to be cared for, to be loved and to receive it, or it's another opportunity to do so right at the end. And because of that, whenever someone says, oh, hey, you know, thank you for doing that, I no longer say, oh, no problem. Now I say, you're welcome. I actually say it, which is harder for me to do, but it's a way of receiving love and honoring their gratitude. Or if someone says, you know, something nice, I just say, oh, thank you. Instead of saying, oh, no, it's brushing it off. Because I want to be someone who receives that love and allows myself. And it's small, I know, but it's a good place to start, to be open and vulnerable.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: It's very important. I think I've done some, like, uh, like therapy sort of processes in groups. And one of the things that I did as a group, um, was being able to say yes, and figuring out what yes is, and then be able to say no, and figuring out no is. And it was really interesting being challenged on things because, um, the people that were guiding were saying, okay, now say something random and horrible to each other, and the other people can say no to you. And. And you'd go around and people were just saying odd things to you, and, like, you got to it. You got actually got to this point where you go, I know what a no is, and I know what a yes is before then, you don't really know what you can do. But I think that's an important process. Do you think you'll be including any of that sort of understanding and connection to self and self love and also love of others with a bit more authenticity and honesty in your work?
[00:34:29] Speaker A: So I definitely included some of that in my book already.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:34:32] Speaker A: And the book is called Healing Whispers from spirit guides. But moving forward, it is definitely something that I teach, and I say I use the term loosely. It's not like I'm holding a class somewhere, but if I'm sitting with patients or their families, I'm teaching them how to, I don't know, express their gratitude, how to be vulnerable, and that it's okay to let go in these very stressful moments around death. So all of that's very important. And I encourage people to not wait until a moment like death or severe illness for people to start exploring what it feels like to really express what you're feeling and to be vulnerable and to not fear that judgment?
[00:35:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
As a death doula, do you actually also work with the families after they've passed to actually help foster a connection between those living and those have passed?
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Not everyone's open to that, but I've had a handful of families that have, and I absolutely have worked with them. And when they get to a point where they need a little bit more advanced work or they need a little bit more something that's out of my wheelhouse, I have a really good list, a resource list of people who are able to expand upon what I've started. And so I'm really grateful for that.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: Nice. Nice. Yeah. I know for myself that a lot of people don't realize that when people have passed, they're usually just hanging around. They want to, they want to have a chat, and sometimes they want to tell you something and sometimes they just want to be there for you. And an example of that recently, my wife last night, she's quite open to the connection with spirits. And her grandmother turned up and started playing with the lights. And she figured out it was her. Umar and Auruma started talking to her through the lights and, you know, flickering them when she was, you know, giving her yes or no questions and everything like that. And then it got to a point and almost said, I've got to go. And then she went and the light just went back to normal. And I stood there and watched the whole process. Yes. Stood there and watched the whole process. And she was really happy to have her in where I drop in like that. And I really respect that she's actually open to that, too, because, you know, a lot of people think once they're gone, they're gone. That's not actually true. True.
[00:36:52] Speaker A: No. In fact, I. And maybe you've found this to be true as well, but that first year, in our linear time, it really feels like that spirit is wanting to connect. I feel like they come through more quickly and easily during that first year after their death. And then afterwards, it's almost like you got to send out an invitation, like, hey, I'm ready to connect to you. It just really feels really strong that first year afterwards. So I encourage people to take advantage of that.
[00:37:20] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I mean, there's a lot of traditions in different societies that, you know, can be just as simple as pouring out a drink for them, you know, or lighting.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: Oh, I do that.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: I put an extra plate at Thanksgiving or something.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Or lighting a candle for them on their birthday and things like that. I mean, there's a beautiful little things you can do. And some people even have, like, a. A shelf at home for all the people that have passed and with their photos. And that's. That's a way of honoring them, too.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: Yes, definitely.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So tell us more about your book. What. What does it cover?
[00:37:54] Speaker A: So I. In the book, I was told I was going to write a book in June, 3 years ago, and I woke up to a voice telling me, you're going to write a book. And I recognize the voice as one of my spirit guides. But what was so interesting is it didn't originate inside my head, which is where normally things like a download will come through. You know, this one was like, it was right in front of my face, but I couldn't see anything. It was like I could feel the voice right here. And I was just like, write a book. Like, I've never wanted to write a book. I don't feel qualified to write a book.
What would I even write about? And they said, write what you know. And I really thought about what I know, and I really don't know a lot about a particular anything, maybe a little about a lot of different things. And then I remembered I had my journals and my journals that I've been keeping on my patients for years. And so I thought, okay, I'm going to write some of these really incredible, transformative bedside experiences that some of my patients have had and that I've had with them. And I'm also. There's a chapter.
There will be chapters on individual patients and their journeys towards death, and a preceding chapter about teachings and lessons that I've learned throughout the process of working with spirit and helping people die. And then, of course, a patient story that's relevant in some way. I end each chapter with a channeling from my team in spirit, who I call a team. And that's. That's pretty much the book. And it has some exercises in there for people to try on their own. It's. I love it. I think it's beautiful.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: And how long has this book been out now?
[00:39:32] Speaker A: It came out in August. It just came out.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Okay. All right. This is partially a book launch.
[00:39:39] Speaker A: It sure is.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: Okay. So is there any questions you think I should have asked that I didn't ask?
[00:39:50] Speaker A: Let me think real quick.
I would like to say a couple of things around the moments after death and right at death, if that's okay.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: Yeah, sure. Please do.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: So one of my patients, mister a, was going to be transitioning, and I didn't want to leave him alone. He was one of my first patients. I still had this misconception that I needed to be present for the last breath, and that's really not the case.
And I could go on about that for anybody who feels guilty in any way for not being present at the last breath of their loved one. But you do not need to be. You can be across the world. Time and space does not really matter in that way.
But I was nervous about leaving him, and my team and spirit said, why don't you write him a love letter?
And I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I'm a very visual person, so I closed my eyes, and I imagined this space that I knew Mister a would love. A waterfall, lush, greenery, everything that we had talked about from some of his favorite places that he traveled to outside of India. And so I imagined that, and I just filled myself up with so much love that I had for him. And the, you know, my intention was just to fill it with all the beautiful things that I wanted him to experience. Joy, love, gratitude, all of it. And I just kind of infused it into that image that I was thinking in that moment. And I left it there in time and space for him, you know, and spirit, my team and spirit assured me that he would receive it when he transitioned. It would just be left there for him to have that experience.
And he did not end up transitioning then it turned out it was going to be another couple of years. He was. He really. He was on hospice for five years. So he was one of my longest patients. He's fantastic.
But these love letters have been an important part of what I do all the time. Now, if I see someone on a bicycle that really is struggling to get up that hill, I make send them a love letter. It only takes a few seconds. If I see an ambulance going by, I send a love letter to the person inside, or who's about to be inside any of those things, anything that crosses my mind. I've left a love letter for every one of my family members, you know, from my friends. I'm leaving love letters all over time and space. I'm just cluttering it all up out there.
But they made me feel like, and I don't understand this part, that when our loved ones receive that love letter, that it actually lifts them in spirit somehow. And I don't understand what the lifting is. That was the feeling that they made me have, but I'm going with it. I'm like, okay, it's going to lift them somehow. So I. That's part of my intention.
And in addition to that, I would like to add that in almost every case that I have been a part of, when the person takes their last breath, they are not in their bodies. They're actually standing outside their body, watching their body take the last breath, observing from a different plane. And the reason that this is important is because when people are watching their loved one die, the body's going through its natural process of shutting down. Our human side can look at that body and think that body is suffering. That body is struggling to take that last breath. You can hear the crackling in the breath, and it can be very unsettling at times. So the reality is, though, your loved one is standing outside their body. And this kind of experience is supported by a lot of nders when they are like, oh, I was at the roof of the hospital while they're doing CPR on me. You know, I wasn't actively don't have to be present for that moment of suffering or that hard part of having your ribs cracked through CPR and having the heart pumped so hard, and you go back in afterwards. And in my cases, though, these patients don't go back in. They go ahead and go on to their welcome home party. But I just thought maybe it would be important to remind people that even though you're perceiving suffering, the body itself is going through its process of shutting down. But the patient, your loved one, is standing outside observing with you.
[00:43:53] Speaker B: Mmm. Yeah, that's very important. I'll share an experience for that. My grandmother had, and which was a little disturbing. It's a bit different in that. So my grandfather had passed and it was nearly two years later, and my grandmother was on her deathbed and she died of a heart attack. And the family voted to give her a pacemaker.
Then she was given a pacemaker and brought back to life. And I went and visited with her about two years later, and she said, I said, are you okay? And she looked really out of sorts. And she said, look, I don't know what's wrong, but I can't die.
I was like, what?
And I said that that's terrible. But she really just wanted to be with her husband.
And because of the medical intervention that kept her here for longer.
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Yes.
That is hard to hear, especially when someone's ready to go. Yeah, she was telling me that's heartbreaking in some ways, but the truth of that is that when it was her time to go, I'm sure she felt completely overjoyed and free.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: And maybe it gave the family an opportunity to find closure before. Maybe they needed that little extra time, and that was her gift to give them, was that time.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: Well, that was still all part of her story. Otherwise it wouldn't have happened.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:45:27] Speaker B: Well, Gretchen. Helen. Gretchen Jones. Sorry, I did that again.
We're coming towards the end of the podcast. How can people find you and find your book?
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Sure. The book is on Amazon.com and also on barnesandnobles.com. it's available in paperback, kindle and audiobook. I like to read in the car running errands. So I love audiobooks.
You can visit me at my website, www.helengretchenjones.com. and the website shows you sort of information about the book, about any services that I offered. And I welcome anyone with any kind of questions or thoughts to go ahead and email me that information on the website as well.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Brilliant. Thank you so much for coming on the show and for sharing your experience of being a death dollar and how that is healing people across dimensions. That's the way I see it.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: It really is. Yeah. I hope I get to take part in more of those experiences.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: Excellent. All right, thank you so much for coming on. All right, I'll just say goodbye to listeners.
I really enjoy this episode. It was touching to hear how she connects with people and their families at the point of passing and also beforehand to actually allay their fears. I mean, in my understanding and estimation, I don't think that death is something that needs to be so concerned about, because I've had my own death experiences that I will explain one day. And I yeah, I really enjoyed this episode. And if you find that this episode has been good for you, please reach out to Helen Gretton Jones directly on our website, which I'll actually provide in the show. Note links down the bottom. And if you've enjoyed this show on your, on YouTube, like and subscribe. And if you're on a podcast app and you're enjoying my episodes and you want to share some value, please get on your app, press the five star rating, and write something nice. I'd really appreciate that because that helps other people to find these conversations.
So thank you very much for listening to me again and these wonderful people that I get to talk to all over the world. And until next episode, it's bye for now.
